I woke in the late morning and looked around the room. Rick was still passed out on the couch and I still had no idea what to say to him about last night's ghostly visitation. Thinking quickly, I went into the bathroom to prepare my alibi. I emptied my can of shaving cream into the sink and smeared it around some, making quite a mess. I poured a bottle of tequila down the drain, wincing at the injustice of such a necessity.
I went out into the living room and woke my friend. "Rick! What the hell happened in here last night? My razor is shot, you left shaving cream all over my bathroom, and it looks like you polished off all my tequila! And I'm not cleaning up that mess you left in the bathroom, you drunk bastard! Hey, um, why are you all naked on my couch, dude?"
Rick woke up, holding the sides of his obviously pounding head. "What the hell are you talking about?" He looked down at himself. "Oh shit! Man, I'm sorry; I don't know what the hell happened! I had this really weird dream where there were these ghosts, and they, uh...and you kind of...and it was ...oh, fuck. I must have gotten really drunk.
"Okay, so you got up in the night, downed my tequila, played with my razor, and trashed my bathroom. I don't suppose any of your dream ghosts are planning to help you clean up in there, are they? You're damned lucky you didn't cut yourself to shreds!"
I felt a little bad as Rick cleaned up the mess I made in the bathroom and left for home, promising to buy me another bottle of tequila. Having dodged that bullet, I still needed to figure out what to do about my haunted house. I was a little concerned about the way the ghosts appeared to be solidifying through sex. I didn't really want to know what would happen when they completed that process.
I pushed my natural skepticism to the back burner, got on line and found a listing for a psychic medium in my area. I told her I would leave the house open that night and she could do whatever mediums do, but I planned to stay in a hotel while she did it. I wasn't going back in there without some answers. My girlfriend would be back from her trip in a few days and I certainly couldn't bring her to my place the way it was!
The night in the hotel room was uneventful, but I did have some pretty erotic dreams about the ghosts at my place. I met with the medium the following day and she told me my place was quite haunted. There's a news-flash for the guy who had been essentially raped two nights in a row! She told me the spirits were trying to resume their corporeal form by feeding on emotional energy. Sex and fear were particularly powerful providers of that energy. She went on with a bunch of real mystical crap I didn't understand in the least, but it apparently boiled down to this: If the spirits could gather in enough energy from the living they can move from their world to ours on the 21st of December, the Winter Solstice, (ten days away) when the barrier between the worlds was at its thinnest. The real down-side is that the humans, thus depleted of their energies, would be relegated to the spirit world in place of the ghosts who crossed over; sort of an astral bookmark, until the next Winter Solstice.
I'm not sure how much of this crap I really believed, but the medium did manage to talk me out of $200 worth of special spirit-candles which were supposed to keep the ghosts out of my house as long as they burned at night.
The next night I lit the candles and went warily to my bed. After a very peaceful night, I woke up, blew out the candles, and went to work, looking forward to the return of my girlfriend, Susan, and some natural human loving.