Part 3: Customer Support
Charlie left Tam in the kitchen to recuperate as he headed to the bedroom to get the discarded bag from Fetishes'. Charlie had no idea what was going on. Somehow his anniversary celebrations with his darling wife had turned into the longest sexapades he had ever known. His wife was now the most sexually sensual creature he had ever encountered, her entire body was now built for sex, and she craved it. Constantly.
The Sales girl (...er...elf girl?) from the shop said that if he had any questions he should give them a call. The number would be on the card in the bag. Charlie found the bag discarded by the side of the bed fortunately the bag still contained his receipt and the small business card.
Fetishes': Charm and Totems direct
Making your fantasies reality
Earth bound location, East Side Mall
In the bottom corner of the card: a long distance number. Reaching over to his night stand he picked up his cell phone preparing to call the number. He had better rates on his cell phone than the old land line. Besides he could not let Tam stay like this, a few phone charges be dammed. Tam was no longer the woman he had married, but instead some sexed up fantasy version of her. She could not lead a life like this; she would have work Tuesday (Gods bless three day weekends)
It took a moment for the number to connect; it seemed a brief eternity before a voice echoed across the other end of the line. Charlie was expecting a foreigner with a heavy accent. That was not what he got. Instead it was the clear voice of a woman, a woman who sounded out a breath and quite happy about it.
***
In a teal and seemingly empty room a woman sits in the center, beneath the only source of illumination. At first glance she would appear to be naked sitting in a dormant slumber upon a chair as if just waiting. A closer look such a sight required would reveal that she is in fact only nearly nude. Small phone wires wrap around her body as if it were some kind of erotic costume, each one color coded for a different number that they all connected to on a phone box lying innocently at the girl's feet. She looked demur and calm in the tranquil beauty that only a young woman can possess while she slumbers.
Suddenly the silence is interrupted as the box at her feet rings, the electronic sounds of a classic modem springing the girl to life. Her body shutters as if in pain but is in fact intense pleasure waking her from her catnap.
***
"Thank you far calling -ehh- the Fetishes' Hotline." From the way the voice talked it was clear that she was enjoying herself.
"For a –uhh- list of locations on your plane press 1"
"For rebate and warranty –ohh- press 2"
"To request a catalog press 3"
"For all other please press pound," The girl's heavy breathing came over the line waiting for Charlie. Not knowing what to do Charlie pressed pound.
"OH!!!" Came the woman's voice the instant Charlie pressed the button.
"For an increase in penile vascular flow press 1"
"For specific questions on duration press 2"
"For compatibility listings press 3" What was all this? This sounded more like a sex line that a customer support center. Guessing randomly Charlie pressed 1.
"OHHH! ... OH" the woman regained her breath. "Operation successful! If you require any other assistance please press any key; otherwise please hang up."
Charlie pressed a button, still a bit confused and quite sure he was not getting anywhere.
"Please, enter your PIN. When you are done press the pound key." What Pin? Charlie looked the card over for this mysterious number. What the hell was it?
"Please, enter your Planer Identification Number. When you are done press the pound key." The woman repeated a little more calmly. *Planer* Identification Number? Charlie had not flown in nearly a year, what did Planes have to do with anything?
"I don't know any Planer Identification Number...." Charlie said into the phone.
"That Ok, what dimension are you residing in?" the woman answered back. Wait. This was a real person? What the hell was he pushing buttons for?!
"If you can hear me why am I pressing buttons?!?!" Some questions are best asked aloud.
"Because, I love having my buttons pushed!" the girl squealed back. "Now please key in the numbers... please." The slight tone of begging was beginning to creep into her voice.
"I don't now what the numbers are!" Charlie was so confused.
"Well, sounds like personal problem, hmm, dial in your birthrate." Charlie began pushing numbers. With each press the woman cooed, sighed or moaned in pleasure.
"OK now what?"
"Oh nothing, I just needed some *motivation*, you should remember that though, if you don't know what buttons to push it is better to push something, than nothing at all." She answered playfully as she regained her breath.
"UH huh"
"Please key in the name of your planet" Charlie did so. "Okay, what is your problem?"
"My wife she has been transformed! She is some kind of sex freak now! She is like some weird erotic fantasy creature, she can't stop fucking!" Charlie hoped he was getting somewhere now.