She looked at the clinic in the rear view mirror, she couldn't go through with it. It disappeared in the distance. She felt like she was going to be sick. She pulled the rental car to the side of the road... she was too embarrassed of her destination to have a cab drive her there. She pushed her blonde hair out of her face as the tears started to began to fall. This was unplanned in every form of the word but she was the only one that had to deal with it. It was then that she made the decision: if he wasn't going to be happy with her, he wouldn't be happy at all.
-Keegan-
Whenever I woke up in the mornings, I had no expectations of seeing Raven until a little after dusk. When I had no expectations, I didn't feel as bad when I woke up alone. It had already been over a month and I had gotten used to my new schedule: I would wake up in the mornings long enough to eat something and work on Aspen Emery. I would shower and fall asleep on the couch watching a random T.V. show. I would usually sleep until after dusk when Raven would be coming through the door on my balcony, fangs extended, and prepared to feed. I couldn't say this new schedule disagreed with me... it wasn't as if I used to have sun kissed skin and now I was deathly pale. I always had pale skin and I feel just as good now as I would if I always lead this sort of lifestyle.
Some nights, we wouldn't go anywhere. We would just stay in bed and explore each other's bodies until she was forced by near sunrise to leave me again. Others, on nights she was particularly hungry, I would accompany her on a hunt. I would watch as she singled out a person in the crowd by listening to his thoughts. I never saw her kill a woman. The first time I watched her feed, it scared the hell out of me. It reminded me how fragile my life was to her as I watched her take the life of someone twice my size as if it required no effort. Regardless of what kind of night it would be, she would always come to me first and that's the way I liked it.
There were still a few hours until Raven would come and I was getting antsy. I woke up a lot earlier than I planned and had already done my usual duties... the wait for her to get here was going to be excruciating. While I ate and watched 300 on HBO, my cell began to vibrate. It was Jenna. I braced myself for the absolute ass-chewing I was about to be subjected to. I haven't been to The Riff in almost over a month and I was sure she was taking it personal. I answered the phone:
"Hello?" I said into the phone, wincing.
"Hi, Stranger... Long time, no talk," she said. It almost sounded as if she were smiling.
"Yeah... I know... been busy you know? How have you been?" I said trying to figure out exactly what she wanted.
"Pregnant," she replied rather casually.
My heart jumped into my throat and my throat went painfully dry. I felt like I was going to fucking die. "Wha-? How di-? Is it-?" I began so many sentences but I couldn't bring myself to finish any of them. After awhile, I managed to get one word out: "Pregnant?"
"Yes, Keegan, pregnant and before you ask: yes, it's your's. I took a pregnancy test last week and it was positive. I went this morning to get an abortion but I couldn't go through with it. I figured that I would call you up one more time to see if you wanted to reconsider our relationship with each other... for the sake of our child," she said softly, traces of hope laced in her voice.
I knew firsthand what it was like to be without a father and it fucking sucked ... I also knew how bad it could turn out for the kid if I only halfway cared for its mother, like my father only halfway cared for my mother. I saw what Jenna was trying to do and it made sense. but I was not going to be my father.
"Jenna... if you ever need anything for the baby, anything at all I'll always be here, but I'm not going to reconsider our relationship. I would be lying to both of us and it would be unfair to you for me to lead you on only to leave you later like my dad did my mom. I'm sorry I got you into this but I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make it right and be a good father," I said, feeling the words flow out of me without any difficulty.
"Fine, Keegan. Have it your way," she said just before she hung up on me.
Regardless of her pissy attitude, I was borderline elated from the news I received. I had always wanted kids and I was sure that Aspen and I would have a houseful. Obviously, that didn't go like I planned. I wondered what my kid was gonna look like, who's eyes it'd have and whatnot. I was deeply in baby bliss when Raven walked into my living room.
"Hey, Beautiful," I said as I walked over and wrapped her into a tight hug.
"Hello... is there something you want to tell me?" she said, though I was 100% sure she had already heard it in my thoughts.
"Jenna's pregnant," I said, scared to see what her reaction would be like.
"Do you want me to kill her?" she said blandly.
I opened and closed my mouth, unable to register what she had asked me. Here I am: fucking enthused that I'm gonna be a dad, and my girlfriend asks me if I want her to kill the woman that's incubating my seed. "What? No! Raven, I do not want you to kill Jenna!" I said in a tone that was low and serious, so she knew that I wasn't kidding. She nodded, turned her back to me, and began to walk away. "Where are you going?" I asked as she exited the living room. "To feed...alone," she said quietly, "I need time to think."
When she left me alone, I immediately felt the distance...I felt my heart sink. All the euphoric, paternal thoughts I was having seemed to evaporate when she walked away from me. I hoped she wasn't going to leave me for good. I didn't know what I could do or say to make her feel better. I didn't fucking ask for any of this and if it wasn't for her disappearing on me, none of this would have ever happened. Obviously, she was dealing with her own demons and unlike her, I didn't have luxury of interfering in her thoughts to see exactly what her fucking problem was.
-Raven-
When I left his apartment, I was unsure of my next move. There he was: telling me that he was getting the one thing that I could never give him from another woman. What was I supposed to say: 'Congratulations'? I heard his thoughts as soon as I got to his balcony: 'I'm gonna be a dad! I'm going to be someone's father!' I could not tell at that time if he was actually shouting or if I was hearing his thoughts. When I heard this, I did not know what to expect when I walked in... I did not know if he was going to leave me for her or not. Though, I halfway expected it.
I knew this day would come, this is why I distanced myself in the first place. I knew that regardless of what he thought at the moment, eventually he will want to move on to the next level... a level that he would never be able to reach with me. Sure, I could marry him, but with him being a simple mortal, a union for eternity would be swift with him.
I was no fool, I knew that I brought this upon myself, if I was not so stuck on 'staying true to my plan' and took him back before he got with the bitch, I would not be having to decide how to deal with being the 'vampire stepmother'.
I shook my problems from my head and walked down the quiet street. Someone was following me and he was without a doubt going to be my next meal... Pretending not to hear the footsteps was extremely painful, though it was always funny for humans to think they could sneak up on me. Before long, I felt hands cover my mouth and a knife press against my throat. "If you want to live, you will stay quiet and give me some of that pussy. If you don't keep quiet, I'll fucking kill you and take it anyway," he growled into my ear pressing his erection against my ass. Ugh, fucking necrophiliac,' I thought, rolling my eyes. I nodded, using artificial fear.
He pushed me into an alley and up against the wall... he continued to use his knife as a scare tactic, keeping it against my throat . "What the fuck is a hot little piece of ass like you doing walking around in the middle of the night by yourself? Not smart, Honey... there's bad men out at this time of night. Bad men that want nothing more than to be balls-deep in the pussy of a dumb bitch like you who's out all by herself," he said, without a doubt trying to scare me.
"Really?" I said with a smile, "Bad men like you?"
"Yeah... bad men like me," he said with a nod, his eyes rolling over my body making me feel absolutely disgusting.
"Well, what if I was out looking for a bad man that was out looking for a girl like me?" I said with a smile.
