Act Six: Second Helpings
Chapter Four: Take From Me
The drive to the Epsilon Zeta Sorority chapter house proved dull and anticlimactic. The steering wheel jerked and the yellow SUV juddered if Dee pushed it over fifty miles per hour. He considered abandoning the beaten automobile and running barefoot all the way to fraternity row. It shocked him to realize he had been barefoot since "quickening Eurydice," as Yves called it, back in Bee's apartment. He wiggled his toes on the gas pedal. The thought of putting something on his feet was unnerving, exposing.
"I'd feel naked," he told his reflection in the rearview mirror. ""Just wearing socks would make me feel naked." He downshifted into third gear and the SUV stopped trembling. He filed the barefoot question in his mental Things to Figure Out Later folder.
Damn, that folder's getting pretty big.
With the automatic gearshift stuck in third, it would take him over an hour to drive to Epsilon Zeta. Pulling over and running began to appeal. His nanomek had remade him inside out, after all. Surely indefatigability during marathon sex translated into running a real marathon. And what about super-speed? Did he have any?
Red and blue flashed in the rearview mirror. Dee ignored the strobe lights for the moment, pondering super-speed. "Dumb name," he said. "'Celerity'. That's better."
A siren squawked once. Dee sighed and pulled over, a police car riding his tail.
What about celerity?
he wondered.
Do I have any?
He put the SUV in park and kept his hands at ten and two o'clock on the steering wheel, waiting for the state trooper to run the SUV's tags, call in the stop, and mosey over.
Even if I have celerity, what would happen if I used it?
Dee had to experiment and learn the limits of his powers eventually, he decided, but now was not the time.
If Yves were here, he'd say, "Go with what you know."
There was too much at stake for experimentation now.
The state trooper moseyed up to the busted driver's side window, drawling smoother than John Wayne. "What happened to your car, son?" He held a pad of ticket forms in one hand. "Driver's license and registration, please."
"You don't need to see my identification."
"I don't, huh? Now why is that, son?"
"
I can go about my business.
"
The state trooper tore off the top form and crumpled it before retreating, his gait still set to Mosey as if nothing unusual had happened. "Move along."
Dee confessed to his reflection, "All right, maybe a little experimentation," and spent the rest of his trip quantifying his abilities in Star Wars terms. By the time the SUV rattled down fraternity row, Dee had given up on any aspirations to Jedi knighthood.
Tomoe's
"kuzbu"
aligns more with the other guys.
"That's okay," he said aloud, turning onto Campion Street, "the Dark Side has cooler lightsabers anyway."
The SUV rounded a bend, Epsilon Zeta Sorority House came into view, and reality became stranger than fiction. Dee took his foot off the accelerator and coasted into the cul de sac, not sure of what he was seeing. Porn movie clichés raced through his mind and the gaggle of vehicles parked in front of the house’s made sense in a funny, but not humorous, way.
"All that’s missing is a plumber’s van," Dee mused. He parked the SUV against the curb along side the FedEx truck, the russet Dodge Shadow capped by a triangular
Napoli’s Pizza
marquee, and an electrician’s van from a cable television company with a very ironic name, considering the circumstances. A ten-speed bicycle leaned against the steps leading to the house’s columned front porch. The bike was rigged with canvas saddle bags brimming with newspapers. "Christ, I hope that paperboy’s over eighteen."
Dee had not expected Cherry to start collecting guys—and "collecting" was the precise word for what Cherry did with men, Dee decided—until the party tonight. Did it change anything?
They’re just more cards for her to hold. She already has the upper hand; it’s even "upper" than I had thought, that’s all.
Dee surveyed the other buildings in the cul de sac, all unaffiliated student housing, and all dead quiet.
It’s Friday afternoon, so where is everybody?
He glanced at the dashboard clock: 4:20 PM.
"Oh. Duh." The lace-curtained windows in the sorority house’s three stories belied no movement. "Well, I’ve been talking to myself for a couple minutes now." The house’s front door remained closed. "And no skank-bot, wet tee-shirt, carwash zombie horde…uh, thing…this time. So I guess my public fuckability’s under control. Right?"
Or Cherry’s found a better game to play.
He listened to the SUV’s engine clank as it cooled. "Right. Here we go."
Dee swung open the car door, connected his bare feet to the ground, and felt his mind clarify, as if he had squeezed contact lenses, not into his eyes, but inside his head. He became aware of background details, the contours of ivy leaves and the granules of mortar on the sorority house’s brick edifice, without feeling overwhelmed or distracted. "Weird. Like Ritalin."
Dee mounted the stairs and crossed the whitewashed porch to the front door. The door stood ajar a fraction of an inch, just enough to prevent the latch from catching. Loneliness and longing welled up within him. He wanted one of his friends to say, "It's a trap!" or "I have a bad feeling about this." It was the perfect occasion, almost obligatory, and the stretching silence compounded Dee's sense of loss and doubt.
"God," Dee beseeched, "don't let me do anything stupid." He brushed open the door and edged inside.
Epsilon Zeta's foyer stank like a frat house. An Easy girl lazed against the wall, her back to the door. Strawberry blonde curls stuck out beneath her FedEx cap. She wore a tasseled leather jacket but no pants, only a pair of thong underwear skewed off the crack of her juicy ass. Her head cocked, trapping an old-fashioned phone handset between her cheek and shoulder, she twirled the cord around her fingers as she spoke.
"Uh huh. And three spicy tuna rolls. Yeah. Around five o'clock's fine. Can I request deliverers? Is Shota working tonight?" She turned to face forward, lacy black bra peeking out behind her jacket. Her voice trailed off as she stared at Dee. "Uh," she mumbled into the phone, "never mind." She squared her shoulders and the phone thunked to the floor. "Dinner's here."