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Just Being Wolfy
I heard the voice of reason inside me; inside my poor numb soul. I looked back, blinking back the stubborn tears, I knew, it was time to let it go but my heart was so willful. Though bleeding profusely, it continued to cling to the very existence of my being. I didn't know what to do. Is there anything that meant more than this? Oh, all the time I've spent, those beautiful hopes and dreams I've long for, all gone in a blink of an eye. It seemed so surreal. Was this a nightmare? Will I ever wake up from this painful slumber?
I blinked again, fighting back the stubborn tears that seemed intent on betraying me. Jerry stared at me, a mixture of emotions swirled on his handsome face as he tried to read my thoughts. I glared at him.
"Isn't it enough Jerry?" I snapped, "Why are you trying to get into my thoughts?"
He had the decency to blush. Darn it. He looked so handsome. I could feel a lump pitted in my throat.
"I -- I wanted to make sure that you're OK," he replied, his hand held out to touch me but I took a step back, making a defined distance even if only a feet away. "I'm sorry Cie-cie, you know that I didn't have a choice in this matter. The Council has decided about it,"
I snarled at him. Furious and broken at the same time when I heard he called me with his favourite pet name. "Don't call me Cie-cie anymore," my voice crumbled. "Don't make this anymore difficult that it already is,"
I didn't know what made him do it. Perhaps it was my tears that streamed down my pale face or perchance the way my hair looped down long and curly on my shoulders, the way he liked it. He closed the gap between us and hugged me, enveloping me into his warm strong body; he showered little kisses on my teary-faced cheeks that left me shudder in anticipation. He was about to move to my full lips when reality dawned upon me. I pushed him away. He staggered back, shocked at such force I used on him. "You're not mine anymore," I murmured, "Not mine..." I couldn't take it anymore. The love of my life was being ripped away from me as time passes. This very minute, I was certain that Fiorelle Andashman was pampering herself, making herself pleasantly ready to be one with Jerry.
"I love you Gracielle Trina Thorn," he whispered, pain and longing was saturated in his voice. He closed the gap and hugged me again. This time I didn't push him away as I hugged him tighter and closer, unwilling for the time to tick pass us. I love him. I love my alpha but he wasn't mine to love.
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"What did Jerry want?" a curious voice startled me from behind. I looked back as Haylie Rose Thorn approached me and helped me with the flower arrangements on the sacred floor. This floor -- this chamber was where Jerry Hynes Thorn, the 23-year-old alpha, will be united with eighteen-year-old Fiorelle under the blessing of the Council and the pack's watchful eyes. Around us, the others were busy preparing and decorating the chamber. A few of the girls including me were assigned by Michael Thorn -- the pack's third in command, to put fresh beautiful flowers on the stone poles surrounding the chamber. It was Fiorelle's request to have a "flowery" union. Ugh. The bride-to-be.
"Nothing," I lied as I continued to tie the flowers and hung them on the poles in a pattern like on a Christmas candy cane.
"Don't lie to me Gracielle," Haylie retorted angrily, she didn't like to be lied upon. "I saw Jerry earlier and he wasn't in his good mood. He practically thrashed his office earlier,"
I sighed. I knew that there was no way to deny Haylie the truth. "He said he loved me," I whispered quietly. Haylie was the only one who I trusted with the secret. Romance between an alpha and an alpha's in-command's daughter were frowned upon by the Council. They didn't believe in interbreeding, it wasn't forbidden but it was best to avoid such circumstances. The pack had five in-commands. My father was the second-in-command and was very proud of it. Jerry, the alpha, had just ascended the alpha duties a year ago after his father had died in a war which had ended to the Thorn Pack's victory. "I love him Haylie," I whispered again, pain ebbed in my heart, "It pains me to do all of this," I said throwing the flowers back into the cardboard box.
Haylie hugged me sympathetically. "The Council..." she whispered into my ear, feeling my pain. "Why didn't Jerry cancel the union? It's tomorrow for crying out loud! Is he a stupid chicken or a wolf?" she released me, she felt sorry to me.
"He can't," I whispered back, I tried to control my voice so that the other wouldn't hear the pain and hatred in it. "Andashman Pack would have waged a war with us for disgracing their Princess and breaking the oath, have you forgotten Haylie?"
Haylie frowned, "This is why I don't like arranged unions, it's too complicated and too old-fashioned,"