I Love Luci

Chapter Three: The Wilder Side

Gwendolyn

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I was staring at my own face in the phone. I had been out shopping when an alarm I didn't remember setting went off, and the timer was titled "Check Videos". I knew it was me but not. I had apparently left myself a recording but... I didn't remember doing so. Because, let's be honest... those weren't my eyes. They were... cold. I could always feel her in the back of my mind. More often than not, I only ever felt myself slide to the back of my mind when something bad was happening. It felt like... I literally got moved to the backseat of a car doing 90 as someone with more driving experience took the wheel.

Sometimes it was like going to sleep and I just didn't dream... those were rare, thankfully, which is why when I thought about the possibility that something was clinically wrong with me, it was easy to dismiss. Don't crazy people ALWAYS black out? Didn't the "real" person live in complete cluelessness as to the actions of their alternates? I knew better than to rely on Hollywood to tell me anything of value, but still... there had to be some truth to it, right? I was just paranoid and insane in a different way.

Insane. Like dreaming about having sex with a whole eclectic pantheon of deities... dreams so real, I have woken up naked and dripping and not know how the former happened, but only too aware of how the latter occurred.

The video was just a reminder that I had to pick up my daughter that day but she was staying after school for her drama club and I didn't need to be there until after five.

Speaking of said delusions, I thought as I gathered my purchases and headed to my car. I was due for one any day. You'd think as a witch, I'd be better at knowing the lunar cycle dates, but if truth was told, even I would admit I was a shitty witch. Whatever the pagan equivalent of a lapsed Catholic was, I fell pretty squarely into that group. Sure, I made sure I always celebrated Samhain, Yule and Beltane and Ostara... But if you asked me about the lesser known holidays, I was lucky if I managed to remember them on the day they happened, much less plan for then ahead of time!

I was placing the shopping bags in the trunk of my car, when his voice spoke mere feet from me. "You know, I am truly not certain which I like best..." His voice was like a caress down my spine and I nearly hit my head on the door of the trunk as I abruptly jumped and straightened up, startled and turned to face him.

My mind was in chaos. It was one thing, to see him in my room where I could just tell myself it was a dream, all my wild imagination. It was another, standing in the fading daylight, in the middle of a strip mall, beside my car... when I was certain I was wide awake. But my brain just couldn't compute.

"I was very fond of your Priestess image. Enchanted... pun painfully intended... watching you as the quaint solitary witch. But watching you doing chores so pedestrian as shopping... watching you be the good wife and mother..." His tone was jovial, but his words made me feel like someone flipped a switch in me. I knew it wasn't my voice that hissed in warning: "Don't you dare bring my family into this."

He held his hands up in a show of surrender and he looked truly surprised. I felt that... sliding feel. Like I was in the backseat again, a mere passenger in my own skin. "We have a compact that stipulates you have zero interference with me and mine." I didn't even recall formulating the thought before the words passed my traitorous mouth.

He was using the fair haired, blue eyed form again, the one that reminded me of what the comic book character would look like had he been a flesh and blood man.

"We have an accord that I may watch you whenever I like and may only interfere with *you* one night a month," he corrected.

*If he expects us to be embarrassed at the idea of him watching us, he's in for one hell of a shocker!* said that other voice in my head. I tried to focus as I silently questioned my own sanity. I rolled my eyes heavenward, and instead said in a bored tone: "Glad we are clear on that, then. I'm going home."

"Evangeline." I felt a shaft of ice coat my spine and I turned to look at him, slowly. My heart was pounding in my chest like a jackhammer. He knew. He knew and I couldn't speak for a moment, until The

Other Me spoke for us:

"...how did you know? No one ever knows when it's me." Her voice sounded small, I thought. Wait... her? Or me? I still felt like an observer, but it was rare that my delusions were ever this clear. "Our daughter never knows it's me... sometimes my husband doesn't. Our husband," my voice corrected, absentmindedly.

This isn't real, this isn't real! If I screamed it to myself over and I over, that I might yet will it to be true. But I wasn't sure what truth I was denying. He wasn't real? Or... the feeling that I wasn't controlling my own body wasn't?

His hand cradled my face and he searched my eyes. "She fights. I can see you both." How did he know this? It was... my secret, this insanity. How can he know? "You hide yourself well, Evangeline. You do. But those you fool cannot see your mind... and it literally is different."

Not true!! Not *fucking* REAL! I felt like I was screaming if into the void. But I was-

"She's panicked," my mouth said.

"Yes." His thumb was caressing my cheek and I felt my will dissolve with each caress. "Can you maintain control?" He asked softly.

"I don't have a choice" my voice quavered and felt my body respond to his question, but I didn't understand why that question made me so wet... if it was all delusion... "If she calms down," I whispered. "I may lose control. If we think too much alike... It just happens."

"Then we make sure that our activities tonight reflect your appetite ...yours and yours alone," his breath across my ear, neck and nape made me shiver and whimper a little and I felt the tenuous grasp I had on myself slip away. I fell into darkness.

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Evangeline

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I gathered my resolve, refusing to be so weak as to just... melt into his embrace. I took a step back and looked him squarely in the eye, determined he understand our "arrangement" did not grant him a voiceless supplicant who would silently slake his hungers without protest.

"So, is this what I should expect? Because if you're gong to randomly appear, and you aren't a hallucination, I *am* going to have to explain to my husband why I suddenly have a date with someone he has never met," I said, arching a brow at the fallen angel. I knew I should be far more careful... but it was *her* stupidity that got us in this situation, honestly. Then again, while she might have a problem being beholden to this guy, all I could see was guaranteed mind-meltingly intense sex at least one night a month. Oh, I should be careful, sure... but damned if I didn't love fucking him. Still, it unsettled me that he saw me and spoke to me as a real person. I sometimes doubt if I am real. I mean, I know my purpose, I know why I exist. But I don't feel like some... imaginary entity that a broken mind came up with in its worst moments of terror. I felt like... a person.

Ugh! I all but slapped myself for getting so fucking sentimental over this guy. Guy! Fuck, he wasn't even human. And we were crazy, in-fucking-DEED if we were going to fall for such disarming charm! Did we have good luck with bad boys? I demanded of us both. No, ma'am, we did fucking NOT! And this dude was the ULTIMATE bad boy! Like, the o-fucking-riginal!

"I can hear you, you know," he said dryly glancing at me as I closed the trunk of the car.

"Well, if you're going to spy, don't be shocked when you find out shit you didn't want to know!" I burst out, irritated. "And answer the damn question!"

He parted the small distance between us, took my fingers lightly in his and kissed the knuckles caressingly, then gave a teasing flick of his tongue between the sensitive aperture where my index and middle finger joined. I tried to keep my face impassive. But I could almost feel that tongue between my legs, as if my hand was some magical surrogate for my whole body, shocking me and causing me to press my thighs together, as if I could stop the sensations. His eyes danced with unadulterated heat and his lips curled in a small, satisfied smile. A knowing smile. A smile full of sinful promises.

"I never make promises I don't intend to keep," he said seriously. "So I cannot say it will never happen again." My expression had to convey my less than stellar opinion of this comment. "But I can promise for this month, at least, if you'd prefer a midnight rendezvous, I can do that." He searched my eyes again and he looked slightly concerned. "But I do worry if I let you go now, I will lose YOU, Evangeline, before the night has even begun."

I walked to the driver's side door with a slight toss of my red hair and regarded him for a moment. "If you want me again... I trust you'll know how to find me." I didn't even glance at him again as I slipped behind the driver's seat and turned the key in the ignition, trying to sort through a tangle of emotions that were not truly my own. I didn't wait for him to answer and when I looked into the rear view mirror at the spot where he had been, he was gone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Holding on through dinner was hard. I generally don't bother myself with the family. Gwen handles domestic life and I let her. Ever since Gwen had gotten pregnant, I had intentionally taken the back seat. I was nobody's mother. But... then the kid was hurt once... it propelled me to the surface with a vengeance.

I should have resented my need to protect her. I was her mother's protector after all. But it was instinctual. And for once, Gwen and I were in perfect accord. No one touches our baby. Period. And I found I had begun thinking of the rug rat as mine, also. But I mostly let Gwen handle the parenting. She's far better suited to it, all warm and gentle and affectionate.

The kid is cute, I have to admit. She is just getting to those rebellious teen years where I just know my patience will be well and truly tested. And either I will be impressed and quietly proud of the hellspawn before me, or debating the finer points of filicide. Either way, despite my limited interactions with the family, I had to admit, the kiddo was finally getting interesting.

Acting like Gwen and letting Gwen be in the driver's seat where two different things. Either would have the same result, after a time. She would naturally take over and I would recede to "the back seat" as she called it. Ever able to watch her live our lives, but unable to directly interfere unless something tipped one of Gwen's triggers and propelled me forward to take the helm while she curled up and slept in whatever safe-space in our mind she resided in when she wasn't a tangle in my perceptions.

I knew it wasn't perfect because my husband kept looking at me quizzically and asking what was wrong... had I taken my medication today? He meant the stuff for our depression. I was never sure if or how it impacted me... but I could acknowledge I spent a fair more amount of time in "the back" now than before she started taking all of that. If it wasn't so helpful to Gwen, I'd chuck the devious little pills. But... in the end... as much as I resented her sometimes, protecting her was literally all I was for. And she needed me. Didn't she?

I admit I was completely lust ridden with want by the time for bed arrived. I contemplated molesting the husband for some release from the gripping desire that was seizing me. But I could see in on his face he had had a long day, and consoled myself with the fact that I had a date with an angel.

Once there had been a time when I would have tried to coax the hubby to fuck me, aggressively demand his attention, but I had learned over the years that if he was offered my body and he just wasn't "in the mood", peace was maintained far better than if I made an issue of it. He knew it was me when I did that, besides... his sweetheart of a wife was lusty and adventurous, sure. Never aggressive.

The thing of it that sucked most was... he was *good* in bed. When he was in the right mindset, I wanted nothing more than to make him moan and writhe and ask him to return the favor. His hands were magic, I couldn't deny. His mouth... heaven. He was exactly what Gwen needed... he and I... well, I cared about him. Got on well with him when he was in "the mood". He could be devastatingly sexy when he wanted. His brown eyes blazed with want, and he loved to tease and knew my body so well that he could make me collapse into orgasm in a matter of minutes. But... we were lucky if we saw that side of him once a week, at most.

This was the only place of issue and dissension. But he allowed us some freedom. We had dated outside of the marriage... well, "we" as in me and Gwen. He didn't indulge, and I had to admit a certain relief for that. It wasn't that I begrudged him the same freedom he afforded me. It was just... I wanted him all of the time. WE did, Gwen and I. But my ideas of playing rarely echoed his. He didn't really have any fantasies to be catered to, or fetishes, or even solid turn-ons I could exploit. I didn't... excite him. Gwen did. Her passionate innocence, her unreserved gift for emotion and love, that spoke to him. I was literally a third wheel.

I rather had the impression over the years that I... was something he tolerated to keep Gwen. Like the step child in a dysfunctional family. That we were insatiable had always been been the biggest problem. He just... wasn't interested in what I was. He saw to our immediate needs, and was essential for Gwen's survival, which in turn, made him essential to me. But I, frequently was left feeling... desperate. Unwanted. Untouched.

Still, I had fond memories of being aggressive with him to the point of almost being forceful and in the blink of an eye, he had me on my back, a hand around my throat, a snarl on his lips and a dangerous gleam in his eyes as he told me "No". It was that moment when I realized there was a darkness in him that he kept very close to the chest. And that was the moment he made my heart begin to melt, to believe he was strong enough of character to be a solid mate. But for all the desires I had that he knew were more mine than Gwen's; to have a little pain in my pleasure, to have control, yet to be controlled... to have the teeth and the claws and the heat... while he did try every now and again to see to those... they were mostly ignored for vanilla, mundane alternatives that satisfied only then softer half of me... of us.

When the soft sound of his breathing changed to tell me he had passed into the arms of Morpheus, I settled into our bed, debating if I ought to sleep or just...

*Sleep. I will find you.*

If I wasn't so used to voices in my head, I might have been startled. Though unsettling to me to have that smooth tenor in my mind, it seemed pointless to question it. While I wasn't as unyielding as Gwen about the possibility this was truly all in our mind, it seemed perfectly logical to obey. I mean, if it was a delusion, sleep was always good. And if it wasn't, it probably didn't matter what I did, anyways. So I might as well catch some Z's.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You follow orders well."

I didn't even startle when I opened my eyes and found myself standing in a well-appointed suite. It reminded me of a mix between a gothic bed and breakfast and the "red room" from a certain series of adult novels that had recently made their way into the movies.

"I reasoned that if you were just another crazy voice in my head, sleep would shut you up," I responded coolly, and arched a brow in his direction.

"And if I was more than that?" He asked, moving towards me. He was beautiful. It made Gwen uncomfortable... it made me just want to see him naked and under me. I raised my eyes to meet his, having to lift my chin as I was easily a good foot shorter than he was, as I barely cleared 5 foot one. He smiled down at me, a slow, lascivious smirk, as he drew me forward into his arms.

"If you were more than a fantasy?" My voice was already breathy with the sudden escalation of my heart beat. "Then it was pointless to fight."

"Good answer." It was a low, almost bass growl rising from his chest and I confess, it made me squirm. His hand wrapped itself in my hair, pulling me against him as he lowered his mouth. I had thought he would kiss me, but instead he laved his tongue along my lips, across the hollow of my throat and set his teeth on the side of my neck, nipping, licking and finally biting hard enough to leave an impression of his bite on my skin. It should have hurt, but it simply read to my lust-fogged brain as a pleasure so sharp, it caused me to cling to him and whimper. After a moment, he paused, with his forehead pressed to mine and I could actually hear his breathing had changed and his face seemed lined with regret that he had stopped his feral assault on my neck.

"Why did you stop?" I whispered.

"I promised not to hurt you. And I don't want to lose you tonight." He stroked a thumb over my full bottom lip and searched my eyes. I felt well and truly alone for once. Gwen was, for all intents and purposes, sleeping. "I want to take you," he said with no hint of embarrassment or shame, which truly should not have surprised me. "I want to use you, overwhelm you... own you."

My internal reaction was mixed. On one hand, that sounded delicious. On the other, his words immediately sparked the desire to tear into him and tell him no one owned me. And I understood his purpose. Gwen loved to follow commands, to perform as the hedonistic submissive she was. While I appreciated the game, my instinct was always to rebel. To fight. To take control.

"No one will ever own *me*," I warned him in a low voice.

He smiled softly, as though merely humoring me, and led me to the bed. I didn't resist, but I was on my guard. "No one? Seems a pity. I am sure we can discuss that another time, however." He gestured for me to sit on the bed and he then moved to the door, as if anticipating the sharp knock before it had even occurred.

A woman was there, nude with the exception of a red leather collar on her throat. I watched with great interest as Lucifer led her to stand before me.

"And this is?" I asked, unable to stop my eyes from wondering down her full, fit figure. I had a moment of feminine worry and envy... she was... *stunning*. Gorgeous cafe au lait colored skin, a mane of dark hair that fell in waves to her tapered waist. She had lush, feminine curves but a toned belly that made me feel uncomfortably out of place. She was so beautiful... her entire body radiated want and need. But it wasn't until she dropped to her knees before me that my eyes lifted to Lucifer. He had sank into an elegant wingback chair on the edge of the room and he was currently taking a sip of wine, something deep and red, his eyes on us, barely blinking.

"Evangeline, meet Vivienne... she owed me a favor." He winked at my eye roll with a smirk. Then, his tone changed, became... firmer, as he then said: "Vivienne, this is Evangeline... but tonight you shall refer to her as 'Mistress'." I felt a little light headed. Something I liked that Gwen didn't? Yes... yes, this was very much in that tiny area. "Vivienne is my gift to you tonight, little seductress. Enjoy her."

It was a long moment before I looked down at the woman and said softly, but firmly: "Look at me."

"Yes Mistress." Her eyes were a beautiful shade of hazel which contrasted so elegantly with the smooth, soft skin of her bronzed cheek. Her eyes were clear, direct and honest. And so full of lust.

"What do YOU want?" I asked and I regarded her with a clear mind and eyes, prepared for whatever her answer might be. I wasn't prepared for the truth.