Goblin Quest Crossover

Heat tumbled off the cascading granite spires defiantly pointing toward the sky. Few creatures called the badlands their home. It was dry, hot, and contained almost no natural resources. Nearly no one ventured into this region but the rare intrepid adventurer or those needing a shortcut to more habitable lands, making it even stranger to see a group of four travelers trekking across this barren stretch of land.

"I'm gonna put in requests for more collaborative missions! This assignment was immensely fun!" the smiling female goblin enthused.

"You'd have a better chance at finding water out here."

"Why does my knight have to always be so pessimistic?"

The human male rolled his eyes. "You mean realistic. Our ranks are spread too thin to do this kind of thing except when it involves the highest priority tasks."

While patting the backpack under him, he retorted, "Whatever. I'm just glad we completed our assignment of finding these wyvern eggs while enjoying the company of our new friends!"

A tall shield-maiden clad in armor accompanying them, using her spear as a walking stick, wiped the sweat from her brow. "Pyx and I were between errands, so we had some spare time. We've enjoyed our time together with you and Lysander. I hope the flying-mount breeding initiative proves successful."

"This time next year, we might be riding wyverns! How amazing would that be? Lysander wouldn't have to walk so much."

The man, also armored but wielding a halberd, flicked his eyes at the goblin suspended in his right gloved hand. "Walking doesn't bother me, but reaching remote places more quickly would enable us to fulfill more requests. Instead of a week, reaching this Kobold enclave would have only taken a day or two."

"Speaking of... did you notice the inquisitive looks on those lizard folk's faces when we showed up in their camp with Pyx and I in all our harnessed glory?"

Lysander kicked a rock off the road. "You two are certainly head-turners."

"Made it easy to grab their attention! You didn't see it, Lysander, but while you were talking to the clan head, I had a chance to advertise for the Order. I captivated their imaginations with accounts of our escapades. I also made sure to expound on how satisfying it is to attend to the physical needs of our partners and the perks of being carried around for those wanting a more adventurous life with benefits and job security!"

"With how lazy they were, laying on rocks basking in the sun, I don't think being physically active is much of a desirable trait for them," tittered Emma. "Were you not discouraged by only having one person interested?"

"Not in the least! As an erection-inducing member of the Honeypot Maidens, I, Trixi Rockmoss, and Pyx, an adherent of the Concupiscent Cocksmen, seek out even the smallest spark of interest in possible recruits. It is our duty to act as the vanguard for negotiating with other diminutive races to grow our organizations.

"Numbers are not as important as ardor and excellence! With how amenable our cute little guide was to try on the harness, we may have a new member before long."

"Or she was looking for a comfy place to nap with how promptly she fell asleep after giving us only vague directions to the dragon nesting grounds?" suggested Lysander.

"Naturally, my goblin-laying lover. You wouldn't know, but the constant swaying is very nap-inducing, and it didn't take THAT long to find the nests."

"How come there haven't been any recruitment drives for Kobolds till now? I would think they'd be a prime enlistment focus."

"Right, Emma?!? It's a travesty! They'd make wonderful partners. Ya, sure, they may be lacking in boob size, and the scaled parts of their body might not be the softest, but they have those short, thick tails and plump butts -- and their love of warmth and heat might make them extra cuddly at night!"

Trixi embraced the egg she was holding. "Hopefully, we see her around the barracks in the future. I would love to be friends with her."

"Careful, you might get reported for overly affectionate fawning," teased Emma.

"Till then, I'll just have to give all my love to this big boy," tapping Lysander's arm, "and eventually this little guy. He's gonna be the bestest boy!"

"It won't be a he if you continue to hold it so close. Plus, we don't know if you're going to be the one to hatch it," warned her partner.

The green-skinned woman scrutinized the precious bundle held close to her body by a sash. Unwrapping a layer of cloth, she exposed more of the hard, white surface to the afternoon air.

"Temperature determines what it's gonna be. Maybe you should trade with Pyx. It's supposed to be easier to incubate a female wyvern," counseled Lysander.

"Nuhu," Trixi asserted.

Lysander sighed. "Suit yourself."

She stroked the monster egg guardedly. "So, why does temperature determine what it's gonna be?"

"Ask Pyx. He talked with the monster-tamer the longest."

Pyx took out his recently upgraded-to-chalk tablet and rapidly wrote:

It's speculated the seed within the testicles prefers lower temperatures. That is why they are on the outside of the body for many creatures, but for cold-blooded creatures, the process is different for unknown reasons. That being the case, if the egg is slightly cooler, you get a male.

"Hmm, interesting, but not as interesting as learning wyverns have two cocks! Even after watching the whole mating process, I still have questions: can they squirt with both simultaneously? Why didn't he stick both inside? Why was the whole process so clean? He pumped so much into her and didn't spill a drop."

Trixi waited while Pyx wrote.

According to anatomical structural studies of old dragon remains, each testicle is connected to its respective copulatory organ. In theory, they should be able to release using both but don't because they retain a second chance to fertilize another female. After mating, a plug is formed, possibly giving that male's seed a fertilization advantage.

"I see. I kinda wish Lysander had two cocks."

"No, thank you."

Trixi stuck out her tongue. "My knight has no silly imagination!"

"You have enough for both of us. I'm thinking about other things, such as... you won't pout if we aren't chosen as the first dragon rider candidates, will you?"

"No, but I don't see why we shouldn't be. We were the ones sent to this dry, hot, dusty, out-in-the-middle-of-nowhere location, risking our ears and whatever body part humans can't live without to bring back two wyvern eggs."

It wasn't dangerous at all.

Pyx scribbled.

"Hush, you! I'm trying to think up good arguments."

"In the short time I've traveled with you, I've noticed you can be rather persuasive when your mind is set on something," Emma recounted.

Trixi looked smugly up to her partner. "See? Emma is on my side."

Lysander rolled his eyes.

Having run out of topics, everyone fell to their own thoughts. Trixi peered around Lysander to her fellow goblin napping beside his partner.

Her initial impression of Pyx was of a self-effacing milksop. She tried to be friendly and banter with him to spur him out of his shell, but he remained withdrawn and aloof.

She took pride in her ability to socialize with anyone, but all her attempts to engage Pix were rebuffed. Growing exasperated, she eventually asked Emma what she'd done to earn such coldness. Emma explained the issue stemmed from poor treatment by his fellow villagers, which turned into an aversion toward his own kind.

This wasn't unheard of within Goblin society. Even within Trixi's clan, such outcasts existed on the fringes, but Pyx's situation seemed especially bad. Determined to help, she changed her tactics.

It wasn't like he only had negative traits; he had many positive qualities. He was highly perceptive, observant, polite, curious, and hungry for knowledge. Whenever they passed through a town, he'd buy some new reading material. That practice reminded her of the old, bearded humans who preferred stacks of musty books and dusty scrolls over a life of travel and adventure. For Pyx, she thought the life of an apprentice to one of that kind instead of a sexual relief aid would have been more desirable... but maybe not!

It wasn't immediately obvious to her why this job was more suited for him. Trixi's gaze trailed down to his flaccid cock. It was small and unimpressive, even erect. 'Does Emma find it satisfying? Maybe she likes them cute, or maybe she's more into what cums out of it.'

She chuckled at her lame pun.

What's behind it is definitely not lacking. Pyx's unusually large balls (relative to his size) swung heavily with every step Emma took.

Whatever Emma's preferences, she was a good partner for him. She was brave, protective, and nurturing, and she cherished him -- a relationship not entirely unlike Lysander and herself.

---

Pyx regarded Trixi, staring at him again. Was she plotting something mischievous again? Despite journeying together for several weeks, he still felt a twinge of anxiety around her. She was loud, assertive, confident, wanton, and enjoyed teasing.

She saved the sexual banter and ribbing for her partner, but with him, she'd try to tickle his sides or tug his ears, not hard, but enough to get his attention. Initially, he thought the bullying meant "keep your distance, runt," but withdrawing didn't help.

Emma suggested maybe it was her way of making friends or to help get him to loosen up. 'Funny way of going about it,' he grumbled to himself.

Afraid of what might happen if he didn't, and because Emma prescribed it, he'd try to put up with it and figure out what Trixi wanted. It started with small things at first: letting her help him prepare the nightly meal together. She was a terrible cook, so he relegated her to only prepping the ingredients. He made an effort not to put so much space between them when they were seated around the campfire. He even went so far as to help her back to her sleeping mat when her legs were wobbly with cum leaking down her thighs after a particular intense lovemaking session with her partner, who had promptly fallen asleep right after.

What did her partner see in her? Maybe he found the opposite of his stoic, chivalrous, quiet nature attractive. Obviously, their relationship extended beyond what was required for their duties, and even more oddly, they seemed to only have eyes for each other.

---

Journeying east, they eventually arrived at the Grintooth Peaks, a broad and jagged swath of mountains dividing the inhospitable wastelands from the temperate climates beyond.

"Do we have to cross these?" asked Lysander.

Trixi shielded her eyes. "Nope, there'll be a narrow ravine at the base of the fourth tooth."

"And you said your home is on the other side?" he asked the goblin standing on his shoulders.

"A little beyond that, but yes. Instead of going south and east ALL the way around, this is a shortcut through minotaur territory."

"Did you say minotaur?" Emma challenged, alarmed.

"Yes?"

Both paladins drew their weapons, instantly on alert.

Emma was not pleased. "You brought us into their dangerous territory without telling us?"

"Relax! No need to get angry. They are just a little misunderstood."

Pyx held up his tablet. "Short tempered, poor eyesight, will go into a frenzy if provoked."

"It's true they can be rather volatile, but they are not unpredictable. They are nearsighted and spook easily if you don't make your presence known loud and clear, and the frenzy thing is actually more nuanced than you might think. It's only caused by one of two things: if their herd is threatened or they see red.

"I am not oblivious to the danger. I've minimized our contact by taking us along the tops of the plateaus. Most of their villages are in the maze of gorges down below."

Lysander peered over the edge. "Most?"

"We do have to pass through one, but they are more amicable than the other villages."

"I would like more assurance," he muttered.

"Ok, then go pick some of that cactus fruit," Trixi directed.

"Huh?"

"A gift of cactus fruits should put us in their good graces and act as a toll payment."

Emma leaned on her spear. "It might be beneficial, in the long run, to update and improve inter-tribal relations."

Lysander sighed. "I think I saw several flowering cacti behind that outcropping."

Both paladins set their goblins on their feet, and the better part of an hour was spent searching for and carefully extracting the prickly fruit along their way.

With two armfuls collected and stuffed into a burlap sack, they descended a pathway to the base of the mesa made by the local wildlife. The terrain opened up, and they saw smoke, a palisade wall, and two sentries in the distance.

Trixi reached into the sack, grabbed two fruits, and peeled them. "Hold me up."

Lysander held her high in front of him.

"Four travelers requesting passage!" she shouted.

"Wait! Didn't you say they frenzy when seeing red? Aren't those fruits red?"

A loud blaring bellow echoed from the camp.

"They are more of a magenta, don't you think?" Trixi teased.

Both sentries broke into a run and started charging headlong toward the four.

"Trixi, what have you gotten us into?" Lysander lamented.

"Trust me! Have I ever given you a reason not to before?"

"Not when it truly mattered, no..."

"Then stand your ground and watch."

Everyone but Trixi tensed.

Lysander prepared to jump out of the way while Emma equipped her shield, and Pyx scurried further back in case a fight broke out.

The ground trembled well before the large demi-humans reached them, their hooves digging deep gashes in the dry, cracked earth. Even from a distance, their prodigious size was intimidating. Muscular and powerful, throwing an entire wagon didn't seem out of the realm of possibility.

They showed no sign of stopping until they were right on top of them. Dust and pebbles kicked up as they ground to a halt. Even with Trixi in Lysander's extended arms, their massive frames loomed over her as they sniffed her from foot to head. They paid particular attention to the area between her legs until they got a whiff of the fruit she was waving in front of them. She handed out fruits to the warriors, and they took them and began eating messily.

A massive, double-bladed axe was strapped to each of their backs, and both were crowned with twin bent horns. They lacked any clothes aside from a beaded leather armband decorated with colorful feathers and a crude gold band around the base of their tapered penises. Girthier at the base than the shaft, what they lacked in fill capacity was made up for in length. With balls rivaling those of a centaur in both virility and size, these minotaurs were the ideal specimens of their kind.

"When you're done eating, we would like to request permission to pass through your village." Trixi gently announced.

"You want passage?" one of them queried, almost in surprise.

"Yes, please," she said sweetly.

"Must ask elder. Come. Follow."

---

Still nervous as they passed through the village gate, Lysander and Emma soon relaxed at the familiar signs of villager life: prepping meals, fixing tools, working as a community, and doing what needed to be done to survive another day.

From a human perspective, their lives were primitive, lacking many of the trappings of civilization. However, the Minos maintained a clean, organized, and austere life. They were adept at living alongside the natural environment instead of subjugating it as more advanced nations tended to do. Skillful at utilizing what scant resources were at their disposal, their homes were built in such a way as to welcome the gentle morning sun while protecting dwellers against the afternoon heat.

The scarcity of clothing appeared to be village-wide, but clothing was perhaps more of a liability with the seasonal heat. The Minos were not devoid of accessories, though. Desert flowers adorned hair, and pretty ribbons hung from horns. Whether intrinsically useful or not, anything colorful was used to bring a bit of visual cheer.

Many villagers stopped what they were doing to stare at the strangers walking down their street.

The guards led them to the middle of the village, where a giant phallic-shaped stone fountain sat in the middle of a vulva-shaped basin.

"Do you hear that?" asked Emma.

Sounds like an avalanche

wrote Pyx.

A sudden roar of water from below their feet erupted out of the fountain, dissipating into a fine mist over the whole village.

"That dropped the temperature considerably. I've never seen anything like this!" Emma marveled.

They've harnessed an alluvial spring!

wrote an impressed Pyx.

From an undistinguished house on the opposite side of the fountain, an old, wizened Mino bull emerged, supported by a gnarled staff and a young Mino woman on each arm. He shuffled up to the group. A short, white beard, a missing horn, and milky and unseeing eyes ennobled his appearance.

"Greetings. I am Eradren Stonehoof, head elder of the High Mesa tribe.

Lysander stepped forward. "Hail and well met. You speak the human tongue?"

"I used to know eight languages including human, but it has been nearly half a generation since I've uttered it. Forgive me if my parlance is incorrect."

"You speak old fashioned but clear."

"I am heartened. Language is certainly important, but not all communication is verbal. May I be permitted to feel your face while we talk?"

"Please do," Lysander replied as he stepped closer.

The old bull inspected Lysander's features, taking note of his armor. "A strong, seasoned warrior. Human technology has advanced -- hopefully in peaceful ways, too. Also... I smell something that is not human."

"That would be me, your agedness. My name is Trixi Rockmoss."

Lysander held her up so the old man wouldn't have to bend over.

"These broad ears, short, yet durable body, and... highly fertile smell, unmistakably goblin, and your face... you were gifted with lovely features, young lady."

"Thank you! We also travel with two others."

"I am Emmaline Thornwood, and this is my partner, Pyx."

"Hmm, a reverse of the other two is what my nose and fingers tell me. A curious fellowship. What brings you so far into these sun-scorched lands?"

Trixi answered, "We wanted to ask if we may use the mountain pass to the marshlands."

"I didn't think outsiders still knew of that route."

"My people live on the other side."

"Of course. It's been so long, I had forgotten about our goblin neighbors. When I was young, there used to be steady trade, but now we have nothing in which to offer."

"You've done well to live here. I don't think too many races would be capable of it," Trixi complimented.

"We eke out an existence." He sniffed the basket of cactus fruit the two guards held. "I see you also possess some knowledge of our people."

"A little, yes -- a gift for your tribe."

"We are well isolated from the outside world's goings-on and have little knowledge of current events. If you are not in a hurry, we would be delighted if you were to stay the night and regale us with a tale or two."

Emma ruffled Pyx's hair. "I would like to get to know these people more. How bout you, Pyx? You like learning about people?"

Pyx nodded enthusiastically.

"If we pressed on through the pass, it's still a considerable distance across the marsh to my village," Trixi informed the group.

"We stay here for the night, then," Lysander declared.

"Wonderful! You can stay with my granddaughters and I."

The later afternoon sun drooped low behind the mountains, bathing everything in fiery orange and purples. The villagers, excited about a disturbance in their mundane life, brought out instruments and lit a large bonfire.