Author's Notes:
'Jack's Moonlighting' is the eighth story in the saga of Jack Danner. Minimal effort is made in this tale to explain the backstory, so it is highly recommended you read the first seven stories in the following order:
Jack's New Job
Jack's New Position
Jack's Daily Grind
Jack's Wage Slavery Parts 1 & 2
Jack's Snow Day
Jack's True Calling
Jack's Righteous Gig
Jack's Moonlighting Parts 1 & 2
All characters engaging in sexual relationships or activities are 18 years old or older.
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Jack's Moonlighting Part 1
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Chapter 1
To say an Orellian bears a striking resemblance to the Wildebeests of Earth's African Serengeti would be a rude and mean thing to say... about the animals.
The predominant species of Orellia were bipedal herbivores with thick leathery hides, whose heads and faces were covered in coarse and shaggy grey-black hair, very much like the African herbivore. They also had other features that were similar to the Earth creatures, such as curving horns on the sides of their heads, large and mobile furry ears, wide-spaced eyes, and a long sloping face ending at a wide nose above an equally wide mouth. While they had no teeth, their two grinding plates got the job done.
Broad-shouldered and tough as old boots, Orellians were a gregarious species, quick to laugh and equally quick to fight. They were a physical bunch, from playful but heavy slaps on the shoulder to clobbering each other with a knuckle sandwich.
But they never held a grudge.
While superficially similar in these ways, one critical difference was that no Wildebeest ever tried to underhandedly sue a man out of a business he'd built from the ground up with the sweat and toil of his own hands.
No Gnu would ever sink to such depths.
Jack stood in the Defendant's box in an Orellian Supreme Courtroom, waiting on the judge. In their justice system, there were no lawyers. The case was between Jack and Googan Harr, the Orellian claiming the Botany Ice Cream business should be owned by an Orellian, namely Googan himself. After all, he was the one who threw Jack into the ditch where the odd Human discovered Muul Weed.
He looked over at the brute in the Plaintiff box, and Googan grinned menacingly back at him. Most Orellians were just under six feet tall, but Googan was an exception here, with a little additional height at the expense of a little girth.
Definitely, much uglier than a Gnu.
A door opened behind the raised Judge's box, and an old Orellian stomped out and glared at the two in front of him, then at the large gallery of spectators behind them.
No bailiff yelled for everyone to rise as everyone was already on their feet, or hooves, in the case of the locals. Chairs were not allowed in the courtrooms as they might be thrown.
"I'm Supreme Court Judge Occta Keenz! Everyone shut up and listen!" he bellowed, and the courtroom became much quieter. With a satisfied snort, the judge read from the case details on his podium's screen.
"This high court has been convened today to hear the case of Googan Harr of Orellia versus Jack Danner of Chuuruthia. Plaintiff claims the assets of the Botany Ice Cream Corporation are sourced on Orellia and belong to an Orellian citizen, namely himself, by right ofβ" the judge peered more closely at his screen. "intellectual inspiration?" The old Orellian fixed a skeptical eye on the tall, brutish plaintiff. He snorted again, suggesting he doubted the male had the means to inspire anything but disbelief. He shrugged with a sigh.
"Googan Harr, you may address the court with your statement of intent," the judge said in his most official tone.
"Thank you, Judge!" Googan bellowed, earning another scowl from the older Orellian, who was not at all hard of hearing.
Googan smiled at the jury, who were made up of nine Orellian citizens, none of whom were allowed to be related in any way to either the plaintiff or the defendant.
"Good citizens of Orellia! It may come as a surprise to you, but Muul Weed is now considered a cash crop! This off-world scoundrel found a way to turn this menace to our drainage systems into a high-demand product, and the profits of this venture have been stolen from the very Orellian whose actions were directly responsible for the discovery."
Nine sets of wide-spaced eyes turned to glare at Jack.
Jack heard a quiet and polite throat-clearing sound. He knew this was only audible in his mind as it came from Rikki, the Tik sharing his perceptions. "Yes, Rikki?" he replied internally.
"Are you sure I shouldn't join you in the courtroom? It looks like it might get hostile," the Tik asked. Rikki had full access to Jack's vision, hearing, and olfactory senses. In truth, it shared all his senses, and the scent of Orellian anger rising was beginning to become noticeable over the other background odors.
"Nope. Please wait outside. Under no circumstances are you to enter the courtroom. That would guarantee I'd lose this case," Jack returned. "You look far too much like a weapon. Sorry, buddy."
Rikki's body was a small black orb, the latest upgrade being roughly the size of a basketball and so non-reflective it seemed to draw in all light around it. As it moved smoothly and silently, those who didn't know Rikki's gentle nature felt uneasy in its presence.
The truth was, Rikki
was
equipped with powerful weaponry inside the orb. Something they did not advertise.
A sigh came from the Tik. "If you need me..."
"I know. It'll be okay. It's almost my turn to speak," Jack replied as he watched the Judge.
The senior on the podium slammed his fist against the surface to quell the rising grumbling in the courtroom. Eyes returned to the Judge as he scowled until quiet was restored.
"Jack Danner, as a guest on Orellia and not a citizen, you are not bound by our laws, but you have an investment in our world that is being called into question. You may address the court with your rebuttal statement," the judge said.
Jack nodded respectfully to the judge, then glanced at the angered jury before facing his opponent.
"Googan, you ignorant turd gargler."
The jury burst into laughter, and the judge began pounding his fist for silence again once he stopped laughing himself.
Jack continued. "You don't have the intellectual capacity to run an operation like this. If you are successful today, all you'll have is the raw Muul Weed. The jury deserves to hear if you have a brilliant business plan to make a viable business from that."
Googan was grinding his plates at Jack but grinned in surprise when Jack handed him the opportunity to get control of the discussion once more.
"I will find my own scientist who will make this
ice cream
from the Muul Weed!" Googan declared, and the jury nodded at this. The gallery made encouraging noises.
"You've gotten ahead of yourself, Googan, which is a startling achievement for someone so slow-witted." More laughter from the jury and thumping from the judge before Jack continued. "Where will you process the raw Muul Weed into the product your imaginary scientist can use?"
Googan gripped his podium's edges like he was trying to tear it loose from the floor to smash Jack with it. Luckily for the defendant, it was securely triple-welded to the floor and wouldn't budge. The Orellian got a crafty look in his eye. "The processing plant my company delivers our collected weed to is on the edge of Orellia's capital city! As an asset of Orellia, it should be included in the assets given over to me."
Jack pounced on that. "Did you just mention that you already profit from the business you are attempting to steal?"
Googan looked at him cautiously. "What? No!" His eyes flicked up to see the Judge's disapproving stare. "I mean, yes, I have a business that harvests the Muul Weed from all the storm drains within the capital and the surrounding towns."
Jack spoke again to keep up the momentum. "Was it my direction that led you to set up this company, and did I not sign a contract with you to perform these collections."
Googan gave the jury worried glances, so he went on the offensive. "You gave me scraps when the riches go off-planet!"
The jury didn't like the sound of a local boy being a tool of the big bad outsider, and they snarled their disapproval.
Jack was ready for his next stage. "Let's pretend you are somehow worthy and get control of these assets, the Muul Weed, the factory I designed and built, which employs over eighty Orellian citizens." He looked the jury members in the eye as he stressed the next bit. "
With full benefits.
" The jury murmured approvingly. "And let's stretch our imagination to believe you'll find a botanical scientist as brilliant as my Chuuruthian friend, and they find the formula to make ice cream." He saw Googan was watching for a trap in his words. "What will you do next?"
"I'll get a bigger home and buy my annoying brother-in-law one, so he'll stop mooching off me! I'll keep the remaining money and be rich!"
The crowded gallery cheered as that matched what they thought was a successful Orellian businessman.
"HA!" Jack laughed loudly in scorn, and the room went quiet. "You call that a business plan? You say none of the profits will benefit Orellia?" Jack gasped in outrage dramatically. "My business plan pays
all
the Orellians who collect the Muul Weed, including the employees at your company. It pays
all
the processing plant staff, including their health benefits. It pays government fees for running the plant. When the Muul Weed is sent to Chuuruthia for the final stage of becoming ice cream, fees and salaries for operating there are paid. The final product has been exported and sold on five planets with great success. Thirty-three percent of the profits are fed directly into the Orellian municipal budgets in the territories that harvest the raw Muul Weed. Your neighborhoods!" He gestured to the jury. "These funds pay for things like public works projects, education funding, and housing projects. They also buy
all
the beer for the annual beer fests!"
The members of the jury and the entire gallery screamed their praise for Jack's plan. The only thing that outsells a story of