Factors of Change

Well. Life caught up with me. I'm very sorry for taking so long in updating, but as an apology for this slightly belated Christmas gift, I made this chapter the longest I have written to date (but don't get used to it). There are also a few things in there that were a long time coming; I hope you'll appreciate!

Thank you for your feedback and your votes. Thank you, also, for not requesting that I update ASAP and for being so understanding in your various comments. You are the reason I work hard on this. And finally, thank you Doctime, for generously giving up Holiday time to edit this chapter and help me make it better.

Enjoy!

Chapter 7

We spent the entire day at the hospital. As the late afternoon turned into evening, I watched through the window while the sky slowly faded to dark. Gabriel did try at one point to have me driven back home, but I refused to go. No matter where I would be, I would be waiting. I would much rather wait with him and the others than all by myself, not knowing what was going on.

At some point, someone brought Marie back to wait with us. She introduced herself to me and I invited her to sit on the plastic chair next to mine while we did some small talk. I could tell by the way she kept looking at the closed door that all she wanted to do was to go to her husband's side, in the room next to us. She didn't ask for anyone to let her in, though; a sure sign that she had already been told what had happened. We lapsed into silence a short while after our polite introductions, and her thoughtful gaze went once again to the closed door of Joseph's room. "So how does it work?" she asked softly so that only I would hear. There weren't many of us in the hallway; the doctor was gone for now and a young Were nurse came to check on the patient now and again, quickly crossing the hallway in front of us, but besides her, there was only also Gabriel, standing about twenty feet away, and Cedric, who had stayed as well. They had been chatting quietly in French for the better part of the past hour. I wondered what they were talking about. "Your mating thing?" Marie continued. "I thought Weres who were once human couldn't be mated; I remember Gabriel told us that once day."

"Ah," I let out hesitantly. "We aren't mated, actually."

She arched an eyebrow at me. "But you

are

together."

"Yes, but we aren't... we haven't tried to..." I could feel a dark blush creep up my neck, and felt like a parent explaining the bees and the flowers to a child. "Mates need to mark each other. With a mating bite."

Her mouth opened slightly in surprise, but she quickly closed it, and frowned. "But... Joey was bitten."

"Yes, but that's not the same thing." I tucked back a curl behind my ear. "That made him turn into a Were, but it hasn't mated him to anyone. You can't bite whoever you want and mate with someone unless they're your real mate. It just won't work. I was bitten too, and so was Gabriel, but not by our mates."

"Oh." She looked back towards Gabriel. "You said you hadn't tried biting each other... is it because you don't think he's your real mate?" she asked, and looked back at me, a worried look in her pretty eyes. "Is it because there's a chance it might not work?"

A cold fist wrapped itself around my heart at her words, squeezing tightly. Turned Weres had never mated, but it had never occurred to me that it might be because the mating bond simply never established itself between couples. Had Turned Weres found each other before, but could never truly mate? That was a terrifying thought. How disappointing it would be! "No," I said softly, and glanced back towards Gabriel.

No

, I thought.

It will work.

I did feel the incredible pull. I could smell his real scent, see him in a way no one else could. I

was

convinced he was my mate, and felt positive that he did as well. Surely it would work. "That's not why. I... well I had never thought of it that way."

"Oh I'm sorry," she whispered, her eyes widening. "I didn't mean to worry you. He just seems so taken with you." I looked back at her, and she gave me a soft smile. "It's nice to finally see him like this."

I smiled back. "Is that why you're asking me these questions? You shouldn't worry about him."

"I'm worried about Joseph," she said, and bit her lower lip. "Now that he's a Were, does that mean that I have to... well... to be like him, for us to be together?"

"Oh, Marie," I said softly. "No. He's different physically, but it won't change how he feels about you."

I hope you're not lying to her

, my wolf said sadly. I bit hard on my lower lip, but before I could continue, a loud crash from the inside of Joey's room made us all jump. Gabriel and Cedric instantly ran over to the door, and I followed behind Marie as she scrambled to her feet and hurried over to look through the wire cast window. She gasped and took a step back, slamming into my chest; my hands went up in reflex to steady her and I looked through the window over her shoulder, knowing very well what I would see.

A very large black wolf lay on the ground next to the overturned bed. It looked more confused than menacing, its amber eyes darting to and fro as it took in its strange surroundings, but it snarled instantly when it looked up into the window and saw us, displaying an impressive row of sharp white teeth. Turned or not, Joey was an impressive Were. "Oh my goodness," Marie whispered, turning around in my arms to hide her face in my neck. "Oh my God, no."

"Don't!" warned Cedric's voice right behind me. I turned my head around and saw Gabriel, as he was reaching for the door handle. He stopped and glared at Cedric.

"What?"

Cedric clenched his jaw and pointed at the window. "

Gabriel

,

il est paniqué, il ne t'écoutera pas. N'entre pas là-dedans

," he said. I couldn't understand most of it, but the warning in his tone was obvious. I wondered if it was worry that made him revert back to French, or if he simply wanted to spare making Marie more upset than she clearly already was.

Or maybe he simply doesn't give a damn about Marie and you right now

, my wolf added helpfully, stating the obvious. I had to agree with Cedric, though; going in the room with a possibly rogue wolf seemed like a bad idea. "Give 'im time."

Gabriel stared firmly at him, hesitating only a split second. There was a vicious snarl and a loud thump that shook the door, though, and he tightened his jaw. "He will listen," he said stubbornly, and nodded towards the two of us before he turned the door handle and yanked it open. Cedric didn't say another word and moved closer to me with a huff, pulling me back along with Marie so that we stood behind him.

The black wolf had jumped back when the door opened and had backed up a bit, and now stood next to the overturned bed. It had set angry, burning amber eyes on Gabriel and crouched low to the ground, its chest rumbling with a loud warning growl. It didn't pounce instantly, though, and while Cedric's hand tightened convulsively on my upper arm as Gabriel took a cautious step closer to the wolf, I expected him to do much more than that if he thought there might be a real threat to Gabriel.

He's the Alpha

, my wolf reminded me.

Of course he'll be fine.

"Joey." Gabriel's voice was low and soothing. The thick, acrid scent of fear was heavy in the air, though, and the wolf only reacted by growling louder. "Shift back," Gabriel told him in a quiet tone. It held no hint of command, though—perhaps he was simply testing the grounds.

The wolf didn't shift back. It only lowered itself to the ground a bit more and snarled as it coiled its body in preparation to pounce. It probably happened in a split second, but it felt to me like everything was in slow motion as the wolf jumped at Gabriel—and the open door.

Gabriel reacted instantly, moving swiftly to the side and backward in a graceful manoeuver to place himself between the wolf and us, as it landed in the hallway with a scratch of claws on the tiled floor, slipping and snarling as it tried to jump again. "Stop it!" Gabriel barked at him, and this time the sound of his voice rang all the way through to my bones. I froze, even though the command wasn't even directed at me, and so did Cedric, who had been prepared to lunge forward to help.

And, surprisingly enough, so did the wolf. It stood on shaking paws, its chest heaving, but it froze, staring at Gabriel with a look that was a mix of anger, confusion, and yet, anticipation. It was listening. I let out a deep breath I hadn't realized I was holding. "Now," Gabriel said, his tone still laced with command, "shift

back

."

There were several long seconds where nothing happened, but a deep shudder suddenly went through the wolf's spine, and it curled up with a whine as its body slowly went through the painful business of shifting back for the first time. I turned and quickly ran into the room to grab one of the blankets that had been on the floor, and returned to Joseph's curled up human form just as Gabriel kneeled next to him. I gently draped the blue blanket over his naked body, and he shuddered deeply before he slowly lifted his head and straightened up. He looked up at me, blinking beautiful brandy coloured eyes at me for a moment before he shifted his glance to his wife, who was still standing next to Cedric a few feet away. "Marie?" he let out uncertainly, and she gave a soft gasp before stepping forward, dropping to her knees in front of him, and collapsing into broken sobs as she fell into her husband's arms.

***

I wasn't sure what to do. In the short time I had known Gabriel, I had always seen him relaxed, confident, and smiling. This new situation introduced me to another side of him that I hadn't seen before. He was now not just a potential mate or a friend. He was the Alpha, and a torn one at that.

A rogue would have to be put down. There was no record anywhere in Were history of a rogue having been saved and brought back into a pack. It wasn't clear, at least to me, what actually happened in a Were's mind when they went rogue, but in the light of William's explanation of his brain theory, I could only suppose that the mind simply started listening exclusively to the wolf's instinct, and no longer to the human conscience.

It was a dreading thought, when you stopped to consider it. What

did

happen then to the human conscience? Was it truly gone? Had it really disappeared, leaving nothing behind but a scared, confused, dangerously and mentally wounded beast? Or was it still there, held captive in the darkness of the mind by the animal instinct, unable to speak, but able to witness the horror of the situation, and yet helpless to stop any of it? In the first scenario, killing the rogue was a necessary evil. In the latter... it seemed to me more like mercy.

Joseph hadn't gone rogue, not yet. His wolf's reaction to Gabriel's command had been positive and I had good hopes that it would end up well. But I was still very worried. Joseph had a lot more to lose from becoming a werewolf than I had when I was attacked. Also, while my turning had been an accident due to me being at the wrong place at the wrong time, Joseph's turning was a calculated move, meant to send Gabriel a clear message that no one was safe. It was done to hit him directly.

And I could tell he blamed himself for it.

After getting Joseph settled safely for the night with a watch of his own and giving strict orders to send for him if his friend involuntarily shifted again, Gabriel had wordlessly taken my hand and led me down to his car. We were back at his home now, and it was very late. I'd taken the initiative of opening a bottle of red wine from the small wine cellar in the kitchen, and joined Gabriel in the living room where he now pensively sat on the couch. He hadn't turned on the lights, so I left the lights on in the kitchen behind me as I made my way towards him and sat down next to him. He automatically took the glass as I handed it out to him and absentmindedly twirled the wine around in his glass a few times before taking a healthy mouthful of it. He was silent and somber, and I had run out of things to say to try and make things better. Truth be told, I wasn't at all sure that I

could

make things better.

"I told Cedric to go ahead to the lake and join the pack," he said in a barely audible voice. "I cannot always make it there, so they probably will not suspect anything wrong."

"Alright... but what will you do, Gabriel?" I asked him softly. "Where will you take him? He can't stay at the hospital."

"I don't know, Leah. I don't." He shook his head and set his glass down on the table before resting his elbows on his knees. "Leah, when you were turned...What kept you from..." He stopped and pressed his lips together tightly for a long moment. I silently stared at him, waiting for him to finish. "I

am

sorry to ask, Lili. But I need to understand. I need to know what I can do to help him."

"I had my family," I said without hesitation. "They knew nothing about what I was going through, of course, but... They were there for me. My father, my brother... I kept doing my job, seeing my friends. They all kept me human. It was easier, then, to try and find a way to figure out my wolf on my own." He turned his head to look at me and I set my glass down, scooted closer and reached for one of his hands, lacing our fingers together. "He's going to be scared of losing his family, Gab, or of not being able to be with them. Don't let him think that. It won't matter how much power you have on his wolf now, nothing will keep him from turning rogue if he's allowed to think that he's lost everything he cared for the most."

He nodded and looked down at our linked hands. "I will talk to him." He squeezed my fingers gently, giving me a sideways glance. "I had no idea you had a brother."

"Yeah." I looked down as well, and a sudden urge to change the subject bubbled up in my chest. I choked it back, tightening my fingers around Gabriel's for comfort. We would never get anywhere together, I thought, if we knew nothing about each other. "Andrew," I said softly. "He's younger, but only by a year. I don't know where he is now." I swallowed. "Where he is in his life, I mean. He's probably in Philly, with my dad." Gabriel tugged on my arm to draw me closer, and I let him pull me over to curl up on his lap. I closed my eyes and snuggled up against his chest as he wrapped his arms around me, and sighed softly. "Thank you," I whispered. "I haven't seen them in so long. I thought you were supposed to forget someone's face after 20 years, but I remember them as if I'd left yesterday."

"Werewolves have a good memory," he said, smiling against my hair.

"Do our brain cells regenerate as well?" I asked him as I tucked my face in his neck. "Like everything else?"

He let out a breathless chuckle. "I suppose so." He said no more and I shut my eyes, moving a bit in his arms to find a cozier position. We settled into a comfortable silence and I could feel him finally relax a bit beneath me, his arm around my shoulders growing heavier, his breathing gradually slowing. I let my guard down then, letting a sleepless night and an emotional day take their toll on me as sleep slowly took us both.

***

I slept like the dead, and woke up confused in a soft, warm bed, wrapped up to my ears with heavy blankets. The light was dim around me, but enough drifted through the cracks between the heavy curtains to lead me to think the night had already turned to morning. The window had been left open and let in a soft breeze that stirred the curtains, and I could hear the patter of soft rain outside against the young leaves in the trees, and the swish of the tires of a passing car on the wet street below.

I could also hear the deep breath of the man sleeping next to me, his body giving off heat like a furnace under the thick blankets. I turned on my side to look up at Gabriel; he slept on his back, one arm thrown over his eyes, the other laying over the blankets at his side. He was shirtless, I noticed, and only then paid attention to the fact I had been stripped down to my t-shirt and panties. I must have been sleeping deeply, I thought with some embarrassment, for him to be able to carry me all the way to his bedroom and strip me of most of my clothes, without me even waking up. I scooted closer to him to snuggle up to his side, and laid my head down on his chest. He stirred slightly as I snaked an arm over his stomach to wrap around him, and his arm slipped from over his eyes to automatically wrap around my shoulders. He didn't wake up, though, and relaxed again with a deep sigh once we were settled, relapsing into a light sleep.

His chest rose and fell under my cheek as I listened to the slow, steady beating of his heart. Two weeks. I had known him only two weeks, one of which I had just spent away from him. Although for werewolf standards it was more than enough, and even though I had managed to accept what I was and what

we

were for each other, my human mind kept struggling with the fact that I was a hair away from making a life changing decision.

Where would you be now?

the soft voice of my wolf echoed in my mind.

If you hadn't met him on that fateful day... where would you be, this morning?

It was a good question, and I didn't answer right away. If I was going to be honest with myself, the past two weeks suddenly felt like a lot more than that, and it seemed to me like it had been months, not days, since I had met Gabriel. I supposed the incredible emotional cocktail of confusion, desire, excitement, lust and, more recently, fear I had been going through had something to do with that.

His hand suddenly tightened around the curve of my shoulder, breaking through my thoughts. "Stop squirming," he said in a hoarse whisper.

I chuckled softly, tilting up my face to look at him. "Sorry. I was caught up in my thoughts."

He snorted softly and yawned widely, stretching out both arms above his head before resuming our position with a sigh and turning his head to nuzzle my hair. "Mmm," he replied sleepily. "What were you thinking about?"

"About you," I said softly. "What would've happened, if I hadn't met you."

He didn't reply right away, but I felt his body tighten into awareness against mine. His voice, too, had lost any last remnants of sleepiness when he spoke again. "And what

would

have happened?"

"Nothing." I moved my hand to his chest and kept my eyes on it as I let the tip of my fingers delicately trace through the fine, soft blond hairs that dusted his skin. "As opposed to everything that's actually happened in the past two weeks," I whispered, "nothing would have happened. At all."

I felt him turn his head to glance down at me, but I didn't dare look up. His hand moved from my shoulder to my hair and he gently smoothed my dark, curly mane back from my face. "What does that even mean, Lili?"

I hesitated, struggling for words, but he was patient, as always. I let the silence stretch a few heartbeats longer, before I pushed myself up on my left elbow and looked down at him, my hair spilling down over my shoulder. Gabriel was looking up at me, waiting for me to speak. His hazel eyes were bright and clear, but his face looked taunt and tired, and I reached up with my free hand to gently trace his jaw. "It means that I would have gone to work, every day, as I always had before," I answered softly. "I would probably be at the compound right now, pestering against the rain on my tent, remembering how much I hate driving in that kind of weather, thinking about how the weather channel lied when they said it would be a nice weekend. I wouldn't know anything about what happened to Joey, because I wouldn't know anything about him at all. I wouldn't be thinking or worrying about those so-called rogues wanting to hurt you. It wouldn't scare me like it does now," I ended, swallowing hard, "because I wouldn't have any reason to worry about it." Gabriel's eyebrows drew down into a frown.