CHAPTER 32
I told Ezra what had happened and hoped that he would have some insight about it, but all he said was that he would think about it. Which I should have known. I squinted my eyes as we walked into the well lit lobby of the hotel.
His eyes bored into me with warning. "Enjoy your last night without me."
I leaned in close and whispered into his ear, "I am not your pet and you are not my keeper." I moved in closer until the front of our bodies touched, "Nor are you to me."
Ezra became completely still, not even a breath stirred his chest. I turned and walked to the elevator, rubbing my head in an inadequate attempt to make the pain inside of it go away. It was later, when I was in the room and climbing into bed, that I felt a renewed flash of flame sear through me. I fell onto the mattress gasping for breath as a trail of unseen fire moved in and around me. Sweat beaded on my forehead and I swiped it out of my eyes. Groaning, I pushed my hand in my mouth to keep my agony from voicing itself.
Moments of time passed that I couldn't remember. Between them I crawled to the bathroom and climbed into the bath tub. I kept repeating to myself that I would not call Taurin to ease the fire inside of me. I bet Ezra was counting on my hesitation. I was almost 100 percent sure that this was his doing. I would rather it be his doing then the thought that I had completely fried my magic and it was only now burning itself to a crisp.
The cold water soaked through my clothes and I barely noticed. I sat in the tub in a daze while incomplete thoughts and memories flooded my mind. 'What the hell am I doing with two demons?' and 'I'm a killer.' were the dominate ones. The fire came back with force. My collar bone and shoulder burned. I clumsily tore my t-shirt off and looked at my smoking skin.
More scales were appearing and burning themselves into my skin. I thrashed in the water and submerged myself to ease the pain. I pushed up through the water, gasping for breath and watching steam rise off the surface. Scales covered half of my neck, down to my hip, and over one breast. Stubbornly I refused to send even the faintest link that I wanted help from either of them. Then something inside uncurled and ran throughout me with fire on each limb. Inside and out I burned. Steam fogged the mirror and I leaned over the tub and passed out.
I woke to Ezra asking Taurin if all was ready. He leaned over me and I stared into his eyes. "Satisfied?" I coughed out of a dry throat.
"Dove," he gently cradled my chin in his hand, "I am your keeper."
I tried to laugh or even argue, but didn't have the energy to. "Then take me home," I barely whispered instead as he gathered me into his arms.
"I am," he said resolutely. "We're going my way this time." Ezra took a deep breath and seemed to slide sideways. Vertigo slammed into me and I groaned, passing out again. I awoke to see Ezra sitting in a chair next to the bed. He put down his magazine on his lap and looked over at me immediately.
"Before you ask, you have two demons'... I hesitate to say marks since that denotes servant, but rather we put a piece of our magic inside of you. They seem to be," he smiled with irony, "fighting with one another for dominance." My eyes widened and I opened my mouth to speak, but he held up a hand to forestall me.
"It seems I am winning. Which is no surprise to either Taurin or myself. Did you find yourself freezing at all last night in the bath tub?"
I paused to think about it. I cleared my throat and said, "No."
"Mmm hmm."
"Are you and Taurin aware of this fight going on inside of me?"
"We theorized it. We are aware when our magic is amped up and not within ourselves."
"So you knew there was something going on last night, but waited to check it out?!"
"I wanted you to deal with it yourself. After all, it is a part of you now. If you are unable to acclimate to it then I will be your keeper for as long as you are alive, simply to keep you sane. It was only when Taurin and I felt you completely black out that I allowed him to go to you. I wanted to stay away, but he was going and I would not let him go to you without me."
My face tightened in anger, "You two are using me as a pawn for your power struggle! I don't fucking believe this! Aaaarrrggg!" I roared.
He shrugged.
I looked up to see Taurin leaning on the door frame, arms crossed. "Not only that, but you're telling me that I might go crazy because of this bullshit! What is wrong with you two?!" I rolled out of bed and went to the bathroom, slamming the door.
I heard Taurin laugh and say, "She took that rather well."
"You guys are shit heads! Go fuck yourselves!" I yelled through the door.
"I find that Dove has a calming influence on me," came Ezra's reply.
Taurin laughed again, "You're serious!"
I opened the door, tired of listening to them through it. "Get out of my bedroom, you... you... Rrrrggg!" I slammed the door again.
I looked down at my shoulder and noticed that the scales were back to their small patch on my skin. I needed a teacher to show me if there was a way to block Ezra and Taurin off. The only person I knew who had first hand knowledge was Zanzibar. I showered, changed, and headed into the kitchen to get the phone book. I ignored both of them as I furiously flipped through the yellow pages. Whipping out my cell I walked outside and dialed the number to the club. I left a message for Zanzibar asking for a meeting or at least for him to call back. I walked back into the kitchen, shoving my cell in my jean pocket.
Back in the living room I watched Ezra make small colored flames dance and whirl above his palm. His eyes moved to me and the flames whizzed away from his palm to dance around me. "They like you. They approve of my choice."
My lip curled slightly, "You're controlling them."
"In a way, but you should know, especially after last night, that fire has a will of its own too."
I sighed heavily and leaned against the wall. "I'm going after Oldavai."
Ezra raised his eyebrows. "Now?"
"Yes. It would be good for me to go after one problem at a time and you and Taurin aren't going anywhere."
Ezra smiled and narrowed his eyes, "No. We are not going anywhere."
I stormed to the back yard, small colored flames dancing around me. I grabbed my blade off the kitchen table and twirled it around in my hand as I continued walking. When I got out into the sunlight I continued twirling the blade in ritual. I stabbed it forcefully into the earth and threw out my power to find Oldavai.
My breathing became deeper and slower the longer I stayed. The whole world was my destination. I scented him out, but he was moving through different dimensions. These were the places of Taurin's Ice Fields and Ezra's dragons and he was moving unbelievably fast. I would barely catch a glimpse of him before he was gone. The glimpse was like looking through moving water. I had no distinct image as to what he looked like.
Even when I caught up to him I couldn't tell what he looked like, his being a blur. He looked up at a sign I couldn't understand on a four story building. His hands touched the old stones as he walked around the building, searching. He bent down low and traced a symbol etched into the wall. His hand beckoned me to look at it. "You see this, demon hunter? I will find out who and where you are. This will tell me and I will be hunting you." He chuckled and vanished.
I shook myself back to my body to find the sun had set. I pulled my blade out of the ground and walked into the kitchen to rummage up a sandwich. The house felt strangely empty. I checked my cell and listened to a message from Zanzibar saying that I could meet him in two days at 3 p.m. in his office or on the phone. I called back and left a message agreeing to be there. I walked to the meditating room and lit four of the candles, placing them around me. Sitting on the mat I stared into the fire only to find that it stirred Ezra's magic inside of me. Unused to the sensation I hastily closed my eyes and concentrated on my breath instead. I imagined a thick fog warding my spirit and stayed there quieting my thoughts. A pleasant smell invaded my meditation and I sniffed trying to place it. I opened my eyes to a room full of dissipating fog, much as I imagined inside myself. My magic was changing faster than I could control or even understand. I stood up and scanned the room for anything unfamiliar. Finding nothing, I left the room, the unidentified scent faintly following me into my bedroom. The scent faded as I made myself ready for sleep. Without either of the demons nearby I found myself relaxing. My muscles unknotted around the shoulders and neck.
I sighed and crawled on to the bed picking up the magazine that Ezra had left on the quilt. Flipping through it I read articles about the underground world while waiting for drowsiness to overcome me. I placed the magazine down in my lap when my thoughts moved to Regina. I wondered if she was completely delusional or if I needed to look out for an "angel" who was interested in changing me. From there my thoughts became even more depressing as I wondered about the state of my soul.
I had killed someone and felt conflicting emotions. I knew I was defending myself and I felt that I was in the right, but... then why did I hide the evidence? I didn't cry over my decision to kill her, was that moral behavior? I never cried over the demons I killed, did that count? My thoughts chased themselves around and around in my head until I screamed out my frustration. Of course, Ezra choose that moment to enter the house. He slowly walked into the bedroom and gave me an analyzing stare.
CHAPTER 33
"Ahhh! No, I'm not going crazy so quit looking at my like that!" I picked up the magazine and threw it across the room. Ezra was tilting my face up to look in my eyes before it fluttered and smacked the wall.
He studied me some more despite my efforts to wretch my chin from his grip. When my hand circled his wrist he finally spoke. He spoke softly. "No. Something is bothering you though."
His other hand came up to smooth away the frown lines from my forehead and I found myself obliging to that touch. He moved onto the bed, pushing me over to the other side. As he turned over onto his stomach I let him grab me around the waist. I remained complacent with the movement that shoved me partly underneath him so that I was staring up into his galaxy of stars.
I shook my head and gave a small smile, "Why is it that with even the simplest movements you must somehow assert yourself over me?"
Ezra merely tilted his head and gave me his own smile, "Tell me what is going on in that mind of yours."
I shook my head at him again. "What is going on in here?" I tapped my skull. "The state of my soul maybe. The consequences of killing a woman and fellow demon hunter. What's going on with me. Have I lost my morals? Do I even know what good and evil really are? What's so different from her doing whatever it was she was doing to demons and me killing them? The law?" I gave a heavy sigh.
Ezra chuckled. "You would worry about these things."
"I didn't even cry when I killed her. I don't cry when I kill demons."
"Killing is an assertion of power. A validation that you will live another day, at least when it comes to you killing, Dove. Your lack of tears means nothing to me, nor should it to you."
"I still feel like I should feel some sort of remorse and I feel miserable because I don't!"
Ezra shrugged.
I grew frustrated with him and sat up against the wall. "You won't go after Melous. How would you feel if we did kill him? Would you shrug then?!"