My arm is sore and I have a little bump at the injection site.
I hope the judge burns in hell.
The shuttle beeps behind me but I waved it away and the wing doors close while it rises from the ground with a heavy gust of downdraft that stirs the hem of my habit. It takes a moment for the main engine to kick on and then the wind dies and it accelerates above me. Even here, in the middle of nowhere, I can see the blinking red strobes of more shuttles flying in the distance.
The memory still hurts. Sitting there while she read the sentence with a stone face and the people behind me
cheered
. Cheered! And yet, that all paled in comparison to the two weeks I spent sitting in a small room, forced to watch the company's briefing over and over until I could recite it verbatim while asleep. Closing my eyes didn't help as the video would pause and more time would be added to the eighteen hours I spent their daily.
Recall and repetition are important to the presentation, Ms. Ward,
the man in the black suit had said at the beginning of the two weeks.
We expect you to pay attention until the details are ingrained in your very core.
Damn him.
Even now the words echo in the back of my mind endlessly and my stomach roils at the images that follow. It is filthy work but my only other option is a coffin-sized cell offworld for the rest of my life with brief periods of heavy manual labor. I was made by God to service his flock, not mindlessly toil under the guidance of false masters so I chose the lesser evil with hope of redemption.
I heft the little briefcase and approach the school but the principal is already there. Frowning. Angry.
He knows.
Without a word, he gestures and I follow to the outbuilding. An ugly, cheap school in the middle of nowhere with an old trailer for an outdoor building. And an assignment
completely
antithetical to what I stand for. A slap in the face designed as a punishment for me.
Still wordless, he points at the door. I can smell the sin on him. For allowing this and even encouraging it.
"You'll be there, too," I tell him with a smirk. "In the fire at the end of time."
But he just shakes his head and walks away. Leaving me in front of the door.
I check my dress, pulling it tight around me. A quick pat of the tight bun I've done for my hair and I open the door.
Ten boys swivel to stare at me. It's the school's small senior class of boys and they look barely more than overgrown children. The smell of them is overwhelming but I can't tell if it's the manure that seems to saturate the entire area or the stink of unwashed teens.
There's a desk and a board behind it, the screen blank with the exception of an array of icons. It's newer than what I'd used at school but it's easy to understand. I only need the drawing and media functions anyway. I set the briefcase down and pop it open, pulling the papers I'd need for reference. A small drone within activates and hovers silently into the corner of the room.
Despite knowing I'd be recorded, it bothers me. I hate the idea of video out there with me discussing this vile practice. Supposedly to ensure I comply with the court order but I know it's to shame me. They can play it whenever I want and show me teaching these
boys
about the technology available to them now that they were of age.
"I'm not going to waste any time," I tell them, grabbing the first page. "And I'm free to admit that I think this is a disgusting practice and I fear for your immortal souls. The fiery pit awaits any that would partake of this. But, let me begin."
I activate the board, key in a phrase and unlock mature content with my fingerprint.
God, it smells in here.
A woman's body appears in detail on the board and I hear a few chuckles behind me. It's an Altered girl, her features distorted into the animal she'd chosen. I close my eyes and count to ten, willing my stomach to settle.
"You've all had the sex talk when you were younger," I tell them. I wish they'd turn up the air conditioner. "I've been sent by the Kyung corporation to give a lecture on-"
"Naw," a boy interrupts. I turn, cheeks red to see him smiling at me. "I know who you are."
"That's not-!"
"You're that nun," he says, his smile widening to show teeth. "The one that kept all them kids locked away for those priests."
My heart drops and a chill consumes me. A thousand excuses clamor for attention. They were orphans! Cast away in a slum growing far faster than the ability of society to care for them. I kept them safe! I cared for them! I- I-
I enjoyed watching,
the quiet little voice says and I can feel the secret excitement growing within me.
"That has nothing to do-"
"Fuckin' sick man," another boy says. "Really? They brought
you
here to talk to us? I remember my parents watching that."
"Yeah," the first boy said. "All the priests got sent off planet but she got a sweet deal to get out of it."
My gut aches and I can't shake the need growing within, even when I close my mind to my memories. It's distracting but I lick my lips and try to stay focused.
"I'm here to finish this," I tell them. "Nothing more. You can listen or you can talk b- but you w- won't stop m- me-"
I lean against the desk. It's spreading from my stomach. Sweat drips from the tip of my nose and I lick it, tasting the saltiness. Panting and sweating.
"T- the presentation," I say weakly, turning back to the board, pointing at the girl's breasts. My hand cramps and I hunch forward. My chest feels hot and my ears are burning. "T- th- the-"
Testosterone and pheromones and the eager readiness of men fill my head and my nose flares to take in their scents. I wipe my mouth and a string of drool comes away so I lap it up.
I- I can't focus. I turn and find the boy who spoke first. He's saying something but I can't hear it right now through the ringing in my ears. I stare at his crotch, seeing the bulge there.
Tasting
it in the back of my mouth. I go to him, one trembling step after another and kneel, shoving my face into his lap to smell him better. I barely notice him push back into his chair with a yelp.
My hips raise and I moan, my mouth closing around his penis. He jumps higher, pushing at the edge of his desk and I hold him in place, licking against his pants and-
I stumble back, eyes wide. The taste of him on my tongue. Of his sweat from running in the gym. Of his excitement despite my suddenness. Panic threatens to rise within as I realize what's happening and I kick back further, whining like a dog with wide eyes.
And yet the heat is starting to consume me and I can't stop opening my legs to spread the sweet fragrance of my need throughout the room. To signal my own changing desires.
"When she senses her Master's urge to rut," my mouth says, echoing the words I'd heard a thousand times in that dark room with the slowly throbbing light. "Your Altered's body undergoes a biological change and she's immediately ready and eager for his attention."
No, no, no no!
I scream inside, grabbing my traitorous outstretched arm to hold against my side. I'm trembling and breathing heavily while the boys begin to stand and talk.
Father Above, save me!