*Josephine*
Twenty-eight year old Josephine Graves got ready for her shift at the nursing home. She hated second shift only because it kept her away from her little girl Justine but it was the only shift open. She looked down at her daughter and smiled at her. The little girl was what kept her going; it was her picture that Josephine kept in front of her as she struggled through nursing school. It was Justine's name that she said first when she delivered the speech at her pinning ceremony followed by the names of her mother and her sister Belinda. She hadn't bothered to mention the name of Justine's father, he hadn't supported her in her endeavors but as soon as he realized that she was really going to graduate, he became the supportive significant other.
"That's my baby!" he would say to anyone who would listen, "she's going to be a nurse!"
Then he started with the plans that cost money. Rock as he liked to be called would come home with brochures from different car dealerships and leave them laying around for her to look at. When she found them, Josephine would throw them in the trash and he would bring more. After a while, he realized that she wasn't taking the hint and would take her to the different dealerships thinking that she could be pressured into buying a car.
That told her something, he didn't know her very well if he thought that she could be pressured like that. All it did was make her mad and him frustrated. She wasn't sure when she decided that she had had enough of Rocky aka Willis Melvin Cooper but what she did know was that he wasn't going to remain in her life as a significant other.
Unbeknownst to her, she was pregnant with Justine. The thought of abortion or adoption never crossed her mind, this baby was hers. Although she knew though they might be upset at first, she knew that she would have the unwavering support of her mother Debra and her sister Belinda, her father had he been alive would have supported her too. She wanted to be fair so she told Rocky that she was pregnant and that she was going to keep the baby whether he was around or not. She also told him that the baby would have her last name and that he was welcome to be involved with their child if he wanted to.
At first, he was upset and then he got used to the idea and eventually asked her to marry him. On the surface of it, it sounded like a sincere proposal but the more she thought about it the more the feeling that to marry him would be a huge mistake grew.
The surprising thing was the ease in which he accepted her answer, he was almost relieved but even so, he went to the doctor appointments with her and to his credit, he really tried but after awhile things began to come up that he considered more important than the doctor appointments. Nevertheless, Josephine hung in there; she wanted her baby to have a father in its life even if they weren't together.
The closer the birth came, the more Rocky came around trying to get back into Josephine's good graces. She took him back telling herself that it was for the good of their baby. She bit her tongue more times than she could count. He had picked out the names for the baby, Willis Melvin Cooper Jr. if it was a boy and Ellen Agnes Graves if it was a girl.
"The baby gets my last name no matter the sex." she told him unable to keep her mouth shut any longer. "And why does the baby get your last name if it's a boy?" she asked
"Continuation of the male name." Rocky replied as if that explained everything. They argued about it for an hour before Josephine threw her hands up. She was honest enough to admit that there really wasn't anything wrong with giving the baby his last name male or female but just as with the proposal, she knew that she shouldn't. The baby's last name had to be Graves. Eventually, Rocky dropped the subject saying that he would go with whatever she decided.
Justine Angelica Graves made her grand entrance into the world on December 7, 1982 at ten pm on the dot. Josephine remembered the time only because at the moment Justine was born, she felt a shudder of anticipation along with the knowledge that her baby girl was something special. That feeling wasn't the normal feeling that most parents had about their children. This was a certainty that she would have staked her life on. Justine weighed in at nine pounds, six ounces and measured 21 inches in length. She had a full head of black curly hair and had what Josephine considered the most beautiful pair of dark eyes that looked to old to belong to a newborn.
She was in a word perfect.
Even Rocky was smitten with her even approving of the name.
"She's gorgeous!" he said kissing Josephine's head, "I want to be a daddy to her, can we try again?"
She agreed.
For the first year, things went relatively well. The problem started when Josephine decided that she wanted to go to school. She wanted to be able to support her and Justine if she had to but Rocky hadn't seen it that way. He took it as an affront to his manhood that she thought that he couldn't provide for his family.
"I'm not saying that!" Josephine protested and tried to explain that she was thinking about the future with college and things like that. Eventually she stopped trying to convince him and applied for the nursing program. Her mother and sister helped her with babysitting and even helping her to study for tests because one, Rocky refused to help with Justine even if he was home and two, he had no interest in helping her study.
Once he realized that she was going to graduate, then he became the doting significant other but by then it was too late, she didn't want or need his support.
"Was that only three years ago?" Josephine asked herself as he packed Justine's overnight bag. Justine looked up at her and smiled as if to say, "Yep it was." Josephine picked her up and hugged her, "you be good for Aunt Belinda, ok?"
In response, Justine kissed Josephine's cheek, froze and began to cry.
"Hey!" Josephine crooned, "I know that you're a good girl calm down."
It took Josephine more than twenty minutes to calm Justine down so that they could leave. As she put Josephine in the car, she gave her a puzzled look. She had never acted like that before and then she decided that it was nothing.
When she got to Belinda's, Justine clung to her crying for her not to go. For a brief moment, Josephine considered calling in but changed her mind when she saw the time. It was too late to call in and she couldn't bring herself call in at the last minute, she couldn't and wouldn't do that to her coworkers.
"What's wrong with her?" Belinda asked as she literally peeled Justine from Josephine. "Her daddy been around?"
"I don't know what's wrong with her, she was fine and then she started crying and no she hasn't seen Rocky since last week when he brought her birthday gift over." Josephine replied. "I've gotta get going before I'm late, I'll call later."
She kissed Justine goodnight, which set the little girl off into another round of almost hysterical sobbing that sounded so painful that once again Josephine almost changed her mind about calling in. Her sense of fairness to her coworkers and the concern that if she gave in once it could set a precedent made her steel her resolve to go to work.
Tears burned her eyes as she heard Justine screaming for her even though the door to the house was shut.
*******
The shift passed quickly enough but not fast enough as far as Josephine was concerned. Something about the way Justine had clung to her and begged her not to leave worried her. Justine had never been a crier and when she did, there was something wrong. She called Belinda whenever she could to check on things and the report was always the same.
"I don't know Josie but something's not right." Belinda said. "You know that picture of you and her at the zoo? She keeps looking at it and crying. No not as bad as that but Josie, this baby is scared, is there any way that you can come back?"
"I....."