Book Two: Secret Origins
Chapter One: Weird Science
"You promised, Galatea."
"I lied."
"You don't lie."
"Yes I do! I lie a lot! I lie all the time! I'm lying right now!"
"I mean you don't make false promises. You lie about them, but you never break them. There's a difference."
"All right, Dee, you win. You can go to that stupid store. But I still think you need to work on your priorities. Priority one: fuck me. Mm. Priority two: fuck me. Mm, God, you taste good. Priority three: fuck m—oh, fuck me, Dee, just fuck me!"
"I have! I will! Wait a minute, I think I am—Ga-Galatea! No more ambush sex, you promised!"
"We've had this conversation already! It ends with—mm—you fucking me so—ooh—so why stop now?"
"You know, I think you've got a point …"
"Mm—God, Dee! Yes. Fuck! More. God.
More
."
* * * *
Dee examined his profile in the bathroom mirror. It was hard to be sure through the grimy crust accumulated over three days worth of nonstop, sweaty sex with an amorphous, amorous, dangerous, nymphomaniac dessert foodstuff, but he had to ask. "Galatea," he called, "do I look any different to you?"
"Say what now?" she called back from the bedroom.
He traced a few fingers over the line of his jaw and pushed up his cheek. "Do I look any different to you?"
"I've only known you for three days. Dee," she added, petulant, "come back to bed."
Dee performed the unflattering half-twist everyone makes when failing to catch a glimpse of their own butt. "We broke the bed when you tried to tie me to the bed frame," he said, twisting the other way.
He heard a sighing, slurping noise. "Oh, I've made you a bed," Galatea said, her voice so smoky it gave him goose-bumps. "Come here and let momma tuck you in nice and tight."
"I'm serious," Dee said, "I mean, all my zits are gone, for instance. Even that big one that just seemed to move around on my ass for the past five years."
"Will the wonders of nookie never cease. C'mon, let's have s'more before it gets a chance to grow back."
Dee struck a few silent poses. He scratched his head, his hair a calcified mass overdosed on green hair gel.
Galatea huffed in frustration. Dee heard a loud slosh and then the patter of dainty feet. "Alright, then, what do you think is different?"
"I'm not sure. I think I look sort of 'streamlined,' maybe?" He shrugged wide, surprised to see the muscles in his mirror-imaged arms and shoulders bunching. He had been getting a Hell of a workout lately, he admitted to himself. "Maybe I lost weight? I mean, I haven't eaten anything but, well, you, for a while now."
Galatea stood, stark naked, her back pressed against the bathroom doorframe. She slid down the frame like a pole dancer, bending at the knees, rolling her fingers through her hair, head swaying, hips rocking. "'Doesn't just taste good—it's good for you too!'" she baby-talk mocked. She pressed her palms to the floor between her legs and sat like a cat. "You look like you've always looked to me," she said, her voice tender. "I don't see any difference. Honestly." She gave him a sly upward glance. "But the view from here is mag-fucking-nificient."
"All this attention is making me feel self-conscious, and I must be coming off as really self-absorbed. I'm sorry," Dee said, smiling. "I'm sure it's nothing."
"Think of it this way," asked Galatea, standing tall. "Is your dick any bigger?"
Dee panicked. He looked down. "No," he sighed, relaxing.
Galatea whirled around and threw her hands in the air. "Then who cares?" she said, marching back into the bedroom.
She grinned wide at the sound of Dee's laughter and leaned back in to wink at him in the mirror. "You coming? You really oughta give my new bed trick a shot. A money shot, I mean. Maybe a dozen."
"Definitely," said Dee, "but please, later. If I go to bed now I'm sure I won't come up for air until midnight—"
"At the very least, bright boy."
"—And I really want to get to SRU today, and it's already, what, eleven o'clock?" Dee plucked a purple bathing scrubber out from beneath the sink and tossed it into the tub. "After today I've only got one more day of bereavement leave and then I've got to go back to work on Monday."
"You've got two other grandparents, two parents, and a sister yet to kill," Galatea said, "I'm going to keep you locked in here for a fucking month."
Dee unwrapped a new bar of soap. "You know that won’t work."
"I know," Galatea sighed, "but I'll think of something! What are you doing in there anyway?"
Dee's hand froze above the shower tap. Had he really not been in the bathroom in three days? "Got to get clean," he grunted, twirling the tap. "Got to go back to SRU," he said, pulling the mildewed, plain plastic shower curtain across the tub to avoid the freezing first jet of water. "Got to figure out what the fuck is going on."
Galatea pelted into the bathroom, her rubbery feet squeaking on the cheap linoleum floor as she came to a juddering halt. She started to bounce and clap her hands. With her elasticity and curves, it was like watching an Orion slave girl porn starlet jumping on a trampoline in slow motion. "Shower scene! Shower scene!" she sang after each bounce.
Dee, a mere mortal, ogled the spectacle for a good long while before remembering what language he spoke. "Galatea," he said, "we can't. You're water soluble."