Hey all, Annabelle here with the newest chapter of Home for Horny Monsters!
This is one of my favorite chapters, because, as you will soon see, I saw some rampant speculation about the events that are about to transpire. It is so hard seeing some of you guess correctly and not being able to dish out those high fives.
Also, I want to thank all of you so much for the ratings and comments on previous chapters. Yes, I get criticism at times, and it has been very hard churning out what amounts to a full novel in four month's time while working 40+ hours a week. I love this community for their enthusiasm and support, so when I see so many of you sharing that love, it really keeps me going!
Enough gushing from me. Let's see how Mike handles an angry witch.
*****
Unwanted Company
She sat in the black sedan, watching the old, victorian era home across the street. Through the gate and the hedges, she could only make out the upper levels, replete with turrets and large, ornate windows. Inside that home, she knew would find her prey, but one problem remained.
Of the many magical enchantments the house had, the most annoying of them all was that you had to be invited. They had bypassed this little detail with the succubus —using Mike's blood had let them bypass the magical barrier through a ritual that had taken hours to complete. Of course, that drop of blood was long gone, as was her patience.
No, she would need to find another way in. Stepping out of the sedan, her dark robes billowed around her. Though they stood out in the bright morning light, they made her almost imperceptible to any humans who may be passing by. Unless she directly interacted with somebody, she would be dismissed as a passing shadow, or a homeless person, some non-entity not worth noting. With her dagger tucked into the back of her belt, and her wand strapped to her upper thigh, she only had one choice, the one she hated most of all.
Sarah was forced to wait.
-
By the time Tink arrived in the kitchen, Mike was in full swing. He had cleaned up the front rooms, pulling sheets off of the furniture that had survived both Jenny and the fire elemental. Head tilted high, her nostrils flared as she sniffed at the aroma coming off the stove.
"What you make?" Tink climbed onto her chair, a place at the table set for her. "Smells okay."
"Omelettes. One of the few things I can cook." Mike was busy flipping one in a pan, hot, melted cheese oozing out of the sides. "I haven't made them in years, so I'm hoping they turn out okay."
"Omelette." Tink sounded the word out, nodding her approval. Waiting patiently, her legs kicked back and forth, a full foot off the ground. "What happen last night? Tink have foggy dreams."
"Succubus attack, nothing major." Mike walked over to the table, frying pan in hand. Tilting it, he used the spatula to push the omelette onto her plate. It left a gooey trail of cheese all the way onto her plate. "You wanna eat that before it cools."
"What inside?" Tink peeled up the top layer with her fork.
"Just cheese. Maybe I will pick up some ham or something to put in it tomorrow." Mike was busy pouring some eggs he had previously whisked into the pan. "Omelettes are like the pizza of the breakfast world. You can put anything in them." Turning to wink at Tink, he saw that she had already devoured what he had given her, holding up her plate for more.
"Tink like. Cheese favorite part."
"Shit. Give me a couple minutes." Rolling his eyes, MIke finished the omelette he had been making, making sure to put extra cheese on it. "Later today I need you to be ready to hide. I ordered some groceries from Amazon again. A bunch of stuff to make some real food around here, plus a bunch of meat for the Mandragora. Think you can help me feed it?" He tilted Tink's omelet onto her plate.
"Tink always help." This time, Tink took her time, tearing bites off with her fork.
"After we take care of that, we can sit down and figure out how to get your goggles back." Mike bit into his omelette, letting out a sigh of contentment. A nice warm breakfast went a long way to ensuring that the day would go well. "How does that sound?"
He looked up from his meal to watch Tink practically inhale the rest of her food. The goblin threw herself out of her seat, running around the corner of the kitchen, and down the stairs to the vault. Seeing no need to rush, he took his time eating. She soon appeared with a map in her hands, which she unrolled on the table.
"Is that a map of the labyrinth?" Mike asked, staring at the odd symbols that covered the old parchment.
"Most of it. Some places unchartable. Tink find map long ago, we use to find where cow fuck sleeps, and then!" Tink slammed the fist of her hand into the palm of her other. "Knock out cow fuck, get goggles back!"
"I hope it's that easy." Mike stood up to look closer at the middle of the map. A swirling symbol had been drawn in the center of the labryinth proper. "What's this about?"
Before Tink could answer, the doorbell rang.
"I'll get it." Not like he had a choice, honestly. Tink grabbed the map off the table, quickly disappearing back into the basement with it. Mike whistled softly to himself, scanning the front room on his way through. True, half the furniture was busted up and out on the curb right now, but what was left looked really nice.
Mike opened the door. On the porch was the delivery girl, her hat pulled low over her face. She was holding several bags, with a couple more on the floor.
"May I come in?" she asked.
"You sure can." Mike knelt to pick up the bags on the porch when he felt the cold sensation in his stomach. Without thinking, he threw himself to the side, catching just the flash of light off of a dagger. Rolling away, he jumped to his feet in time to avoid another slash which would have caught him in the face.
"Holy shit!" Mike lost his balance and fell backward on his butt. The delivery girl ripped off her hat, her clothes shimmering and transforming into long black robes. Her dark hair was pulled away from her face, revealing eyes filled with anger.
"Hold still!" He recognized her now, Sarah, Elizabeth's daughter. She ran at him, blade held high, only to stop when Cecilia appeared, arms outspread. Momentarily stunned, Sarah's eyes narrowed as she slashed at the apparition.
The blade cut through Cecilia's dress, blood blossoming through her dress. Stunned, Cecilia stared at the blood on her hands, arms shaking. Sarah grinned.
Cecilia screamed, letting loose the full blast of her howl. Sarah's hair and gown billowed away from her, and she grabbed her ears, sinking to her knees in agony. Sparkling light coating her body, Cecilia burst into fog, disappearing from sight.
"Cecilia!" Mike cried out, lunging forward with a potted plant he had grabbed from the edge of the porch. He caught Sarah in the face, shattering the pot and scattering soil and dead plant chunks across the porch. She slashed at his legs, slicing through the fabric of his pants and biting into his leg.
"Fuck!" Mike fell, doing his best to tuck and roll and failing miserably. His legs splayed out sideways and he ended up rolling off of the front steps, tumbling face down onto the cobblestones below. He smashed his nose into the walkway, immediately tasting blood.
Sarah grabbed him by the hair, lifting his head back while holding his back in place with her knee. He saw the flash of metal before his eyes, the knife coming for the exposed flesh of his neck. Mike closed his eyes, unable to process what was about to happen.
A whoosh of air followed with the sound of flesh smacking stone, and the weight was off of him. Mike's face smashed into the ground once more, a result of his attempts to resist Sarah's pull. Rolling on one side, he saw that Abella had Sarah airborne, her talons around Sarah's back. Sarah was hollering at the gargoyle, slashing at her with her knife. Surprisingly, blue blood flowed from Abella's wounds. Attempting to keep the upper hand, Abella dove into the soft dirt of the yard, flattening Sarah beneath her.
"Abella!" Mike stood up, wiping blood off his mouth. Running at the pair, he was caught off guard by the blast of light that knocked Abella off of Sarah, the gargoyle tumbling through the air and crashing through the railing of the porch.
"Is that the best you have?" Sarah asked, aiming her wand at Mike. Her lips moved wordlessly, the air around them saturated with magic. Mike wanted to run, but all he could see was Abella's crumpled form on the porch. He had to get to her.
Cecilia reappeared right behind Sarah, her torso a bloody mess and her face a mask of anger. Mike could see her chest expanding, and covered his ears.
The howl made his ears ring, even through his hands. Sarah, startled by the shriek, flinched. The blast of light from her wand spiraled across the yard like a firework, crossing the boundary of the tall stone wall and striking a large tree in the neighbor's yard. For just a second, the thirty-five foot tree glowed blue before exploding into a hot mess of sparks and wood.
Sarah drew the knife, slashing at the banshee, but Cecilia had faded from sight. Raising the wand once more, her lips twisted into the beginnings of her next spell.
Not wasting any time, Mike sprinted for the side of the house. Green sparks ruptured the air behind him, exploding into the stone wall as he rounded the corner. Seeing the door to the garage, he frantically fumbled with the latch, lifting the door just enough that he could roll under it, seeing Sarah's slender legs turn the corner of the house. Ducking around the boxes, he was caught from behind by the blast of energy that crumpled in the door, scattering boxes and books in every direction.
This was it. He was done for. Heart pounding, he listened as Sarah stepped into the garage.
