[This is a work of fiction. The story is an unadulterated and unabashed attempt to tickle male fantasies and perhaps some female fantasies as well. As such, the story may or may not totally conform to reality. All locations, events, and characters are entirely fictitious and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.]
*****
"I tell you, I did too! I did see her."
"No way, man, no fuckin' way."
"I know what I saw, T.J., I know what I saw. She was plain as day, standin' in the full moon light, naked as a jaybird, up on that fuckin' little third floor balcony. Plain as God damn, fuckin' day."
"Naked you say. Ummm. When did you see this?"
"Two nights ago."
"What the fuck you doin' out there on Three Mile Road in the first place, Bones?"
"I had to run some stuff from the store out to old man Jones. He lives four more miles out on that road. I was on my way back into town when I saw her."
"Well, Bones, I just fuckin' don't believe you. That place is an abandoned junk heap. Haunted, if you believe stories like the one you just tole. I'll tell you what, I dare you to take me out there and show me!"
"DONE!"
"You know it's Halloween, Bones. You ain't 'fraid of a haunted house are you?"
"Hell, no, let's go."
So, T.J. and I piled into my '57 Chevy and hauled ass for the abandoned Blanchard Mansion about a mile or so out on Three Mile Road. It was Halloween night, 1958, and we had noting better to do. We would do our own little version of "trick or treating."
T.J. and I were both eighteen and due to graduate from good old CTHS in the spring. Our girlfriends were off doing some "girl thing" with a group of their friends, so T.J. and I were left to our own devices for the night. More like vices."
When we got there, we paused in front of the house and looked it over. The country road was free of vehicles.
"See, Bones, no bodies visible, anywhere."
"But look up at the upper balcony. What's that eerie glow?"
"Just the friggin' moonlight, Bones, just the friggin' moonlight. Jesus."
"If you say so, T.J."
I turned into the decayed and overgrown remains of the old driveway and pulled the car around behind the house to stop in front of the old carriage house. No use in drawing attention of the cops on this night by leaving the car out front on the road. We were between the old carriage house and the newer garage that had been built onto the back of the house in later days.
We got out of the car. There were no doors on the side of the house, so we walked around the garage to three steps that led us down into a little sunken patio area with the house back door close at hand. With a little effort, we forced the door to open, albeit, slowly. The loud, eerie creaking sound of the hinges raised the hair on the back of my neck.
"Creepy, huh J.T."
"Scared, Bones?"
"Me? Not a chance," I lied.
"Me either," replied T.J. in a somewhat shaky voice.
We both held flashlights. We turned them on in a simultaneous click of switches. Shining the lights around, we surveyed what appeared to be some sort of kitchen/eating area.
The large room was empty of any furniture, but filled with cob webs and bits of junk scattered around the room. Dilapidated wall cabinets hung in dejected ruin of their former glory, several doors hanging awkwardly by one hinge. Two doors lay completely loose, one on the counter top and one on the floor.
Avoiding the large hole in the center of the floor, T.J. and I opened the first door to our right. It was a small, almost triangular corner room. The layout indicated a small storage area or possibly a pantry. A large rat scurried to a hole in the wall and disappeared.
"I don't see any naked women yet, Bones."
"Oh shut up. Pay attention to where you step."
The next door opened into a short hallway with a utility room off one side and a half bath off the other side. I was looking into the furnace room when T.J. shouted from the doorway of the other room.
"Hey Bones, quick. I got a naked girl on the pot in here!"
I walked over and looked in as T.J. stepped back. He held his breath for a couple of heartbeats until he heard me open my mouth. then he roared with laughter.
"There's no one in here," I croaked.
"But you sure did get your ass over here real quick, Bones. Ha-ha-ha-ha."
"Shit, man, quit the clowning, God damn it."
A look through the open door at the other end of the short hall revealed a large room with a fireplace dividing it from another room. We retreated back out into the kitchen area when I suddenly heard a car out on the road.
"Douse you light, quick. We don't need anybody stopping to investigate."
Both lights went out and we stood silently listening in the glow of the moonlit room. The car roared on by. As we turned our lights back on, a floor board creaked, loudly. I turned to look in the direction of the sound.
"God damn it, T.J., look at that!"
"Look at what where?"
I thought I had seen a naked foot disappear through the doorway leading out of the kitchen into the rest of the house.
Looking in the direction I pointed my flashlight beam, T.J. said, "Don't see a damned thing. What was I suppose ta see?"
"Saw a bare foot disappear into the next room,. At least that's what I thought I saw."
"Huh, I never saw a foot walking without a leg or a body, Bones."
"Very funny, T.J., I think it was attached."
"To what?"
"Didn't see, but let's keep looking around, maybe we'll find out."
We left the kitchen and entered the near el shaped hallway-come-foyer. It was relatively short and we saw where it ended by the front entrance. On our right rose the stairs leading up and on our left, were two sets of French doors leading into a semi-round area. Only a bit of glass remained in the door frames. Broken glass littered the dinning room floor here as well as over on the other side of the room by the broken out windows.
Evidently this was a dinning room. The huge table, sadly decrepit, still stood in the center of the room with a broken down chair set scattered around it. The tattered, rotting remains of a fancy table cloth lay in place on the table. The cloth was held in place by an elegant candelabra holding nearly used up candles in its tarnished, eight circular sockets. More sad reminders of former better days.
We crossed the foyer into a large room with a fireplace separating in from another large room behind. I recognized the room behind the fireplace as the room I had seen earlier from the open door of the little hallway.
"Hey, T.J. I know what this is. This is the front parlor and that's the back parlor behind the fireplace. Just like at Grandma's house, the one she inherited from her mother. The 'back' parlor was the one used by the family on a daily basis. The 'front' parlor was strictly hands off. No one got in there for any reason except for Sunday afternoon visits, like by the preacher, or for funeral wakes or some other very special occasion. Otherwise, you'd better not get caught in the 'front' parlor."
Two sets of walnut double doors, ornately carved and decorated, framed the fireplace on either side to form a "wall" that separated the two rooms. I could hardly believe those beautiful doors still hung in place as if they had just been installed. Both sets stood open to reveal the back parlor
I turned around and started for the foyer. T.J. was just turning to follow me.
"Fuckin' God damn," I yelled in a hoarse and cracking voice."
"Double fuckin' God damn," echoed T.J. in an equally strained voice.