Β© JAKwriter aka writerJAK -- December 2023
All rights reserved. No republication without approval of the author.
Scanning for AI learning, data scrapping, and similar activities is expressly prohibited.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
'Ole Saint Nick was very pleased with himself as he returned to his Workshop. Where it was located in NORTH POLE was an awful place to live and it was even worse having Mrs. Claus being a highly sexed, horny female goblin. Nothing an elf should EVER be exposed to. Looking over to his right, Mrs. McGillicuddy looked so perfect. Soon they'd be back, and he could give the fucking bitch her walking papers and make Lucinda the new Mrs. Claus.
It would be so nice having someone HAPPY to be cooking in the kitchen. One who PROPERLY left him ALONE at night. One that only wanted to TALK by the fireplace, not strip down to nothing and DEMAND oral sex. UGH! Nasty bitch. He just knew her sexual demands were impacting his work and degrading the efficiency of the other elves. There was NO WAY to avoid the post sex odors that seemed to permeate the entire workshop. He had tried filters, fans, counter odors, opening windows, and anything else he or the other elves could think of. Depending on how hard she had cum, the odors would persist for at least three days and as much as two weeks. For that time, production was down, defect rates were up, elves just stopped working and stared into space. It will be so nice to have her gone.
Finding Lucinda McGillicuddy took him almost one hundred years. He needed to find a woman who hated sex, didn't masturbate, didn't want to hang around "her man" constantly but also liked the thought of "being married" and the stability and improved lifestyle that marriage brought. Someone as perfect as he could get. Too many had fallen short, mostly due to the need to masturbate. The rest were "man haters" and that wouldn't work for the "Santa" and "Saint Nick" image. There had to be some bond between Mr. and Mrs. Claus. That bond with the current Mrs. Claus had been failing due her increasing demands for oral sex, thus his search for a replacement. A better replacement that with elven magic could be an acceptable partner for the next few hundred years.
"How much longer, Nick, until we get home?" Lucinda inquired.
"Not long, my dear, not long. The reindeer will get us there shortly. You'll love the Workshop! Once I make you Mrs. Claus, feel free to adjust things in the kitchens, the common living areas, and the bedrooms to your liking. Pick the one you like best for yourself. Just leave my room alone." Nick replied.
Appearances are everything, so Nick was going to have to handle the changes with care. He was certain Mrs. Claus, he refused to use ANY other name for that abominable goblin, would be willing to go. She was so unhappy. He had cut her off from any oral sex ever since he knew Lucinda was the one. She'd been climbing the walls. Fortunately, she had acceded to his demands and ONLY masturbated in her room. He'd been able to isolate the odors from her vaginal secretions to a subsection of the living quarters, having placed her room at the farthest end of the building and having installed air scrubbers and air pressure flow towards her room then vented twenty miles away.
It's too bad he couldn't use an elf to fill the role. He tested all the elves in the Workshop and NONE would have made even a marginally passable Mrs. Claus. There was no way he would even think of any non-elf from NORTH POLE. All his research indicated they would be as bad, or worse, than the current Mrs. Claus. He was forced to look where population numbers were much higher and the dimension where Lucinda was from had BILLIONS of women to choose from. Even then, it still took an interminably long time to find Lucinda. It would be so nice to have a Mrs. Claus that met all the needs of appearances AND met his needs for her to leave him alone except for mandatory socialization.
The reindeer were picking up the pace as the sleigh drew near his Workshop.
"My dear, the Workshop is just ahead. We'll have you inside shortly and I'll introduce you to everyone." Nick stated.
"But what about Mrs. Claus? Won't it take time to divorce her? What if she causes problems? What if she refuses to leave?" Lucinda worried.
"Don't worry, my dear. We aren't actually married and she's so unhappy, I'm sure she'll leave without much fuss." Nick optimistically observed, conveniently forgetting about the coal contract with the goblins that's dependent on having a representative at the Workshop and how long he had been living with Mrs. Claus.
"There it is, my dear!" Nick said while pointing. "We'll be there in a couple of minutes. On Dasher! On Dancer! On Prancer and Vixen! On Comet! On Cupid! On Donner and Blitzen!"
As the sleigh approached the Workshop, Lucinda asked, "Nick, who are all the people outside? Did you set up a Welcome Party for me? That's so sweet. Thank you, Honey!"
Nick was worried. There was no Welcome Party plans, at least not until he got rid of the goblin. It looked like most of the elves from the Workshop were outside. That meant they weren't working. They were supposed to be working. What the fucking Sam Hell was going on? His stomach started knotting up, but he kept his worry from Lucinda.
"I didn't expect them to hold it outside. It's very cold out and I thought the party would be inside. They must be so excited to see you. I thought they'd wait until you settled in." Nick lied through his teeth.
The reindeer and sleigh came to a stop before the gathered elves. Rank upon rank were standing there shivering. Most didn't even have a coat or other cold weather gear on, only wearing their basic work outfits. It appeared to Nick that some were actually frozen solid, meaning they had been standing outside for the better part of an hour.
"Lucinda, please stay in the sleigh for a moment. I need to check in with the Chief Supervisor for a moment." Nick said, unsuccessfully keeping his worry out of his voice.