Ing of the Demons

The souls of exceptionally wicked men are made to endure a special Rite of Passage in Hell and those who succeed, they get to become Demons. In mortal life, I was Baler, the right-hand man of His Highness the Great Aku, an ancient king who ruled over the Basaa people in what is today called Cameroon. In my time, I was a particularly brutal warlord. I was born in 290 and died in 324 A.D. I was slain on the battlefield by one of my own men, if you can believe that. When I died and went to Hell, I expected all kinds of torment but found out I had kind of a fan club down below. Among my fans? You got it, Lucifer Morningstar, the Lord of Hell himself.

After enduring all kinds of Hell and proving my mettle, I underwent a metamorphosis and became a Demon. Very few human souls are wicked enough to become Demons. I joined an elite club, and I wanted to rise even higher. I returned to the planet Earth in the summer of 717 A.D. and I have been having fun ever since. As a Demon, I possess many powers in the earthly plane. I can assume the form of any human being I touch. Shape-shifting does have its perks, what can I say? I can also read minds. With a simple thought, I can Teleport myself anywhere on earth. I can summon fire and lightning, and wreak all kinds of havoc. Oh, yeah, it's cool being a Demon. And all I've got to do is what comes natural. Destroying others.

I have seen so much carnage in my time. I rode around with Genghis Khan, the most stalwart man the ancient world has ever produced, and I also camped with Richard the Lion Heart, King of England and leader of the Crusaders. I hunted antelopes with Shaka the Zulu in pre-colonial South Africa, and also smoked stogies with Adolf Hitler. However, my greatest claim to fame was influencing a certain Arabian preacher and warlord whose actions would forever change the world for many generations to come. In many of the tales told about him, the Arabian preacher in question spoke to an Angel in the Desert and that Angel supposedly spoke the Word of God to him. From those words he formed the basis of what many consider to be the world's fastest-growing religion.

If only the world knew. The Arabian preacher spoke to a spirit, it was true, and he received instructions from that spirit. What no one knows is that the spirit he spoke to wasn't the Archangel Gabriel, the Messenger of God. Nope, he spoke to little old me. How about that, huh? I influenced one of the most powerful men in the history of the world and led him down a path of destruction and mayhem. Heaven intended for the Arabian preacher to teach to the Arab world that monotheism is the way, as Jews and Christians had previously learned. The Arabs and others were supposed to join the Christians and Jews in the brotherhood of monotheism. Instead I corrupted them and led them to become the rivals and enemies of the very people they were supposed to embrace and cherish. Am I good or what?

When I returned to Hell, Lucifer Morningstar was so impressed by what I've done that he promoted me. You see, in Hell, there are many different classes. Lucifer rules all, and directly below him are the Fallen Angels. They're the aristocracy of Hell. Demons, monsters and the souls of wicked people, we're all second-class citizens in the eyes of the Fallen Angels. Lucifer promoted me to the rank of Arch-Demon. I'm the only Arch-Demon in the Underworld, by the way. Lucifer imbued me with powers equal to that of a Fallen Angel. For this, I am hated by the Fallen Angels and both feared and admired by the lesser denizens of Hell. You can hate all you want, bitches. I got promoted because I'm good at my fucking job, that's what!

So, here I am in the City of Toronto, Ontario, doing my thing just like always. I went to the University of Toronto, and had myself a fun weekend. I walked into the dorms Friday morning and by the time I exited the premises on Sunday night, let's just say the place was a whole lot bloodier. Openly gay student and political activist James Hadelson was shot and killed by his secret lover, Islamic Student Union president Mohammed Amin. He was shot by Toronto police service constable Debra Jones-Winston. Isabel Atkinson, an international student from London, England, hung herself in the dorm laundry room. Officer Debra Winston got commended on a job well done by her fellow officers in the downtown precinct of the Toronto police service, but when she went home to celebrate, she found her husband Albert Winston in the arms of her brother Donald Jones. She shot them, then killed herself. Six deaths. All my doing. Not bad for a weekend exhibit, eh?

This little weekend excursion was my idea of a vacation. I've done quite a few impressive things lately. The Pope quit. The world was beyond shocked when the leader of all Christendom opted to resign. Billions of Christians wondered why he did it. I've got the answer. Do you want to know why he did it? To avoid a scandal of epic proportion which would destroy the Vatican if it came to light. I'm stirring the pot around the world. The leaders of various Muslim nations are giving into radicalism and it won't be long before Muslims around the world start uniting against non-Muslims and global war ensues. The United States, Canada, Australia and the European Union will be drawn into the fray. Around the world, people will start organizing for the grandest and final war in the history of mankind. For much of the twentieth century, people have been told that race and culture don't matter, only one's personality, beliefs and fortitude. Well, this war shall reveal that truer words were never spoken.

The world will end in cataclysmic destruction as Christians, Jews, Hindus, Atheists and others are forced to unite to defend themselves from a global onslaught of Islamists. Lucifer's grand plan for the destruction of mankind was just an idea in the back of the minds of many among Hell's rulers...until I helped make it a reality. When the Creator made the world, He showed infinite love to humans and absolute contempt to Fallen Angels, demons and other denizens of the darkness. Now, at last, we shall have our revenge as mankind is destroyed. With a multitude of human souls condemned to the fires of Hell, the balance of power shall be tipped in Hell's favor at last. We shall have the numbers necessary to batter down Heaven's Gate and destroy it. And there's absolutely nothing you or anyone else can do about it. I'm here to bring you Hell.