Seeing that I only had five minutes to finish getting ready before I needed to leave for class, I quickly pulled a comb through my hair, put on some eye liner, deodorant, and perfume, and finished getting dressed. After packing myself a water bottle and locking the door I headed to class. Sitting through Genetics lecture was a bore and I found myself daydreaming. Specifically, I was fantasizing about some strong and mysterious man coming and taking me away. This is how I made it through most of my days. Not that my life is completely boring, but being a biology major most of my time is taken up by classes, labs, and studying. I have a few close friends but really haven't had much experience with men. Growing up I had always been the shy overweight girl that everyone thought was nice but no one wanted to date. In late high school and early college I lost most of the weight that made me the focus of bullies in middle school but still retained most of my curves. I had breasts on the larger side but they fit my body, with a defined hour glass shape and wide hips. I'm also on the shorter side at just 5'3". My dirty blonde hair falls almost to my shoulders in the front and to the bottom of my skull in the back. I have to say that my best feature are my moss green eyes; the irises ringed by a thick charcoal colored rim. Overall I'm not ugly but I'm not a supermodel. I'm often described as cute and never described as sexy. My shy nature also doesn't help me on the dating scene because I come off as uninterested when in reality I'm just nervous. But I didn't really have the spare time to date anyway.
My experience with men was limited, having been on a few dates in college, but nothing serious ever came of them. In fact I'm somewhat ashamed to admit, that at the age of 19, I've never even been kissed. This goes to say that I'm also a virgin. But this doesn't mean that I'm innocent. I've been having sexual fantasies since the age of 6, and they've just become more elaborate and detailed throughout the years. I had my first self inflicted orgasm at the age of 12, and began watching porn at 13. I masturbate every night at least once and as mentioned before in the mornings if I have the time and energy. I've been craving the attention of a man for so long but have gotten used to the loneliness. I'm not really interested in a one night stand despite my active sex drive, I wanted more and was willing to wait for it.
I dragged myself through the rest of the day. I had lunch with my two friends Elena and Elizabeth. We talked about Elena's boyfriend and then when she went to get lunch Elizabeth vented to me about her jealousy over Elena's relationship and her annoyance about Elena constantly talking about her boyfriend, Rob. Elizabeth was just that kind of person, a jealous person, and Elena was that talkative better than you kind of person, and I was the kind of person that you can vent to, that never really causes any drama. Sometime I wondered why I was friends with them but I knew it was because I wouldn't be able to handle the constant loneliness and because I could pretty much get along with anyone. After all of my classes I went to the library for a little while but just couldn't focus on studying any went back to my room.
After having dinner while watching a ocean documentary my roommate walked through the door from an extended weekend trip at her boyfriend's house. My roommate Cassie is just awesome, I couldn't have ended up with a better roommate and we were put together randomly. Her boyfriend Jeremy is pretty cool too and they are so cute together. I often find myself wishing I had a relationship like theirs, built on friendship.
Later that night after I had lain down to go to sleep and Cassie had come in and gotten ready for bed and headed off to Jeremy's room I found myself fantasizing again. I have a certain type of guy that I always craze. He's a tall man with wide shoulders and muscular arms. He has blue eyes and a shaved head, he's not mean but he's dominant and possessive. And he knows what to do with a woman's body. I found myself reaching down between my thighs to rub my clitoris through my underwear. I lay there with my eyes clenched shut imagining it was his hand or mouth working me. My body began tensing and I finally came with a shudder. I laid back and finally felt myself relax for the first time that day; the only thing that could have made it better was to feel my big dominant man holding me as I fell asleep. As I was nodding off I noticed a green flashing light outside my window, it lit up the whole sky. I had seen something similar earlier in the year when we had a big snow storm and assumed whatever had caused it then was causing it again as I drifted off to sleep. When I woke up again it was to the sound of screams.
