Copyright Oggbashan August 2015
Edited September 2015
The author asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.
This is a work of fiction. The events described here are imaginary; the settings and characters are fictitious and are not intended to represent specific places or living persons.
The information about genies is fictitious. Don't try any of the information on your neighbourhood genie. September edit is to correct a minor plot error.
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For mid-morning on Sunday in early August on the North Thanet coast the weather was appalling. There had been a severe storm from the North East last night, and although the wind had reduced there were heavy showers. It was raining hard as I parked my car.
Since my retirement a couple of years ago I had become a beachcomber, looking for items to turn into works of art. Whether they were actually art was dubious. I tried, but I'm not really competent. I have great ideas. My execution is a long way short of the ideas. I'm improving yet I have butchered some interesting beach finds into parodies of my intentions.
Normally I beach comb in the winter when there are fewer people around and more items thrown up by storms. Last night's storm and today's bad weather gave me an unexpected opportunity. If I went far enough from the car park any interesting flotsam or jetsam would be mine. I unloaded my trolley, my small sports holdall and added a plastic tarpaulin to the pop-up angler's shelter. I might need to cover whatever I found. If in my shelter, no one else would take it.
Why did I bother? The car park was empty. No other idiot would be out in this driving rain. I thought, if she knew, my ex-wife Alice would be laughing at me. She used to complain that I had no interests apart from my work. That was the main reason she gave for leaving me. I think she lied. Alice had met Jason, her toy boy, years before she asked for a divorce. But she had been right. Work had been my only interest. Even now, beachcombing was a pastime, not a real interest. Making an art work was more satisfying, or would be if I was even slightly skilled.
How far should I go? Did it matter? Anything washed up during last night wouldn't have been taken. Even the most dedicated dog walkers wouldn't have gone further than they had to. I started walking, scanning the shingle beach from the top of the sea wall.
After half a mile I had a few pieces of twisted tree roots in my trolley. None of them really inspired me but they might do for practice. A few hundred yards ahead was an indentation, a small cove, as the sea wall diverted inland. That cove caught most of the interesting stuff. I pulled the hood of my anorak down as I stomped into the driving rain. At the cove I turned around so my back was to the wind and rain. Only then could I see an accumulation of debris.
I lifted the shelter and tarpaulin off the trolley. I would be here for an hour or so, and the shelter would be pleasant whenever I took a break. I erected it in a couple of minutes in my usual place, a grassy level area well above high tide. The tent pegs slid into the sodden ground. I used more pegs than usual because of the wind. I threw the tarpaulin into the shelter and set off towards the debris.
The storm had eroded the shingle beach to a steeper curve than normal. As I scrambled down towards the flotsam my feet dislodged stones in a series of mini-avalanches. I heard a crunch as if I had trodden on a plastic bottle. I didn't look back. Why should I? I'd see it when I left the beach, and that debris looked very interesting.
"Sam? Are you going to ignore me?"
That voice raised feelings I hadn't had for years. It was sultry, sexy and alluring. I spun around, nearly falling over.
Standing halfway down the shingle bank was a woman dressed in translucent harem pants, a short top and a half yashmak partly covering her lower face. She had a very large transparent shawl or veil over her head and shoulders. The rain was beginning to soak her as I watched. I was speechless. Where had she come from? She can't have walked from the car park because she had been virtually dry when I turned round.
I stumbled my way towards her.
"You'd better get into my shelter," I said. "You're not dressed for this weather."
She wasn't. She was barely dressed at all. Her attire might be suitable for a bedroom in a hot climate but not for a wet English summer. It looked like a 1950s Hollywood costume for an exotic dancer, not real Eastern attire. Except for her bra, panties and open waistcoat, everything was translucent. Her yashmak and veil were almost transparent with a tinge of pink.
"Is that an invitation?" She asked. "I need an invitation."
"Be my guest," I replied automatically.
"Your guest, Sam? Thank you."
She went up that bank and into my shelter as if she was on level ground. I scrambled and slid after her. She was sitting cross-legged at the back. I grabbed my holdall to pull out a towel. I handed it to her.
"I think you need this," I said.
"Thank you, Sam. Please come in too."
There was barely room for both of us in there. I shed my wet anorak and pushed it under the tarpaulin. She was towelling her hair, masses of long brown hair reaching down to her waist.
"Who are you?" I asked, "and why..."
"I'm Jeanie, of course, Sam," she replied. "Can't you see my brown hair?"
As she dried it I could see it was light brown hair.
"Jeanie with the light brown hair?" I asked, stupidly.
"Yes, Sam. I'm Jeanie the Genie with the light brown hair."
I thought I'd humour her.
"And what is Jeanie the Genie doing here?"
"You released me from my bottle, Sam."
"I did? When? How?"
"When you went down to the beach. You broke my bottle and here I am."
"I didn't know I had. What does that mean, Jeanie?"
"It should mean, Sam, that I owe you three wishes."
"Wishes? Don't they usually end up badly?"
"Sometimes, Sam. It depends on the wisdom of the person making the wish."
"I'm not sure about making a wish, but if you have magical powers, surely for your own sake you ought to do something about the rain, Jeanie. And perhaps find some more suitable clothing. Is that possible?"
"Clothing, yes. Fixing the English weather? That's probably beyond my capabilities. How would you like me to be dressed, Sam?"
"It's not what I want," I emphasised, "It's what you would be comfortable and dry wearing. I think I have a spare lightweight anorak in my car. I could get that but your legs would still get very wet, Jeanie."
"This is the traditional female Genie costume, Sam. It's supposed to give you ideas."
"It does, Jeanie, it does. Ideas I thought were long gone. But it isn't very practical in the pouring rain. I don't want a Jeanie with pneumonia."
"But you do want a Jeanie? That's a good start for us, Sam. Turn your back for a few seconds, please?"
I looked out at the pouring rain. Was there a faint hint of lighter sky in the far distance? Or was it just my wishful thinking?
"You can turn round now, Sam."