Layers

Consider the scene

Elaine stands at the door with a small bag of various things. I smell salt and vinegar chips, beef jerky and the aforementioned condoms. Mostly those because the chemical latex smell is somehow mocking my lack of foresight. Goddamn these hormones and Stephen's body. That sexy, sexy body. Elaine smells slightly anxious and something close to jealous but not quite that. It's a complex thing and I'm not sure how to untangle it just yet. I don't think it's entirely bad. Probably. I like her outfit and a small piece of me quickly wonders if I'd look as cute as her in it. She's got a loose knit dark green cap covering just the tips of her ears. A light black wool pea coat covers a green top that dips down to show a bit of her cleavage and there's an intricate pattern woven along the top of it. Well-worn blue jeans disappear into stylish black boots with an ample bit of heel to them. The tip of her nose is red from the slight cold outside and the freckles along her cheeks hide like startled animals amongst the blush rising there.

All of that and my immediate thought is:

I like her shirt. Would it look good on me?

I blame the recent shopping trip and all the clothes I tried on.

Stephen is on the floor, propped up on his elbow and hip. His face is stubbly and I don't have to close my eyes to feel the way it scratches against me when we kiss. His eyes flicker to Elaine before settling back on me. He's more relaxed now. His control has set in and the emotions from earlier are swept under the rug again. I know they're still there. I know he still worries. It's who he is. The thick hair on his chest is matted from our... activities from earlier. There is dried cum (both of ours) on his penis and it lies down and across his right thigh. His testicles are somewhat baggy but hidden behind a thicket of pubic hair. I should be laughing at his penis right now. It's small and just kind of lying there. He's huge when he's hard so it's kind of like a comically deflated balloon. A penis balloon. Nice. But, no. I ache inside this woman's body. A good ache from that penis. Deep inside of this woman's vagina. From the little experience I have with being fucked, I know I'll be sore for a while. And he's owning it right now. Stephen is just lying there, watching me. Knowing that he

took

me. Letting that go was more difficult than I imagined but I want it again. I want him to take me again. So, no, I don't giggle at his penis. I crave it.

And now, me. Standing like a naked female wrestler. I can feel Stephen's cum in me. His cum in me. It's an interesting thing. If you take it just as that then it's just his cum inside of me and it's going to leak out by itself (in fact, a little bit of it is now that I'm standing up) or it's going to do it when I sit down to pee. And it's just another liquid. Sure, that's one way to think of it. But, being wholly new to this experience, I take it a bit further because I sometimes overthink things. This man took me and fucked me and came inside of me. I shiver a little at the memory of his thick cock pulsing deep inside of my vagina. The memory makes me warm and hungry for him yet again. How do I explain it beyond that, though? I am a woman and as Elaine pointed out earlier, I could become pregnant. Probably. I mean, I assume everything is there and works just like it should. So, my mate mounted me and filled me with his cum and I could get pregnant from it. I still don't think I'm explaining how it's different. Before, I took him. This time, he took me. I relaxed my control and he took it from my hands.

I submitted to Stephen sexually and he mated me. The trace feelings of submission run through my body and I blush slightly at the touch of them. I blush like a shy maiden on her first bedding because that's basically what this was. It...

softened

me temporarily and for the first time, I think I felt more in line with my feminine side. No, I'm not saying that all women are weak and should submit and yadda yadda. Listen to what I'm saying. I'm saying I think for the first time, I accepted the feminine side of who I am rather than being a man in a woman's body.

I'll attack from another direction before I sound like a misogynistic pig. Even before all of this, I understood that, okay, women are not just supposed to be barefoot in the kitchen and men aren't all out punching bears and slugging back cases of beer. Well, most aren't. Gender is fluid. Sexuality is fluid. I'm learning this more and more these days. But, take masculinity and femininity. They're layered in thousands of years of socially acceptable norms forced on people. But, ignore a lot of that and we'll boil it down. Feminine is the nurturer. The loving giver. The bottom, sexually. The... gatherer rather than the hunter. I don't want to get into all the yin and yang or Jungian psychology but let's put it at that. Biology and evolution has forced women into that role but let's separate it from women and just leave it as that. It's a male or female in that role. Masculinity is the hunter. The sexual top. The dominant taker. That's also a role both men and women can play. But it's never so simple as that and people can flow between one to the other or find a happy place in between.

And then society gets in the way and we're suddenly forced to think that real men are the bread winners and have to be tough and take care of the poor fragile women. That shit's hard to shake off, even when you

know

deep down that it's ridiculous, years and years of growing up with that around you makes it instinctive. I wouldn't call myself an outdoorsman at all or a man's man but I still feel the pull of the whole "A man should take care of a woman." And then, holy crap, you add in this Alpha wolf stuff and that boosts it by an incredible amount. I am the masculine hunter. I take. I prowl. I kill. I give the fucking orders. Becoming (I feel a slight gag at the thought) Hannah did me no favors in getting in touch with my feminine side.

But, that's just what I did with Stephen. That's why I just felt for the very first time in my life. I purposefully let go and embraced that other part of me. The feminine part. No, not because I grew breasts. I mean I let go and I surrendered myself and I let Stephen take me and guide me.

I submitted to him and it went beyond the sexual part of it. At the moment, sure, it was completely sexual. But, I opened myself completely to it. I trusted and loved him and it did something to me slightly. I just gave him a very, very large and scared part of myself and trusted him to handle it gently and he did. It was, in hindsight, terrifying. And, I think, very important for me. I see the edge of something that I want to explore more with him. I don't want to be submissive always but I feel like I made an important discovery - just the tip of it. I want to know what it means for me. I want to see where it takes me and how it changes me.

So, yes, dammit. In a way I'm furthering stereotypes about women and femininity because I feel like I just embraced my womanhood in an important manner. And for some reason, the whole "I could get pregnant" thing adds to it and I can't exactly yet put my finger on the reason why that makes a difference. For the other parts of it, what the difference is to me is that I refuse to see it completely like that. What I'm going to try to set in my brain is that having this body gave me the opportunity to let the control go. Having a penis does weird things to your thoughts and I'd never thought before that I was bisexual or gay. Perhaps... perhaps it was in me to one day have a man or woman take control sexually in some way - with a strap-on or anal sex or just submitting in some way to them. It's just that until this point in my life, all I knew was that I had a penis and I was the one doing the fucking. Great fun for all around but I had no idea what I was missing and this woman's body gave me a shortcut to the process. I took a step from the rigid society-enforced male heterosexual dominance game and into the wide world of gender and sex fluidity. A toe in the water.

I'm learning an immense amount lately and it feels like sometimes it's a bit too much. And there are so many more things to worry about and think about. Where do you even start?

If you're me at this moment, probably you do something about the sudden goop of cum cold-creeping its way down your thigh. So, I grab Elaine. "Us girls have to use the bathroom. Back in a bit. I have to dispose of this love juice. And pee." Elaine makes a funny "ew" face but puts the bag down and follows after me, kicking her boots off as she walks.

My bathroom is tiny and with two people in it, I feel like a clown packing in other clowns in an attempt to break the circus clown bathroom packing record. With a sexy lady circus clown. That's acceptable to me. I unceremoniously sit down on the toilet and kind of hunch forward with my arms under my tits. I sometimes forget how soft and, yet, firm they feel on me. I kind of love my boobs. I'll save the details of the sound of cum glooping out of me but it basically gloops. It's not exactly sexy. Elaine straddles the edge of the bathtub and politely looks at the ceiling while I don't at all grunt to get cum out of me. Oh, huh. My breasts are covered in Stephen's chest hair. His curly chest hairs. Hah. Okay. That's kind of a weird juxtaposition. I add "picking chest hair off of my chest" to the cum expelling.

"So," I tell Elaine. "Hi."

Elaine grins at the non-existent spider in the corner of the ceiling. "Hi," she says back.

"I didn't use a condom. I'm a terrible woman. I should just be popping out babies left and right and wading through a sea of them right now. I mean, seriously, Stephen gets all sexy with me and all I can think about is his cock and how great it feels. Oh, by the way, as a previous man I can tell you one benefit to being a woman. I can sit here on the toilet and think about cocks and vaginas and sex and be all turned out but not have to worry about getting a sudden boner. Let me tell you, as a man, it sucks ass to get a boner on the toilet. You don't want your dick touching the inside of the toilet lid." I'm rambling. I know I am. I need to just carefully and gently get my actual thoughts off my chest before I change my mind.

Elaine laughs and looks at me. "Ugh, seriously? That's gross. But, yeah, isn't it great? You can stare at a guy's ass or the bulge in his pants and all that happens is a bit of happy dance in the pants but no evidence of it. That's part of the trick because then you can continue to be all serene and queen-like and regal while your vagina is slobbering away at the thought of dancing on some guy's cock. They never need to know. One of the many, many tricks of being a woman."

Now it's my turn to laugh. "Oh my god, I always knew it. Women are assholes." We giggle together a bit and, well, that's good because it helps to, ummm, cleanse. "Are you mad at me? Or jealous about something?" Oh Jesus. Yeah. Careful and gentle. Good job, you.

"Wha- no. What in the world? Why would I be mad at you?" Elaine looks genuinely puzzled and I'm relieved about that.

"It's my nose. I smell something around you sometimes when I'm with Stephen and it smells like jealousy. Or something. And I don't want you to be jealous because I don't want to get between you two and I don't want to cause problems. And because it's confusing as well. During the walk earlier I couldn't even decide where to stand." Why am I sitting on a toilet while having this conversation? Why am I dumb like that?

"No no no." Elaine is waving her hand in front of her face and there's a slight blush in her cheeks again. "No. I'm... I'm not jealous. It's, I think it's possessiveness. And happiness. It's weird. No, that's not quite it, either. I have a place with Stephen and I know how strong that is. I know how much he loves me. Then there's you suddenly. Suddenly my head is filled with you and I know Stephen feels the same. But, umm, I feel like we all belong together. I feel like we're all in a triangle holding onto this rope but your pull is so much stronger than mine or Stephen's pull. Well, so, maybe I'm a little nervous. And maybe I'm a tiny bit jealous when you're with him because I want to be with you. And with him too. But that's just silly because I am with both of you. So... so... maybe a tiny bit of jealousy? But not in a bad way? Maybe?" Her voice is down to nearly a whisper and she's not looking up at me by the end. So it is bothering her in a real way.

What am I supposed to do about this while on the toilet? Why did I decide to have this conversation while Elaine's husband's cum is leaking out of me? Ah. I think... yeah, I think it's finally done. Holy shit he cums a lot. "Gimme a sec," I tell Elaine. Standing, I grab a bit of toilet paper and oh, crap, still sensitive. Still a little sensitive. I gently dot myself off. From the front. Showing my wizard's sleeve off to the world. Or, well, Elaine. I cough a bit and then straddle the tub next to Elaine. It's colder than a witch's titty but I run pretty warm these days so it's easy to ignore. I mentally chortle at the whole 'wizard sleeve' thing. I used to have an email with a list of euphemisms for women's vaginas and that was my favorite one. I never got around to trying to refer to any of my girlfriend's vaginas by the name but, hey, look, I have my own now. Well, but not the drooping actual wizard's sleeve kind. No. Mine's actually tucked in like a Photoshopped porn magazine model's vagina. Very compact and cute and sexy.

I could tell Elaine that it's all okay and she'll be fine. She'd believe me and trust me. I know she would. It is a very unfortunate side effect of this whole werewolf stuff. Which, by the way, holy shit, werewolves. Sometimes I forget that too. Fucking werewolves. Literally. I am her Alpha and I could tell her to get over it and she probably would. There'd be some emotional pain but she'd drop it. Of course I won't do that. But, I'm also not just going to tell her it's okay. I've been doing that. I've been pushy reassuring people.

I reach out to touch her leg and then just look at her. "What can I do to help, Elaine?" Look at the big bad Alpha asking for opinions now. Watch out, soon I'll be begging to be tied out and used.

She's surprised again. Slightly. Her hand closes around mine and she smiles her crooked little semi-fragile smile. I want to hold her tight against me. "No, I'll be fine. It's hard for me to talk about because I want everyone to be happy but just nudge me and get me to talk about it if you see me shutting down a little bit. New relationships always come with issues and this is a pretty different new relationship."

"I'll never get between you and Stephen. Not in that way. Seeing you two together in the way you both have together is the thing that drew me to you. Stephen needs you to pull him out of the dark space he has around himself. And he grounds you so well. I've never seen such a strong love between two young people, Elaine. I'll never break that." God. I sound sappy as hell but it's true. It's one of the main reasons I love them - they're disgustingly in love with each other and fit so well with each other that it makes me cringe some times. "Hell, I don't think I could. Consider me your cheerleader. Now, do..."

There's a solid knock on the front door that's followed by a massive crash that almost sounds like my door being broken. I hear muffled voices and Elaine is already up and at the bathroom door. She's almost too fast. I follow her out and then stop at the scene in the living room.

That sound that sounded like my door being broken? It was my door being broken. The doorframe is splintered around the top and bottom where the door was hung and the door itself is on the couch. There is a trail of splinters from the doorway to the door's final resting place on my couch. I'm hoping the door can use them to find its way back onto the hinges. Somehow. Stephen is ... ah. That's why. It's the man from earlier this morning. The second one - the one that backed off. He's currently on his stomach on my living room and trying to talk. Except he can't because Stephen is trying to crush his skull into the carpet. Stephen is still naked but looks a bit more hairy than when I left him. He's growling and pressed against the man with one hand holding the other man's left hand out and to the side and his right hand playing trash compactor with the floor and the man's head.

Elaine gasps. "You're that guy! From before! What the hell are you doing here?"

The man's left eye flicks over to her. It's red and watering from the pain I'm sure Stephen is causing him right now.

I stand a little in front of Elaine, between her and the man. "Stephen, you're going to kill him and I'm not entirely sure you should right now. Why don't you ease up a bit? Stephen? Ah, fuck." Stephen is drooling from the corner of his mouth. The muscles along his spine have doubled in size and his tailbone is expanding. Claws on his feet are tearing into the floor and his bare cock is fully sheathed in thick fur. He's growling louder now and ignoring me. "Stephen! Get the fuck off of him now." My voice has dropped a bit and I feel an anger from the wolf at the back of my mind. Anger at the disobedience from the male. I crouch down to catch his eye and the muscles in my legs bunch more than they should. A line of heat traces from my shoulders down to my hands and I see fur growing in waves down my arms. My right hand is clawed and my teeth ache. My pussy feels hot for some reason.

"Stephen, listen to her. Let him go, honey. Stephen?" Elaine is anxious behind me and I can hear a hint of fear in her voice. She knows he could easily kill this person.

My voice rumbles with the change. "Stephen. NOW!" He looks at me and growls, brow furrowing with extra skin as his jaw cracks under the pressure of larger teeth growing in. Stephen's right arm is a furry mass of muscle and the man under him has his eyes closed against the pain. Stephen's not there and the wolf in me is practically begging to cause pain. So, I hit him. It's not as hard as I could do since I'm crouching and the stance is awkward but I'm fast and he's not expecting it and, well, I'm a fucking werewolf. Stephen's head snaps back and I follow him with it, leaping to grab him around the throat. He's quite strong but this isn't like earlier with the two men. I'm half-changed myself and it's accelerating. Something feels different. I don't know if it was from this morning or this afternoon meeting with the crazy man or from the revelation after sex with Stephen but I can feel the change happening way more quickly. I embrace it and I feel my tail push out of my body while I bear down on Stephen. He's yowling and scrabbling at me with his claws. I feel him twisting and trying to get out of my grasp as Elaine pulls the man away from him. Stephen is feral and frenzied and it takes everything I have to hold him in place. My legs are wrapped around his thighs and I lock my forearm across his thick throat while he sputters.

And then I let go and hit the back of his head. This time I'm in a good position and it hits him hard. He yelps like, well, a struck dog. I hit him again and he stops reaching for the other man in order to protect his head. His long, wolf-like ears are laid flat and he's whimpering slightly so I stop hitting. Instead I grab the thick fur at the base of his neck and press him down hard. I try to tell him to stop fucking moving but it comes out as a growling grumble. Regardless, he goes limp as he looks away from me and to the ground.

I stand and relish in the power of Hannah's werewolf. My werewolf. I feel huge. I'm standing on the thickly padded balls of my feet and I can feel my long tail lay flat against the back of my furry thighs and slightly between my round, furred ass cheeks. I thought my hips were amazing as a woman but as a female werewolf, I think I could birth a full litter.

THAT

thought makes me want to blush again. My heart thrums in my chest and I want to run hard. I want to claw and run and jump and use every single expanded muscle in my body. My enormous breasts lay heavy against my chest but the weight is nothing on me. I stand unashamed in front of everyone, including the stranger. Even if I were slightly embarrassed, my sex is hidden behind a thick brown tuft of fur that spreads to my belly button. I'm somehow slightly wet and I'm sure everyone here can smell it. We're all werewolves here, hey? But, I'm still me. Still conscious. Still rational. Just, well, more angry. More ready. To do anything. Something funny, though. I don't know what to do with my hands. Do I put them on my hips and strike a cocky pose? Do I just put them at my side and ignore them? I settle for crossing them under my large, soft, furry tits instead. And then I stare at the man kneeling by Elaine.