Hey, guys sorry it took so long for this submission. I made it longer xD! Comments and criticism is welcome, still looking for an editor! As always I hope you enjoy!
-Rum
*****
Dear Diary,
The first few weeks were the roughest. The worst of it was the tattoo man who came in to permanently ingrain my time in slavery with a caged bird on my thigh wrapped in thorns as the mouth bled trying to break free. I cried for days after I got it. The training was most brutal, and tiring. I was taught all the rules from "You will always address me as master. Not 'Sir' and especially not 'Graylen'!" to "No you may not shit in Mrs. Polik's soup."
I was reprimanded only once and it was for the nasty comments about what I could do to her soup. My agenda was a lot more different than the way I expected it to be. I assumed I was going to be treated as a dog, that I'd acquire many beatings, sleep in a cold cell, and only see daylight when I was being used. But I was severely wrong. I had my own little cozy room. I kept a desk that I filled with pencils and markers for my creative sessions, and a table with little chairs that fit me comfortably but Graylen looked like he was sitting at a child's tea table. I also had a pretty silver couch that sat in front of a TV. I wasn't allowed to use television yet but I was working on that. It was an overall acceptable existence.
But after training my days got boring.
Graylen was usually only nice when he was horny, so it left me without an accomplice. Lina and Lana were usually with their knickers off bending over for the kitchen boys so they were out, and I wasn't allowed out the house so I only visited with Opa when he came in for his breaks.
I was left to explore Graylen's castle alone. I thought often of hanging around the Polik's to ruin their day but Graylen restricted me from them. I rolled my eyes. He was such a fun-sucker.
Some days when I was bored to the point of reciting cool ways to die he'd take me out to town. Of course he has his mean streak and had often hauled off on men in the street that commented nasty vulgar things my way but I don't blame them. My master has me wear these see through floral lace contraptions he calls clothes. My attire is begging for a vulgar comment.
The Dramins snorted less finer things than what I'm wearing.
I closed my book and set it in my lap.
I wonder how the other girls are faring, I thought as I picked at the fraying ends of my pink dress. I knew the Timas would be fine but I was worried about the Paylahs. Like Otleah. She was sold to the general himself, her life is probably not easy. And Freina, was she still pregnant? And my new cousin. Is he alive and well? Or was he punished for my aunts sins?
I stretched my bare toes and pulled up the front of my dress to add a semblance of coverage. I knew it did nothing but I pretended it did. This dress was just as see through as the rest, hugging tightly to my rapidly growing stomach. I was glad to gain my weight back, I had looked so sickly before. The doctor Graylen insisted I keep in touch with left me a diet plan to gain back my glory healthily. The gym was the only thing I was allowed to use so I spent much time in there. I focused on toning my body and tightening up loose spots like my ass, and sides. I huffed thinking about Danshu as he was one of the tribes physicians. Id wring that mans neck if I ever got close enough.
I was so wrapped up in my morning thoughts that I didn't even hear Opa come in until he sat next to me. I sighed deep wishing I could share these thoughts but I was prohibited of speaking of my friends.
"Hello, Opa." I said instead.
"Hello, Verglasia." He folded his hands across his stomach and sat back in the couch. Opa was in his mid-twenties. He was tall and lanky, blonde. Not my type but the twins swooned when he was near.
"I've never seen a blonde until we were abducted." I offered. He quirked a smile.
"I don't believe that one bit."
"Oh I'm serious, we're all brunette on my side."
"Everyone?"
"Everyone."
"That's insane."
"I know right."
He chuckled. "All brunettes huh?"
I raised my brows and nodded. "Especially the Kaskains."
"I've only ever seen grey eyes on a couple people. Your lordship included." He tilted his head towards me and grinned.
"Yeah but his eyes change. Its not the same." I shooed him away from my bowl of grapes.
"Let me have one," he laughed. "And also it is the same."
I giggled fending him off my grapes while we debated if it was in fact the same thing but in the midst of our fun he had ended up pressed to my back while I curled over the bowl. Our eyes met for a split second and he removed himself from me. It grew quiet again as time passed slowly. I was sad when he had to leave but still I wished him a goodnight.
"You too. You're making great progress by the way Verglasia, just accept it and it doesn't hurt so bad. Just focus now on trying to listen. Your pride will only cost you your life." He sighed kissing my hair and leaving briskly.
As per usual his advice only hurt him, I never listened to it. My job isn't to give up, its to survive and right now that's exactly what I'm doing. I never refused a command, it was too risky. At this point Graylen's seen all that I have and being embarrassed only got my ass spanked. I became comfortable in my body long ago anyways, so it didn't matter. I noticed the time was 5:20 pm, Graylen would be home soon. I set aside the rest of my grapes that Opa didn't eat and made my way to the living room. Opa would be back soon with my master and he liked it when I waited for him.
When I first arrived here I was positive I could stay independent from Graylen. He wasn't like other masters with their mind games and forceful natures. He was like any other man who got his way. If he asked it it was to be done immediately. No questions. But he often showed his sweet side that made you laugh along with him even if you thought it was not funny. He was a child in a mans body.
I released a chuckle then and began toying with the ends of my hair. I came so close to loving him one night. It was after a tryst and we laid facing each other as we drifted off. His eyes had changed from green to pink and I actually relaxed. I felt happy. I snapped out of it at once of course and rolled over but it was still there. That slightest bloom of love.
I could love him. If circumstances were different. He wasn't all that bad. He was a good looking champion. A war hero. Conqueror. He'd fit in perfectly at Kaska. I focused hard on imagining Graylen in a hut. It was a funny image. I blinked robotically at a tear that fell down my cheek and splashed my hand. Have I cried for a life lost? Or a life I want but won't have?
"Both." My mind supplied. I heaved then when reality set its course in me. I had not accepted the hard facts of my days yet. I tried to suck it up but I failed miserably. I stared at my hands as they became rapidly more wet. I had to stop this madness.
I jumped out of my skin at the deep voice. I turned to see my master with stress screwed tightly into his forehead. My first reaction was to comfort, wipe his stress away. But then I thought better of it, I had to remember there were lines I set in place. I wiped away the mental breakdown I was previously just in and pretended it didn't happen.
