Goblin Wives - North Pole

Goblin Wives -- North Pole Part 8a

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The fat elf stared at the white walls of its room. It was getting bored. No one would give it any news. The only time anyone talked to it was when they drew blood or got some other medical sample.

It absently scratched an itch.

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A late 60's/early 70's Suburban blazed into the parking lot of Jimmy's old apartment complex. Four people dashed out of the still running vehicle and dashed up the stairs. An old man came out of the office, yelling at them and the two still in inside.

"Hey! Park the damn car! You can't leave it there". Then seeing the door the four were pounding on, he yelled again, "He's not there!"

Six sets of eyes turn towards him. The old man didn't give a fuck. "Move the car!"

One of the passengers, a middle aged woman, moved into the driver's seat and parked the car. She got out with an even older woman. The two walked. over to the old man.

"That's better."

The older woman grumpily inquired, "What do you mean he's not there."

The four that had run upstairs came back down and stood with the two older women. The old man looked at them: an adult male, an adult female, two teenage/young women, and the two older females that had stayed in the car.

Taking his time, the old man finally replied, "He and his girlfriend moved out this morning."

Each of the six were talking over each other, each asking the same thing. The common themes were: What girlfriend? Moved out? When did he leave? Where did he go? The old men let them ramble for a bit. Finally, they quieted down, with the eldest woman asking, "We're his family. We've been trying to find Jimmy for a long time. Can we see his apartment?"

The old man walked up the stairs, followed by the six. He noted that even the oldest was still spry. At the door, he pulled out a key, unlocked and opened the door, and waved them in.

"You aren't going to find anything. I've had the place cleaned."

As the youngest five walked around inspecting the apartment, the eldest stayed near the door with the old man.

"We just want to look around. See if he left anything."

The old man shrugged. "I told you. I had the place cleaned."

The five continued to mill around as the oldest responded, "I'm sure he left something..." before being cut off by the old man. "Lady, you're not listening. I said I had the place cleaned."

The woman he was standing next to got a very sour look on her face. "Yes, I understand. You had the place cleaned. We just want to see if he left anything behind."

The old man sighed. Some people are just clueless and dumb as rocks. If they were his family, he could see why Jimmy left. For reasons that were obvious and other reasons the old man surmised. Time to spell things out for them, hopefully in a way they'd understand.

"Lady, you aren't listening. I...HAD...THE...PLACE...CLEANED."

He could see a dim bulb had just illuminated. About time. The woman looked at him and said, "You cleaned it?"

"Yep!" She finally got it.

"Oh...well...," she said, "we're his family and we are trying to find him." Pointing to the two youngest women, "those are his sisters," then to the other three, "and those are his mother, father, and grandmother." Then looking into the eyes of at the old man, she continued, "I'm his great-grandmother. We've been looking for him for a long time. Do you know where he went?"

"Nope!"

"Surely you have some idea. Forwarding his mail. Sending him his deposit refund. A contact in case he left something."

"Nope! He never got any mail other than generic junk mail. Did everything online, just like I do. His security deposit has already been transferred. As for a forwarding address, nope. Just got in the limo with his girlfriend and left. I got the key from the movers before they left. Besides, he knows how to reach me."

"What Limo? Movers? Do you know who they were? Do you know where they were going?"

"Nope. Limo was standard black deluxe model. You know, the kind that you can stick an entire wedding party in and still have room for the strippers. As for the movers, a couple of big dudes in a white truck, no markings. Looked like a custom move to me. Got everything packed up and in the truck in less than thirty minutes. Guys driving the truck also vacuumed and wiped everything down. Real professional. Made it easy to clean after they left."

"So, what about this girlfriend? What do you know about her?"

"Not much. She was quiet and private. A real cutie though. Never got her name. But she was extremely affectionate towards James. Been living with him for just about six months."

Clearly great-grandma was running the show, as she continued to poke. "You must know something. He had to give references. You had to run a credit report. You have SOMETHING that would help us."

The old man was finally getting annoyed, as he escorted them out of the apartment and walked them back to their car. "Lady, I told you what I know. Don't have any that other stuff because I own the fucking building free and clear and *I* decide who I'm renting to. If I like them, I rent to them at a price I think they can afford. If I don't like them, I might rent to them, but double or triple the price. If they take it, more money for me. If I really don't like them, I don't rent to them. I liked James, so I rented to him. That's it."

The father was about to interject, when the old man continued, "when you came in, I hope you noticed the no trespassing and no solicitation notice. It's time for you to go. If you don't leave, you will be trespassing."

The three eldest women gave him a look he didn't like. The old man moved here to avoid shit like this, but sometimes it shows up whether you like it or not. "Look, do you folks want to have a throw down? Right now! Here! In public! Middle of the day!"

The six were about to confront the old man, when they each saw something in his eyes that made them reconsider. The father addressed the old man, handing him a card. "We'll leave now. If you remember anything, please give me a call."

The six got in the Suburban and left. The old man sighed as he watched them leave. He'd have to reclean James' old apartment. Those six left a miasma wherever they went. No wonder they had to drive such an old vehicle. Very rude too. Never gave their names. Didn't say hello. Didn't offer to shake hands, not that he'd have wanted to touch their skin. He definitely understood why James wanted nothing to do with them. Too bad he had to run again.

As walked back into his office apartment to grab his cleaning supplies, the phone rang.

"Yes. I have an apartment to rent. I just need to finish cleaning it. Come on by. I can show it to you in an hour."

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Doctor Valdra and Witch Hazel were in a conference room with a number of other medical personnel and several mages. The two had written their reports and were each giving a summary to those gathered.

Doctor Vadra started the presentation. "As you all know, we had hopes that the two males arriving from what we believe is the home dimension of the one the Goblins are referring to as "The Donor". We were hoping these two would potentially be available to add to or supplement what "The Donor" is able to assist restoration of NORTH POLE fertility. I'll let Witch Hazel present first."

"Hi folks!" she said, waving to the assembly. "Bad news. I got three samples from Jacob Smalls during his sexual harassment training. Unfortunately, not only did his sperm taste nasty, but he's as sterile as the water in a boiling teapot. There's no way this guy can get any female pregnant. Which is a good thing, given how many he's boinked over the years. That's it! Handing things back to Vadra."

The doctor's grim look was not lost on the crowd. "Unfortunately, Jamed Conlan is also not a viable option. He's mated to a Felidae. As you know, they are very possessive. Less well known is if they take a human mate, the human sperm will only impregnate other Felidae. I suspect that Megan has further restricted James' potency to her and, possibly, her near relatives. It is unclear whether he will be able to donate to the NORTH POLE Panthera Uncia, Snow Leopard, or the Lynx populations."

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Smolder awoke with a start. She had slept exceptionally soundly after eating so well. It was well past the time the when the report on Brittany should be available. Morphing into her lesser hybrid form, she left her sleeping cavern and walked into her main residence.

Waiting for her was a thick envelope. Inside was the report. Smolder read it then threw the report across the room, pages scattering about. She almost breathed fire, stopping just in time from setting the room ablaze.

Nothing. The doctors found nothing. She's a perfectly normal human. Smolder couldn't believe it. Something was wrong. The tests were bad. Someone screwed up. Something wasn't right.

Gathering the pages of the report and putting them back together, Smolder re-read them again, and again, and again, and again. The words never changed. All the data said the same thing. Brittany Williams is a normal human.

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The fat elf was still bored. But now it was very itchy. Looking at itself, it appeared he had a rash of some kind. Its pale skin was irritated by something. With nothing else it could do, it continued to scratch itself.