Finding Meridian

Thanks Dawn and Meadow for suggestions. I wanted to thank everyone for reading. Don't forget to vote. I appreciate the following!

Enjoy,

Meridian

A rewind as they prepare for the island

~~~~~~~

Alex spent the next few days until they left for the meeting just planning. Logan tried in vain to talk to her and she always was busy.

Logan found himself staring at her continually. He felt his heart breaking when he heard her crying at night. He had knocked on her door several times to try and talk to her and was politely asked to leave. He noticed she didn't smile much and when she did it was forced. Logan just wanted her agony to go away.

"Tomorrow we leave in the morning for the island so everyone needs to be sure to pack tonight." Alex said before getting ready to leave the dining room. She let bitter and controlling become her persona.

Meridian stared at her, "Alex, why don't you eat with us?"

"There is business to attend to and I'm not hungry. Please, everyone enjoy themselves." Alex turned and left the room. After she had left Marcus finally spoke up.

"Logan, you need to make this right even if you two just become friends. We need to be a cohesive group for this meeting." Marcus gave Logan a stare that made him feel even worse than he already did.

"I'm trying and she won't stop to talk to me. She's closed off and cold." Logan said as he chastised himself again for what he had done.

"Marcus, she's hurt. You have no idea what she went through with her fiancé. She fought for six months to carry a child alone and Alicia died in two hours. Bastard didn't even show up to the burial. You have no idea how horrible it was to see her fall apart as they put the casket in the ground. She's avoided letting anyone close ever since. Everyone is going to have to give her time." Trinity was telling everyone to try to get them to back off.

Logan wished the world would open up and swallow him whole. If he didn't feel like an asshole and bastard before he sure as hell did now. He didn't need to look up to tell everyone stared at him with loathing.

Meridian stood up, "I'm going to check on her."

~~~~~~

As Meridian got closer to Alex's room she heard the crying. She knocked and heard her sniffle as she said come in.

"Alex, I really think…"

Alex cut her off before she could even finish. "Please don't push me to just forget what Logan said. I can't."

Meridian sat next to her pulling her close, "That is not what I was going to say. I was going to say give yourself some time. It's not going to heal overnight. If you need your distance from Logan we'll move your room when we arrive at the island."

Alex just sat there crying in Meridian's arms, "Thanks for understanding."

"You're my sister, even if things work out in the future with him you need to work through this. Speaking of that, have you spoke with a counselor?" Meridian brushed the tears from her cheeks.

"I will later. I don't have time right now. We leave in the morning. I have to have everything ready. If I start talking about it babies I'll fall apart. We don't have time for me to fall apart right now." Alex pulled out paperwork trying to immerse herself in work.

"I understand, just promise me you will talk to someone once this has calmed down. Of course you know I am always here to talk to without giving any judgment." Meridian watched her and was seriously worried.

"I will, I have more paperwork to take care of. Thanks Meridian." Alex gave her a hug and closed her eyes as if to escape this situation.

"If you need anything, you call or find me." Meridian kissed her forehead and left.

Alex took some more pain pills. The doctor said it was probably due to her being small and would take some time. The stress of everything overtook her and she fell asleep amongst the paperwork all over her bed.

Logan knocked on her door but didn't receive an answer. He opened it to find her curled up in the fetal position among the mass of paperwork.

He organized the paperwork and tucked her in bed. She didn't know he kept coming in at night to check on her. He was worried. She wasn't eating and clearly depressed and it was his fault.

He had made the mistake of talking to Trinity more about what happened with her former fiancé and it made him feel even more of a bastard. The more he thought about it the more he thought, 'Past or no past what I did was cruel and hurt her badly.'

He found himself slipping into her room when she would have nightmares and be crying. No matter what happened he had to do what little he could do to help her out. He would stroke her hair and hold her hand soothing her until she stopped crying in her sleep. Logan wasn't getting much sleep. You would think as a vampire you would lose the guilt but unfortunately it wasn't fading. The nagging guilt and seeing her hurt face was eating at him. Connor saw him leave her room and pulled him aside.

"Why don't you just let her go? Haven't you done enough to her?" Connor was not hiding his irritation from Logan.

"I can't hear her cry all night. I don't wake her but I've hurt her so much I can't have her crying all night in her sleep." Logan looked at Connor with look of torture in his face that stopped Connor from berating him. "I'm grieving too, this is my fault. I can't place the blame on her."

Connor just stared at him with compassion, "Give it some time just don't give up on her."

~~~~~~

A few hours later an officer showed up to talk with Alex. Logan just stared at him and went to get her. He noticed they walked into a side room.

So this Officer Brandon Jiles was his replacement.

Marcus walked by and noticed the irritation in his face.

Marcus put his hand on his shoulder, "It's going to take time."

"In the meantime, I'm a bastard and I get to watch her suffer. I stay up all night long to make sure she doesn't scream or cry in her sleep. When she does I go in and I have to hold her hand to stop her from crying in her sleep. I lied to her and I'm stuck with the results. I've lost my mate and my child. That skinny hurting woman in there is tortured because of what I said. After a thousand years I still managed to screw up a relationship. How can I even believe time will help her forgive me? I can't forgive myself for this." Logan closed his eyes to try to refocus.

He heard the side room door open and saw Alex walk the officer out. Logan watched as he saw the officer grab her and hold her close and stroke her hair.

I should be the one holding her!

He was ready to bolt for the door and pull the man from Alex when Marcus held him back. He growled and went to his room to finish packing so they could leave for the meeting. He couldn't believe someone else was holding her. He couldn't believe how possessive he felt but also the remorse for pushing her away.

~~~~~~

Alex talked briefly with Brandon as he told her about her attorney's mental instability. The case was taken care of. Brandon kept looking at Alex.

"Are you doing OK? You look ill. Have you seen a doctor?" Brandon had come over and put his hand on her shoulder.

"It's just been too much stress all in one week." Alex was doing her best to contain her pain and heartache.

"I know that look. It's about the guy staring at you in the other room?" Brandon looked at her feeling her pain.

"Yes, I guess this is why you're a good officer. Already figured out what happened and with whom huh?" Alex laughed and smiled.

Brandon looked at her with awe, "You need to smile more. Yes, it sucks personally because I can tell you're still taken with him. But you know if you need a friend I'm here." Alex started to cry and Brandon held her.

"I'm seriously not trying to lead you on Brandon. I'm not ready for anything other than friendship." Alex said as Brandon handed her tissues.

"I don't think you need to worry about that. My boyfriend Jason would probably get upset if I started dating women." Brandon said making her laugh quietly.

"Thank you for everything Brandon. Let me walk you out." Alex walked him towards his car when she started crying again. Brandon hugged her.

"Call me if you need to talk." Brandon whispered in her ear, "Don't forget if he just needs a wakeup call; a little jealousy works wonders." Brandon kissed her on the cheek as she laughed.

"You are a wicked man!" Alex was laughing, "I needed that."

Brandon waved at her and left when she reentered the house with a smile on her face. Connor had seen Logan storm off and was trying not to laugh. He could tell Brandon was gay from the moment he entered. He still thought it was good if Logan saw a bit of competition.

After Logan had left the room Connor was laughing and Meridian threw a bagel at his head. "You know it's not nice to laugh at others pain."

"Admit it Meridian, sometimes it is. Sometimes people need a kick in the ass to realize what they are going to lose." Connor said as he threw the bagel back at her.

"Good point. I'm not telling him if you don't," Meridian taunted Connor.

Marcus walked over and looked at the two of them,"What are you up to?"

They both hurried and said, "Nothing," simultaneously averting their eyes in guilt.

An exhausted Alex ascended the stairs to rest. She was still in pain and extremely weary after everything that had happened. She was about to go into her room when she saw Logan walk over to her. "Can we talk?"

"I'm really tired and then I have a lot of things to wrap up tonight." Alex was doing her best to avoid him completely. Her heart had already been stomped on she didn't need any more.

Logan followed her into her room. "Just give me a few minutes."

"Logan, there's really nothing left to say. You made it very clear." Alex was holding her breath.

"I'm sorry Alex. I'm so sorry. Please just talk to me." Logan had turned her towards him.

"What is left to talk about?" Alex finally looked at him with tears filling her eyes.

"How I am so sorry for hurting you. How I didn't mean what I said. I have so much to say; so much to apologize for." Logan looked down at Alex as she started weeping.

"Logan, it's too much for me to deal with right now. I hurt, I'm tired and I got the point during our last conversation." Alex was staring at the floor trying to hide her tears. She moved around him to grab some pills and water. She sat on the bed exhausted and crying. "Can't you just let it go?"

"I'm not letting it go. I'm not letting you go but you need to rest." Logan pulled back the covers and tucked her in. "We'll talk but if you need rest that comes first. I love you and I messed up. I'll spend the rest of my life apologizing if you'll listen but you need to rest." Logan kissed her forehead and ran his hand over her hair. "We'll talk later."

~~~~~~

As sleep pulled her down she noticed a change in scenery. Alex was sitting down in a large back yard it was huge with a forest in the distance. She saw two children running around, a boy and a girl. She saw them running towards her but she was sure either Trinity or Meridian was behind her. The two children looked about three years old as they ran into her arms knocking her to the ground.

Alex started to sob. The two children hugged her and said in unison, "Don't cry mommy, everything will work out. We love you mommy. Everything will be fine." She looked up to see both children wiping the tears from her face.

The little girl looked at the little boy and pointed, "You made mommy cry!"

"No, you made mommy cry!" He yelled back.

Then she heard them scream in unison and pointed behind them, "He made mommy cry!" The two children grew fangs and violently attacked Logan. The little boy looked up with blood on his chin, "He tastes like chicken!"

"Caleb, don't play with your food! Gabriella is doing such a good job, look at her." Alex found herself shouting back as she bolted upright out of the dream screaming and shivering.

Meridian ran in the room. "Another bad dream?"

Alex went from weeping to laughing, "You know how a dream can be scary and you wake up and it's kind of funny?"

"Are you taking too many pain killers?" Meridian stared at her.

"I might be. Just listen and see if you can't laugh in the end." Meridian listened at Alex told her about the dream.

"Well it sounds like your subconscious is working this out. I do like the intervention of your violent vampire children though. Very creative!" Meridian laughed with Alex and hugged her.

"You might want to talk to Marcus and find out what your child will be like, if that child comes out biting I'm sicking them on Logan." Alex said laughing.

"You will not be sicking my child on anyone. That'll be my job." Meridian said laughing. "Oh, I'm taking you tonight to see the doctor. I want to be sure you are fine before we get on the plane tomorrow."

"Yes mom." Alex said sarcastically. "Maybe he can explain my messed up subconscious."

Meridian looked at her, "You still look tired. Why don't you try getting a bit more rest?"

"That sounds good. Thanks for being such a great sister." Alex hugged her as Meridian tucked her in and went to take a nap herself.

~~~~~~

Marcus grabbed Meridian as she walked into the room. "Is your sister OK?"

"She's having nightmares but they are becoming comical now." Meridian was laughing.

"Comical how?" Marcus asked as he was stripping her clothes off.

"She had two vampire children that attacked Logan and said he tasted like chicken." Meridian said while laughing.

Marcus started to snicker and they fell onto the bed together. "Are you ready to go for a ride cowgirl?"

"Do I get to ride you?" Meridian asked as he pulled her on top of him.

"You won't be riding anyone else little one." Marcus held her by the hips over his erection. "What does my little one want?" Marcus teased her by keeping the tip of his cock at her entrance.

"I want you in me. Please Marcus." Meridian ran her finger nails down his chest. Meridian got an evil smile on her face. "I want something else."

Marcus sat her down next to him. She straddled his knees kissing his chest and licking down his tight muscles. "You are an evil woman."

"You don't even know." Meridian lightly kissed and bit on his hip until her hand went around his cock. Marcus let out a low growl. He looked down to see her waiting for him to look. "Do you like the view?" Meridian had her tongue out looking at his cock like she was a predator. She ran her tongue around the head of his cock and slowly sucked it into her mouth.

"Fuck yes!" Marcus groaned as she ran her tongue on the underside of his cock. She slid his cock slowly in and out of her mouth as she looked up at him. He reached down and smacked her ass making her squeal with his cock in her mouth. The vibration made him shriek, "Oh fuck!"

Meridian moaned and whined as she went further down on his cock. "Mer baby, you're going to make me come if you keep that up."

Meridian cupped his balls and used her other hand to move up and down his cock with her mouth enveloping him. She ran her tongue on the underside of his cock as she moved up and down. "Mer baby, I'm going to come. Fuck baby." Meridian looked up at him with love that made him almost come immediately. She sped up as Marcus buried his hands in her hair and guided her faster as she sucked on his cock. "Fuck. I'm coming." Meridian kept sucking and swallowing as his cock pulsed in her mouth releasing stream after stream of his hot essence. He stared down at her face as she looked up at him while still suckling him gently down. "Fuck yes baby!" Marcus groaned as he finally finished coming.

Marcus growled and pulled her up to him and kissed her. "Fuck baby that was amazing." Marcus growled again and with a blur had her on her back with her legs spread. He slid two fingers deep inside her as he spread her lips to see her clit. He flicked it with his thumb and heard her whimper."You like that baby?"

Marcus teased her by thrusting his fingers slowly in and out of her until he finally started thrusting in and out of her hitting her g-spot. He clamped his mouth over her clit and flicked it continually with his tongue. Meridian cried out and he had to hold her hips down as she kept coming. Marcus finally slowed down and let her come down from her orgasms. "I love you Meridian."

"I love you Marcus." Meridian curled up to Marcus as he pulled her close wrapping his arms around her possessively.

~~~~~~

Meridian awoke remembering she wanted to take Alex to see the doctor again. Just to be safe she grabbed Trinity and they all went for a last minute check up.

Meridian noticed the Alex was still extremely tired and looked like she was hurting. They slipped out of the house and went for the check up. Alex sat in the other room letting Meridian and Trinity go first. This was not a highlight to her day. All she wanted was to go to sleep and let the memories of this pass.

Finally the sisters finished and pulled Alex in to see the doctor. "I'm fine this is really unnecessary."

"You will have a check up just to be safe. I don't like that you are still in pain and I want to make sure you don't have an infection." Meridian stared at her until she gave in.

"Fine, but I do this by myself. I appreciate you holding my hand last time Meridian but I'll be fine alone this time." Meridian and Trinity nodded and left the room.

The doctor came in and took blood like usual. "Your sisters say you are having pain still and you're tired. It can all be part of this. This kind of pregnancy and termination is still very much unknown. Completely rare and we don't have a lot of ideas on how it works. We are flying blind so don't get mad if we are overly doting to make sure the termination went smoothly." Alex just shook her head in misery and anger. The doctor clutched her hand and squeezed it. "You know we do this because we all care. Do you know how astounding it is you found your sisters and how close you have become?"

"I know. I just feel off. My emotions are all over the place. I feel alone. The pregnancy, though I couldn't do it alone, I regret not having someone to be by my side while I do have children. I don't want to be alone." Alex started to sob loudly. "I don't know what I ever did to deserve these horrific things. I still don't feel I deserved what Jean did and what happened with Logan still confuses me. Less than four hours earlier he said he loved me and wanted to be with me. I feel like a dim-witted teenager unable to see asshole he was. A man just lying and saying he loved me to get laid."

Meridian and Trinity could hear the weeping and feel her pain. Trinity had to hold Meridian back so she didn't barge through the exam doors.

"How about we focus on getting you better? I don't think you are confused or naïve about Logan and you're just trying to blame yourself. As far as you being strong enough, you have been plenty strong. After what you went through before this I highly recommend you lean on your sisters. That's what they are for. Talk to them. Let them in to your feelings. Now let's get this exam done so you can go home and get some rest."

"Please tell me you won't do anything too vicious this time. I always hate this." Alex said as the doctor chuckled.

The doctor proceeded to do the exam and check everything out. He ran an ultrasound to make sure everything was clear. After the third time of doing the ultrasound he finally just shook his head dumbfounded.

"What's wrong? I can tell by you shaking your head." Alex just stared at him wondering what he wasn't telling her.

"I need to check your blood work with nurse and I will be right back." He clutched her hand and let it go before he left the room.

"Sure, I need more complications." Alex rubbed her head. She had a headache that wouldn't go away lately too. Her sisters walked in for a few minutes until the doctor came back. "He's checking some blood work. I've gone through hell and something is off. They never show this shit on the pregnancy commercials!" Alex huffed in irritation. "They should be realistic, say 'pregnant and he's a wanker 'he knocked you up and now he's ditching your ass' 'he drank too much, can't hold a job and you're doing this alone' 'he's mentally and emotionally unavailable and unstable, you're pregnant run Forest run'."