On this rainy autumn morning, while Pearl was sitting on the living room couch and folding laundry, Darren approached her with something gleaming in his pretty ice blue eyes. He'd decided to stay home, which meant that Pearl was already planning out a fresh lunch for him. There was some frozen, packaged ground beef thawing out in the sink, partially submerged in warm water.
"Hi," Pearl said as she folded a wash cloth on her lap. "What can I do for you?"
He bent down a and held a small piece of paper out to her. "I got you a present."
"Oh, you didn't have to!" She smiled and took the paper. It was a free pass for a tour at his wildlife preserve. "I've never been to one of these places before, never even been to a zoo. Is there a certain type of clothing I need to wear?"
"Don't wear heels. Get a pair of comfy sneakers."
Pearl shrugged. "I haven't worn heels in eight years." She put the pass in her pocket and then got up. Grinning, she actually stretched her arms out in a nearly universal symbol for hugging, and she said, "Thank you so much!" Her arms went around the great man's torso.
"Well you're welcome, Little Girl!" Darren patted her back. She didn't hate being called a Little Girl. Maybe she should've, but she honesty couldn't find the hate. "I was worried you wouldn't like it. You don't seem like the outdoorsy type."
Letting him go, sitting back down, Pearl said, "I do love learning about nature and animals. Why did you give the pass to me? Did you think it was my birthday?"
"Nah." He went over to his recliner and got comfortable in it. "I wanted to show off how cool I am."
"The cool kids never care about being cool." Pearl went back to the folding. "Did you just feel like being nice?"
Darren picked up a remote control. "Sure, why not? You're my friend."
"Well that's sweet," Pearl said as she put a neat stack of cloth in the laundry basket. "If I'm your friend, then you have to be mine too."
"Deal."
Pearl hooked her fingers under the basket's handles and smiled.
She chose a sunny Saturday to visit the wildlife preserve. Dogflower Nature Center. The entrance was fairly utilitarian but the welcoming sign was charming enough. At least the script wasn't in Comic Sans. The pathways and bridges that guests traveled on were typically bordered by different types of fences.
For an extra fee, one would be driven around on golf carts by an employee. It seemed that Pearl's pass included the ride. She went up to where the carts were, and she found that a large group of students, along with teacher chaperones, were being set up. They seemed to be from a high school.
Pearl waited until she believed all the students were settled in the carts. Then she walked up to an employee and asked to be put in an empty one. This employee, a man with a bit of a beer belly, told her it would be easier if she sat with the students.
"Oh no," she said with a firm shake of the head. "I shouldn't be riding with them. I should be by myself."
Rolling his eyes, which rustled Pearl a bit, the man said, "Look, you really shouldn't act like you're special."
Pearl wanted to pull the "I know the owner" act but she thought that would be too embarrassing. Instead, she folded her arms and insisted on being given a cart separate from the students. "I know I don't look like it," she said, "but I'm almost thirty years old, and I have nothing to do with any of those students. If I sit on the same carts they are, then someone will think I'm a student. It wouldn't be the first time something like that happened."
An employee who seemed to have a slightly more authoritative uniform stepped in and said, "Yes, Ma'am. We'll do that for you, but could you please show us your ID so we know you aren't one of the students? We don't want to be held responsible if you do turn out to be a student and you sneak away from your teachers."
Pearl didn't have a purse. She'd thought it wouldn't have been a practical accessory. Instead, she had a small leather backpack. Inside were the essentials. She took her wallet from this backpack and fished out her ID. Within fifteen seconds she was given the ID back and an empty cart was pulled out for her.
The route she rode on was different from what the high school group took, although they crossed paths sometimes. The fresh air was slightly cool, but pleasant. Pearl's long sleeved shirt was perfectly fine, although she had a flannel shirt tied around her waist. The driver was easy to listen to. Everything was lovely. She saw beautiful flowers, water full of fish, and quite a few other creatures. Rabbits, squirrels, birds, even some far off bears and wildcats.
At the end of the tour, she was taken off to an area close to the exit gate, and the gift shop was right there. Inside, she saw the students and teachers. Normally, Pearl would've waited for them leave, but she felt that she'd already been reasonable enough. She wanted a souvenir and she didn't want to wait what could be a full hour or more for the students to leave.
Careful not to knock herself into anyone, and very careful not to fall onto shelves and damage the overpriced goods, Pearl went around in search of a T-Shirt or a key-chain. Her stomach growled, and she thought she should eat soon. Her mood could get incredibly crabby when she was hungry, but many people were like that.
One purchase of a shirt later, her prize folded up in her backpack, Pearl went to the shop's exit. She was just outside the building when a strange man's voice burst out in her direction. "Where do you think you're going?!"
Flinching, Pearl stopped in her tracks and turned around. A somewhat chubby man with a beard and a balding head marched on over to her. "Come back here right now!" His face was a little pink. He might've been irritated with something else that had happened to him.
"Excuse me?" Pearl retreated a little, switching her backpack to her chest, putting it on backwards. "What's the problem?"
He pointed down at her with a slightly quivering finger. "Get back in the shop! You can't just walk off like that!"
Pearl's eyelids narrowed. Her calf and thigh muscles tensed. "Excuse me? Why do you think you can talk to me like that? Do you think I'm one of those kids?"
His hand flew up in a very impatient gesture. "No way. I'm not listening to that. Get back over here."
He tried to get close to her, but Pearl retreated even more, and she reached into her backpack. "I can show you my ID. That way, you'll know I'm not a student."
"I'm not interested in your fake ID. This isn't a bar, now move!"
He tried to grab at her.
He missed.
The truth was this: most people in the world are sane, thoughtful, and fairly innocuous. But Pearl believed that something about her appearance attracted a good portion of two different kinds of people. One, the type of person that wants to protect her. Two, the type of person that thinks they can get away with treating her poorly because they thought she was weak.
Okay, in all fairness, Pearl knew she was pretty weak.
But that didn't mean she was the type to easily put up with bullshit.
Instead of her wallet, she pulled out a pocket-knife, ready to stab anybody. She held it out and screamed for him to get away from her.
No way in fucking hell was she going to let a strange man drag her off somewhere, not even to a school bus.
Several people, mostly students cuddled up to the gift shop's windows to watch the scene. Another teacher, a slightly older woman, ran outside and hollered out, "What's going on?!" An employee did pretty much the same thing.
The chubby man, likely a teacher, he stuttered, then he pulled a phone out of his pocket. As he dialed, the older teacher turned to Pearl and asked in a frightened tone, "Why do you have that knife?!"
"BECAUSE I'M NINETY-FIVE POUNDS WHEN WET AND I DON'T WANT TO BE FUCKING KIDNAPPED!!" Yep. Pearl was in rage mode again. She didn't take her eyes off the chubby teacher. "GO ON AND CALL THE COPS, DUMBASS!!"
"WOAH!! WOAH!! LET'S CALM DOWN!!"
Pearl let her eyes slide to see who that was.
Darren Booker was running towards the scene. He was wearing a uniform-like T-Shirt with the name of the preserve printed on it. Pearl lowered her voice a little, but she was still technically shouting. "This guy tried to grab me when I said I wasn't a student!"
"You can't have a knife!" The chubby man's face was now red. "You'll be expelled!" Then, he seemed to get through to someone on his phone. "Hello? Yes, I'm a teacher from ..."
Darren walked right up to that chubby teacher, his full height clearly making the teacher look that much smaller, and he pointed back at Pearl. "I know for a fact that woman is NOT one of your students! She's my god damn housekeeper! I invited her here! She's old enough to smoke, drink, join the military and get fucked on a kitchen counter!! I'm calling your fucking school!"
Both the teachers' jaws dropped. Pearl finally felt safe enough to put her knife away. She noticed the students were visibly shocked ... and amused. Some were laughing and banging their palms on the windows.
A few hours later, the situation had been resolved, and Pearl was sitting at a Bojangles restaurant. Across from her, Darren tried his best to get comfortable in a plastic booth. At least he didn't have to balance himself on a stool.
He'd insisted on taking her out to dinner as an apology for all that ridiculousness, even though he wasn't the cause. Pearl had insisted on something low cost. And that was pretty much why she was eating a spicy chicken sandwich with a sliced buttery biscuit instead of a bun. Darren had the same thing. Also, two bowls of that spicy rice stiff with sausage bits. It seemed that even the most educated on exercise and nutrition still had fast food every once in a while.
"Does that kind of stupid mess happen a lot?" he asked.
After a quick sip of cold sweet tea, Pearl answered, "Not all the time, but it has happened before. Usually it's all taken care of real quick. 'Sorry, I'm not a student. Sorry, I'm not a teenager.' Stuff like that. It's good that I'm not a sub teacher. I'd be walking into trouble every work day."
"I bet it would be hard to get some snotty brats to respect you when you look younger than them."
Pearl nodded. "Yeah. I've had people tell me it's creepy if someone tries to date me."
An eyebrow rising, Darren tapped his straw with a fingertip. "Why's that creepy?"
"I dunno. They usually say something about how it's creepy for someone to date me because I look young, and that would mean anyone who dates me is automatically a pedophile." Stabbing her rice with a black spork, Pearl made a sucking noise with her tongue against her teeth.
"But according to that logic," she continued, "I'd only be allowed to date minors, which would make me the pervert instead. It's so stupid. My looks shouldn't deny me the right to do adult things, and no adult should feel guilty for doing adult things with another adult, no matter how that adult looks."
He only chuckled at that.
A few days went on after that incident. They were very peaceful.
