Invasion of the Alien Breeding and Boobfucking Slimeworms: A Parody
Author's note: the story takes place in the same universe as and is a parody of "Invasion of the Carnivorous Alien Worms" by Doc Dweeb. The story is written with his permission...really.
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"It was a late spring day, early evening on a Friday, when people saw what they thought was a shooting star. Little did they know it wasn't a shooting star but a disabled alien space craft. It was passing through the sol system when it experienced a freak catastrophic engine failure..."
Now here's what really happened: that "freak catastrophic engine failure"? Well, the captain had this idiot younger brother. Some genius had the idea to give the idiot his own ship. The captain objected, "But my brother's an idiot."
"Don't worry," they said. "He'll be right behind you," they said. "You can keep two of your eyes on him," they said.
"But I don't want to keep my eyes on him; he's an idiot."
"Just do it," they said.
The captain climbed in his cockpit, muttering, "These guys are geniuses?"
Now, when the captain decided to stop at an obscure planet on the galactic rim to check his navigation, numnutz decided it was a perfect time to put his ship on autopilot, freeing him to attend to a personal matter regarding his very hot first mate.
Unfortunately, he underestimated the effects of her species' orgasmic screams on the windows of the cockpit. One explosive decompression later, Captain Stupid and his First Mate were in deep space, wrapped in eternal bliss.
Fragments from the destroyed cockpit disabled the autopilot, causing the ship to ram itself up the ass of the other. As the ship smashed to earth, the captain's last thoughts turned to his brother, "Blork, you fucking idiot." Then, "Awww shi..."
The results of the crash landing of that ship are told in another story. This story is about the crash landing of the idiot little brother's ship: for you see, that ship's cargo was a single specimen of the dreaded Alien Breeding and Boobfucking Slimeworm.
Here are its vital statistics: mammo-lactovorous; can grow to six feet or more and weigh 200lbs; extremely fertile with an intense libido; can and will mate and impregnate anything.
Alien Breeding and Boobfucking Slimeworms literally drip with mutagens and hormones (hence the interest from alien scientists). Unlike their carnivorous cousins, slimeworms prefer breast milk. Any type will do, so long as it's white and creamy.
Now, thanks to an idiot alien space pilot, this particular alien horndog was roaming the countryside, searching for a porkable female.
*****
Alison Donnelly was nude. She lounged on her new couch, enjoying the feel of its silver velvet against her naked skin. She had no other reason to be nude, other than the hot, humid day; her electric fan was inadequate, her air conditioner broken, and she was in the privacy of her home.
Alison wasn't expecting visitors. She was thirty-four, divorced, and recently broken up with her last boyfriend. Her other friends were at work. Alison was on vacation, preferring to relax at her house for a few days. Her nudity stemmed from a memory of a conversation with one of her friends: "....so I go naked around the apartment," Eunice told her. "I figure, there's no one to see, so why be modest? And if there's a guy I'm dating and I really like him, why not put on a show?"
Alison blushed then; she was reasonably modest, but now, "I can see how this nude thing can be kind of fun."
Alison looked great naked. A beautiful Irish-American MILF, she had a 34B-25-35 figure. Her breasts were small melons tipped with quarter areolae and perky nipples. She was girl-next-door pretty with emerald green eyes and rich dark brown hair, shoulder-length, with red highlights. Her nose was straight; her lips, full and wide.
Alison thought when the sun set and the weather cooled, she would get dressed and head downtown for some action. Right now, the slightly sweaty woman was watching "Ellen".
"This feels really good," she thought, squirming sinuously. "I think I'll do this every time I'm home."
Alison didn't worry about intruders, the advantage of living in a gated community. All the windows of the house were open; even the door to the back yard was wide open.
After rubbing across the couch for a few moments, Alison yawned. While she had a nice night's sleep, the heat and humidity caused another wave of drowsiness. "I'll just close my eyes for a minute or two," she thought.
As she drifted away, Alison abstractedly thought about the shooting star she saw the previous night. "I should have made a wish," she murmured, curling her arm beneath her head.
When the worm tumbled out of the cargo container, it took a few moments to get its bearings. The crash left it uninjured; in fact, the activity increased its horniness.
Slimeworms are born to breed. Ninety-five percent of its existence was geared towards procreation. The next four-point-nine-nine was reserved for breast milk acquisition and point-zero-zero-one percent for vegetables.
After its disorientation passed, the slimeworm set off. It needed to find a female, any female, now! Or it would explode from sexual frustration. It came to a wall, easy to get over; and a dwelling, easy to get in.
Slimeworms are highly sensitive in the smell and touch department. Houses were unknown as a concept, being a simple giant insect and all; but it sensed a living creature within, and had to investigate.
It found the creature lying on a fallen log. Instinctively it knew the creature was porkable. The creature looked similar to the primates on its home planet; a bit larger, and less hair, except on its head and a little between its legs, but the body structure indicated female (parallel evolution and all that; the primates on the home planet were little more than monkeys).
Approaching the log, the slimeworm saw that the primate's legs were spread, revealing a moist pink slit between the dark brown fur; yes! A porkable primate!