Allow me to introduce myself I am the Genie. That's right that Genie, the one from the lamp. After tens of thousands of years, we have been released from our bonds and allowed to roam the world as free creatures. Some like me have become comfortable in our surroundings and have remained our lamp homes.
Now if you have the misfortune to come across my home and the audacity to disturb me, you will not get three wishes as of days of yore. In the modern world if you summon me from my lamp if you live you will become my slave. As a warning to all I will now relate to you what happened to the last poor soul who disturbed me.
I was still enjoying the slumber of a nice hundred-year nap when I was aroused by an irritating scratching on my walls. In a rage, I stormed from the spout of my lamp in a cloud of smoke.
"Who is the mortal who disturbs me?"
The easiest way to describe this cretin is only to say he was wearing polka dot shorts and sandals with black socks. He was carrying a device I knew to be a metal detector and he was wearing the goofiest smile I'd ever seen.
"My name is Rashid and I found you with my CB2000 metal detector. When do I get my three wishes?"
I stroked my beard as I thought about what I would do with this worm. Should I vaporize him on the spot, or maybe turn his toy into a real CB2000 and lock it on his genitals until they rot. Maybe I should have some fun with him first.
"Oh you'll get what's coming to you but first you must answer some questions. Are you married and is your wife at home?"