Home For Horny Monsters Ch 99

Hi, all, Annabelle Hawthorne back at it with a new chapter of Home for Horny Monsters!

If you're a first-timer, let me catch you up: Once upon a time, Mike Radley inherited an old house and jerked off in the tub. As a result of this, he has taken down a cabal of witches, battled dimension crossing demons, tag-teamed the Krampus (non-sexually) with Santa, and now he's going to Hawaii. Make sense?

He also fucked a lot of monster girls in there. May want to jump back to the beginning if you want to read about goblin titties.

Returning reader? I missed you! This month was hella busy, but I'm happy to keep the ball rolling as Book 7 gets off the ground. Thanks to all of you who take the time to leave me stars, leave comments, really everything you do. I spent two hours the other night hunting down Lit Feedback that got tossed into my spam, promotions, and my social folder on gmail. I have no idea why it does that, but I did try to reply to a bunch of you who wrote me. Almost all of you had really nice things to say!

Just a reminder that I couldn't do all of this without you. Yes, I say it almost all the time, but only because it needs repeating. I am appreciative of your enthusiasm and kindness, which has enabled me to go far. So again, thank you. My Lit readers really are the best.

Don't forget to check my bio for updates on when I intend to post. Now before we begin, please make sure your seats and tray tables are in a full-upright position and that all spare items are stored beneath your seats, because it's time to fly

The Friendly Skies

The air above the tarmac rippled like a sheet in the wind, the heat eating through the thin fabric of Mike's shirt and making him sweat. The entourage had arrived a few minutes earlier than expected, meaning they had to wait for the private jet to come out of its hangar where the Order prepared the plane for the trans-ocean flight. He had no idea what this actually entailed, but the answer satisfied Ratu.

Flying used to give Mike anxiety, but any fear of heights had been squashed long ago by the piece of Abella's soul that was now part of his. In the event of an emergency, it had already been discussed that Lily could easily carry him to safety while Ratu used her magic to protect Beth and Quetzalli.

Ingrid and Wallace stood behind them, looking very much like a pair of secret service agents. Mike kept noticing that Ingrid would stare at him when she thought he wasn't looking. When he had inspected her soul, he could see a boiling mass of confusion coupled with desire and rage.

Lily seemed to notice as well. She kept smirking at the agents like she knew a secret. Other than some brief instructions when everyone was picked up, Ingrid and Wallace had said very little.

There had been no sign of Cyrus and his team, but Mike already knew that they had arrived minutes after he had left. Kisa had contacted him via their telepathic link to let them know that they were just wandering the grounds and trying to chat up the centaurs, who they were seeing as humans.

Kisa had also informed him that Jenny was taking her new role as Head of Security very seriously. Reggie had even made her a badge for it, which was just an old silver dollar with a sheriff's star drawn on it in Sharpie that had been hot glued to the outside of her dress. Apparently the cursed doll was now at that very moment sitting on the porch swing with Cecilia, watching for any signs of trouble. Mike didn't know if her sudden interest was because she cared about the house, or because he had given her permission to cause trouble if the Order tried to pull anything.

The doors of the hangar slid open, revealing a sleek looking white plane with glowing runes down the sides. Mike could tell that several strong enchantments had been placed on it, so took a few steps toward Ratu.

"Defensive?" he asked, knowing she could see them too.

"Indeed. Along with cloaking and..." Ratu squinted her eyes in the direction of the fuselage. "Interesting. Improved fuel efficiency. That's one I haven't seen before."

The plane came to a stop nearby, and the cabin door swung down to reveal stairs. At the top, a pair of women in uniform waved for them to come over.

"Finally," Lily muttered, hauling a massive suitcase behind her that Mike knew for a fact was just one of her illusions. Once created, it would only continue to exist as long as Lily remained within thirty feet of it.

One of the women came down the stairs and opened the luggage compartment in the belly of the plane. Mike and the others handed over the bags they had brought, then ascended the airstairs. The other woman, who wore Captain's bars, smiled pleasantly at them and gestured for them to choose their seats.

The interior of the cabin was nice and roomy, allowing up to three people to sit next to each other. The seats then alternated which side of the plane they were on, making the cabin appear like a lounge. Mike also noticed a few oblong seats in the back that looked like they folded down into beds.

"Welcome aboard." The captain pointed to the overhead bins. "Make sure you tuck away any loose belongings before take off."

"Will do." Mike shoved his backpack into the overhead bin. Other than a couple of books, he just had a tablet similar to Abella's loaded with movies. He couldn't remember the last time he'd had more than an hour to himself, and was looking forward to catching up on what had come out in the last few years. He started to sit by the window, but was interrupted by a tap on the shoulder.

"May I?" Ratu was standing right behind him. "I haven't been on a plane before and heard the view is spectacular."

"Oh, right, of course." Mike took the middle seat instead. The seats were huge, upholstered in leather with moveable armrests and plenty of legroom. Beth and Quetzalli walked past his row, both of them smirking in his direction.

Uh oh. He watched as Lily entered the cabin and tilted down her sunglasses dramatically to inspect the surroundings. She wore a red sundress with a matching wide-brimmed hat and black thigh high boots. When she saw where Mike was sitting, she licked her lips and headed for the aisle seat.

"Excuse me, sir, but I think you might be in my seat." She batted her eyelashes in his direction.

"Let me see your ticket," he replied with a chuckle.

"Sure, I have it right here." She handed him a slip of paper with a pair of tits drawn along the bottom and the words The Order Eats Ass written across the middle.

Wallace, who was now behind Lily, got a confused look on his face and reached past her waist to snatch the ticket from her hand. He studied it for a moment with a scowl, then balled it up and tossed it onto the floor.

"If you don't want to come, you can fucking--" he was cut off when Ingrid put a hand on his shoulder and shook her head.

"Down, boy," Lily muttered, then flopped down into her seat and crossed her legs. "If I'm too much for you, then maybe--"

"Enough." Mike put his hand on Lily's leg and squeezed. "If you can't behave, I'll make them swing over the house and we'll drop you out."

"You wouldn't dare?" Lily raised a hand to her mouth in exaggerated shock.

"Can I push?" asked Wallace.

"We'll aim for the fountain," Ratu offered, then turned her attention out the window. "Maybe someone will try and catch you if they're in a good mood. If not, maybe the tip of the fountain will dislodge that stick up your ass."

Mike looked at Ratu in horror, then turned back to see that Lily was grinning. The succubus was thriving on the chaos she was sowing, and they hadn't even taken off yet!

"Go." Ingrid nudged her partner from behind. "She's just fucking with everybody."

Lily lowered her glasses and batted eyelashes in Wallace's direction. "It's very true. I do all of this for attention, but mainly because I have daddy issues and a history of bad relationships."

"Ugh." Wallace sneered at her then moved to the back of the cabin. Ingrid settled in a seat across from Wallace, then pulled a facemask from the pocket of her seat and slipped it over her face. It was clear she intended to sleep through the flight--or at least pretend to.

The captain gave some instructions over the intercom as the plane taxied out toward the runway. They got stuck waiting their turn, and Mike overheard Beth explaining aerodynamics to Quetzalli.

"So the wings don't actually flap," Beth said. "When the engines fire up, the plane goes really fast, which makes air move over the wings. See how they're curved? There's more surface area up top, which means--"

"The air molecules become less dense, causing lift from the higher pressure air below." Quetzalli winked. "That part I get. But why not get assistance from the wind itself, or even some air spirits?"

"Air spirits?" asked Beth.

Quetzalli looked out the window. "Elementals, maybe, whatever you call them. It would take a really big pair of wings to lift up a creature of my...uh, something large, like a roc. A gargoyle is a perfect example, actually. It's instinctual for magical beings, interacting with the natural world around them to buoy themselves into the air without the need for jet engines."

"Elementals." Beth stared off into space, suddenly deep in thought. Mike turned his attention forward again and saw that Ratu had pressed her face against the glass.

"Excited?" he asked.

She nodded, a movement which made her forehead squeak against the glass. "I remember when men were folding wings of wood and throwing themselves off of cliffs in an attempt to conquer the sky. I have never ridden on anything other than boats and buses in my entire life, and look forward to seeing the world as a bird does."

"It's not that great," Lily offered. "Being on a plane just means you can see more idiots at once. Particularly over cities."

"Surely such a sight would be cause for self reflection on the human condition? I can't imagine people would look down on over a million souls below and not see how they're part of a bigger picture."

Lily frowned. "Unless a loved celebrity tells them how important everything is, they're content to fester in their own stupidity, especially now that they have social media. It's like a marinade for ignorance."

"Social media?" Ratu looked at Mike for guidance.

The engines revved up and the jet started moving toward the runway. The naga spun in her seat and pressed her face against the window once more. Mike chuckled and rubbed her back, noticing immediately the large number of bumpy scales underneath. He could feel her flesh rippling as the plane accelerated, pressing everyone but Ratu back into their seats.

"Oh, I've missed this!" declared Quetzalli from behind him. Ratu had twisted her face to see the front of the plane better, and he fought back a laugh. He had never seen the prim and proper enchantress look so silly.

Once the plane left the ground and made its ascent, Ratu squealed in delight. "We're going up! I can see the airport! Wow, look at how tiny all those cars are!"

"It's like flying with a toddler," Lily muttered, then handed over a pack of gum. "You should make her chew some of this before the pressure hits her ears and she cries. Passengers hate a screaming child."

"You brought gum?" He took it from her and smiled when he saw it was cinnamon flavored.

"Not my first plane trip, Romeo." She blew a bubble, then popped it obnoxiously. "Thought of it this morning when I saw all that Beth was bringing."

Now that had him curious. "What all did she bring?" he asked.

"Snacks. Books. Movies. Pillow. Blanket." Lily popped her gum again. "It's at least a ten hour flight."

"We can do it in eight if the wind is right." This came from Wallace behind them. Mike frowned, realizing that the man could hear their conversation. "This plane is much faster than what you're used to. Anyone else taking a direct flight is looking at almost twelve hours."

"Damn." Mike thought about his carry-on bag. Kisa and Tink had helped him pack it, but he hadn't thought about packing a variety of things to do. He had spent part of the morning trying to explain his impending absence to Grace, but the little Arachne got upset and hid in the attic. It also didn't help that he couldn't remember the last time he had spent more than a few minutes doing nothing. The house kept him busy from sun up to sun down and now he was just going to sit here half a day.

"Ah. Ahhh!" Ratu stuck a finger in her ear and wiggled it. "Ow, why is this hurting all of a sudden?"

"Chew on some gum," he said, pulling a stick for himself. The naga took a piece and inspected it with a frown.

"Oh, I see," she muttered, then popped the stick in. "I hadn't considered that we would experience such a change in pressure. I thought you said these cabins were pressurized?"

"They are," Mike replied. "But not to sea level. Someone smarter than me probably knows why."

He half expected Wallace to offer an answer. Ingrid was now reclined in her seat with her foot up on a stool that swiveled out in front of her. Mike found his own foot stool and pulled it out. If he was going to be bored, at least he would be comfortable.

The plane reached cruising altitude, and Mike heard the faint hiss of soda being opened. He looked back and saw that Beth had pulled a six pack of Sprite along with a huge bag of trailmix out of her carry-on, and was listening intently to Quetzalli as the dragon described nearby cloud formations.

"Damn." Lily turned and looked back as wee. "What are the odds that she has booze?"

"Pretty good, I'm sure." Mike got up and pulled his carry-on from the overhead bin. He had crammed a few things in it, but it was stuff he thought he might need. Being honest with himself, he had been in a hurry and more worried about his daughter, which had resulted in a lack of preparation for his flight. When he unzipped the backpack, he discovered a ziploc bag underneath a folded piece of paper. He pulled the paper free and opened it, only to hear Lily snort beside him.

Mike smiled at the picture Tink had drawn of him plowing her from behind. She had colored it with crayons, which made it even more hilarious. At the top of the paper were the words 'Come home soon!'

"How many veins did she draw on your dick?" Lily snatched the paper away and scrutinized it. "This is hilarious."

He snatched his letter back and tucked it into his bag. The ziploc bag came out and he laughed. Tink and Kisa had stuffed it full of Eggo waffles that they had toasted and then stuffed with peanut butter as if they were giant Oreo cookies.

"At least I won't go hungry," he said with a smile, then let out a gasp. Down in the depths of his bag, past his flip flops and shorts were a pair of canned beers. When he pulled one free, he winced when he heard the faint ripping of cobwebs beneath them. Scowling, he shifted his bag around to discover that Grace had smeared webbing all over the bottom of his bag. She had taken his bag away this morning before he could pack it, but he had no idea she had done this.

He did his best to scrape webbing off his beer before pulling it free. Lily had gotten out of her seat and was asking Wallace about in-flight entertainment. Ratu had her forehead pressed so hard to the top of the window that there were marks on her face when she looked away.

"I thought it would be more like a rollercoaster," she told him, using her hand to elaborate. "A constant up and down motion."

"Yeah, that would get old after a few minutes." He cracked open his beer and pulled out his tablet. "I've got some movies saved on here if you want to watch one with me."

"Movies?" Ratu's emerald eyes lit up, and the scales on her neck and face shifted. They had become more prominent during the plane's ascent and there was no doubting her nature now. "I can't remember the last time I saw a movie."

"Welcome to the 21st Century." He offered her an earbud, which she scrutinized before jamming in her ear. Mike turned his tablet sideways and showed Ratu how to scroll through his movie library. "Any requests?"

She leaned into him, and the scent of chamomile tea drifted over him like a blanket. Ratu poked at his screen, then tapped on one of the pictures. "Who is that?"

"Chris Evans," he replied. "And that movie is part of a series."

"I wish to watch movies with him." She wrapped her arm around his. "This man is very pretty."

"Here, we'll start with the one where he punches nazis." Mike tapped the screen and watched the Marvel logo spin up. Ratu pressed into him, and he was suddenly conscious that her nipples had gone hard beneath her silken blouse and pressed into his arm.

Yeah, well, Chris Evans has that effect on people, he thought to himself with a grin. He couldn't help but notice that the top of Ratu's head fit perfectly underneath his jaw as she snuggled into him and watched the movie.

Lily managed to raise enough hell with Wallace that the man showed her where the mini-fridge was, and the succubus returned carrying an armful of snacks and a bottle of wine.

"Those assholes were holding out on us," she declared loudly, then popped the cork on the wine. "There's more back there if you want any."

Mike made a point to throw a frown back at Wallace, who was looking out the window and likely feigning interest in a passing cloud. Ingrid was still in her seat with her blindfold on.

Lily licked the tip of the bottle seductively, then slammed the first third of it. "Oh, that's way nicer than I expected," she said with a giggle, then leaned against Mike and whispered in his ear. "Sleeping beauty is scrying."

Mike shook his head and pushed the bottle away. "No thanks," he told her, pretending that she had just asked if he wanted any. "Doesn't pair well with my in-flight meal."

"You're lame," she replied with a pout, then drank a bit more. "I'm gonna see if the girls want some." Lily rose and sauntered back to where Beth and Quetzalli sat, most likely to pass along the information.

Ratu squeezed Mike's arm and gasped in response to the movie. She had taken the tablet from him and clutched it tightly in her fingers. "It looks so real," she whispered.

"Yep. They've gotten pretty good at that."

"Indeed." The naga licked her lips and looked at him. "Are airplanes always so cold inside?"

"They can be." He turned around and looked at Wallace. "Do you guys have blankets?"

Wallace ignored him.

"It's fine," Ratu said, then ignited a ball of fire in her hand and set it to hover above their seat.

Ingrid practically leapt out of her chair and shrieked while Wallace ran to the back of the plane for a fire extinguisher. Ratu had dismissed the fireball by the time Ingrid arrived, smirking at the mage.

"I was getting cold is all," she said with a sinister grin.

"No fire on the plane," Ingrid said, her face so pale Mike thought she was going to pass out. "Never. I don't care who you are, I'll--"

Wallace took Ingrid by the shoulders and pushed her toward the back of the plane. He paused long enough to open an overhead compartment and pull out a stack of blankets, which he tossed down at Mike.

"Thanks," Ratu said, then grinned. "It's my first time on a plane. I apologize."

Wallace grunted, then looked toward the back of the plane where Ingrid sat gripping the arms of her seat. "Yeah, well...no magic on the plane."

He left to comfort his partner, who looked like she was going to be sick. Mike turned his attention back to Ratu and showed her how they could lean the seats back and then covered both of them with blankets in an attempt to keep her warm. Lily eventually returned to her seat with a couple of the books that Beth had brought along as well as another bottle of wine. The first one was already empty, the bottle now rolling around beneath her seat.