I remember that night; I slept the way I used to be. I said my prayers every night ever since I was a child. I have always been a good, and an obedient child, that I'd never given my parents any worries or have caused them troubles. I was always thought of as the good one, that my thoughts were always pure. You see, I've been in an all-girls Catholic school almost all my life that I always had this 'Catholic guilt'. I believed that bad people go to hell, and that good people go to heaven. I used to know the Bible from the heart.
I was standing in the middle of my bedroom. The lights were strangely dimmed, and my room seemed wide and yet the same. I was naked, and there, I seemed older, an adult that reached her peak as a woman, with long black hair flowing through my smooth, bare back. I was looking at a man standing a few steps from me; the glass door of my verandah was slid open, the curtain billowing from the cold breeze of the night.
It was strange how I could see everything from my body and feel as if I was somewhere else in the room too, like another part of me was present. It gave me a third person perspective, and at the same time trapped in this body, that seemed to be my future self.
The man standing there was staring at me. I remember his eyes to be dark and beautiful, but the memory of it had left as soon as I woke up. Something in my mind told me that he was The Devil himself. At that instant, I could feel his presence, his darkness, but I wasn't afraid. Rather, I was attracted to him. My instinct told me that I was the one who let him in my room. I could tell that he came from the veranda, from the way he stood beside the glass door, his tall frame spoke of danger and lust. I desired this creature.
I could feel his breath even from the distance. His mouth curled in an insolent smile. His hair was dark; he had a tan, well-toned body with long limbs, the kind of man I wanted from my dreams. It was as if he made himself the way I wanted him to be. Suddenly, I found myself in his arms, I wasn't sure if I glided or he did, but I was in his arms, his breath mixed with the smell of his masculine scent. My heart was beating faster. I felt excitement and desire; something that I wasn't aware of, something that I thought was forbidden, something that was against all what I've always believed in.
His body enveloped me in a heat of passion; it was as if his arms became a cape that drew me closer to him, closer that made me even more breathless. I relinquished the thought that he may do me harm, it didn't matter what he was; I found him dangerously irresistible. I was elated that something dark and powerful wanted me. I know it was foolish, but I've never experienced being wanted as a woman before, the wonders that these sensations can do, the power of lust and desire that I can inflict and be inflicted upon was new to me. I was delirious with the new found power that I have but was never conscious of.
