I've never enjoyed the heat. My mind lags and lulls and there's no reprieve in the stiff air. I am repulsed by the saccharine fruits that ripen in the summer, choosing instead to suck on half melted ice cubes, letting the thin trickle subdue the discomfort of the day.
The sun, piercingly bright, finally set on the day and the night drones on and on and has ended in an anticlimactic night of fitful sleep, where sticky sheets suffocatingly cling to my body. I doze in and out of sleep for hours after the sun sets. The air conditioner buzzing like a deafening cricket in my windowsill.
My body heaves awake, and is still goose fleshed from some disturbance I was not wholly aware of in my sleep when I move to turn the idle lamp on that sits by itself on a nightstand beside my bed. I reach across the breathless void to find the pull chain. The night is stifling warm, and despite the humidity, my mouth is dry, I have the urge to lick the sweat from my arm to wet my tongue.
An ache forms behind my eyes and I squint them closed against the burst of a dull headache. The air is so thick it feels like swimming when I push the covers off my bare legs. I sit up and rest my eyes in the palms of my hands. A plague of wicked thoughts run through my mind. What woke me? It could have been anything. How powerless and hopeless we are in our sleep.
I push myself back down into my sweat-damp pillow and keep my eyes closed against the lamp light. It feels late, but not so late that it is early. I sigh, and my breath doesn't move throughout the room. Instead it falls short and is lost in the quiet night. I blink open my eyes and peer through the blur of sleep at the clock on the wall adjacent to my bed. 12:34.
I've only been asleep for thirty minutes. My whole body is hazy and worthless. I turn the lamp off, and am immediately greeted with a darkness that feels greedy. Across my room, through a small window is a silver guess of a moon. A simple grin of silver light and not much else reaches through the darkness. I breathe deeply to calm my nervous thoughts, and will myself back to sleep. I feel my body drop effortlessly into the numbness of sleep, and my mind quiets until I catch myself in a dream.
I am standing naked in an empty room. The room is lightless. Motionless. Void of comfort, the air is sticky and thick. Breathing is pulling syrup into my lungs. My eyes confuse themselves in frantic searching, there is nothing to focus on. Not only is there silence, but the room absorbs sound quickly and carries it away. I try to speak but the words are pushed far beneath my tongue. I am aware that I am being made to wait. Hours pass and my eyes feel heavy and my body is rigid in the stifling heat. A draft of air trickles into the room. As if a door is quietly opened and someone has swiftly entered.
My body becomes alert. The bits of hair on my neck stand and seem to shiver themselves. My shoulders jerk quickly as if being jolted awake by the welcomed cool air. My belly is trembling beneath prickled flesh. My nipples tingle. I feel a cool touch on the backs of my hands, it moves to encase both my wrists, icy formless fingers gripping my arms and moving them behind my back. A graze along my spine, the same icy touch, buckles my knees. Before I fall, a glacial grip on my waist steadies me. I feel hands, frost fingers moving across my body, prodding my fevered body. In my hair are hands made of ice, melting when they touch me, and dripping in cave-water cold drops along my body. The water clings to my nipples briefly, keeping them erect, before falling into a pool around my feet.
My legs are slowly parted by unseen hands, delicate fingers motioning my knees spread apart. I am intensely aware of the warmth between my legs in striking juxtaposition to the frigid embrace my body is feeling. The hands move in every direction, pressing against the back of my thighs and holding my chin as icicles are pressed against my lips where they melt and I swallow the cold. It radiates in me. Glazing my body in hiemal chills. All of my body except the place I want it most.