Hi, all! Here is the next chapter of "Why aren't you publishing more HFHM chapters, &^@!*#^&@#*!"
Why, yes, that will probably be the official title, or maybe something like "Despite numerous emails, I wrote this book about a lesbian zombie, a sexy werewolf, and a succubus instead of my mainstream series." That seems to be the new trend in light novels, anyway.
Hello and welcome to all new readers who may be wondering what's going on here. About five years ago, I wrote a story about a guy who got a blowjob from a nymph in his bathtub, and it spawned over a hundred chapters and three spinoff novels. This is the sequel to one of the spinoffs, so you may want to hit up Home for Horny Monsters Ch. 1 if you need to start over.
Returning reader? Welcome back, I missed you! Horny Monster club is officially in session, don't forget to grab some snacks on the way in!
I'm sorry for the slow postings of late, I promise I'm not about to abandon my post here on Lit. Life just got super busy, and I refuse to compromise quality by shoveling out chapters. If you've stuck around this long, you probably have realized that I take this writing thing a little too seriously and I'm still trying to impress you.
Anyway, thanks for being here and helping me dominate the Nonhuman Wall of Fame with your votes, excitement, and generally fun behavior in the comments. It's not something I expected to happen, I remember being excited when I made the top ten once upon a time. Now that I've acknowledged my rankings, I fully expect the onslaught of 1 star reviews to drop me down, but such is life on the internet.
Even with my busy schedule, I still do take time to update the bio to reflect release dates, so check often to see when I'm planning to get my shit together and put something new up for you to read. So on that note, sit back, relax, and enjoy this chapter while somehow ignoring my slightly
Cagey Behavior
Stuck in the darkness, Dana found her confidence waning as she realized that the lock wasn't something she could pick. No amount of Youtube education was going to teach her how to undo a lock that was on the outside of her cage door. She couldn't even reach the thing with her fingertips. Unless she developed zombie telekinesis, she was stuck.
It also didn't help that she had to listen to Tasia ranting from the nearby cage. The werewolf was practically howling in human form, which seemed a little silly. It was a stream of consciousness that reminded Dana very much of Tink.
"Hey." Dana gave the wall of her cage a good kick and repeated the process until Tasia finally quieted down. "How strong are these cages?"
"Why do you care? We aren't getting out, and I suspect this is all your fault somehow."
"Me being in here is my fault. I have no idea why you're here. Have you wolfed out and tried forcing your way free?"
There was a growl in the darkness. "As a matter of fact, I can't change right now."
"Why?" asked Dana. When no answer came, she smacked the door. "Look, we're both in cages and none of this is about you. I had no idea you were even in Florida. We were tracking a demon and things went sideways. I'm sure you know what that's like. I'm not asking you about your weaknesses or whatever, but I think we should agree that our number one priority is escape."
Another moment passed, and Tasia sighed. "Silver bullet," she replied. "I was shot. It keeps me from transforming."
"Did they shoot you? The preacher people?"
"No." This time, the growl was deeper than before. "It was one of our own, someone in the Order. Killed a group of researchers and my team, then pinned the blame on me. I think they may have been mind controlled. I'm not sure and didn't get much of a chance to think about it before the bastard shot me. They brought me here to keep me until I could be collected later."
"That sounds messed up." Dana tried rattling the door even harder, but that was no use. She gave the door a kick. When it didn't budge, she tried again, with a bit more force. Her dilemma was that she was afraid that if she applied too much force, might break a leg or worse. She wasn't keen on revealing her strength to anyone, but the situation was pretty dire.
Tasia snorted. "Like you're one to talk. Walking around with a succubus of all things. Tell me, how many innocent men and women have you fed to that bitch?"
"None, actually. I'm not her boss, I'm her friend." Dana gave the door a few more exploratory kicks, then felt it with her fingers, reconstructing the build in her mind. There was a huge difference between kicking a door near the hinges versus near the deadbolt holding it shut. She made a mental note to start carrying a small flashlight in the future, as doing this blind sucked.
"You can't seriously expect me to believe that," Tasia said.
"You're a werewolf in a cage who was shot by one of her buddies and dropped off for safekeeping in a tour bus with a famous pastor's face on it. Whose story is more believable right now?" Dana double-checked the position of her foot with her hand and then kicked. When it didn't give after the first few strikes, she stretched her body and pushed against the latch side of the door with her foot, bracing her back against the interior. The metal bent, but held with a groan. She felt around the cage some more, it was smooth on the inside. There was the faint odor of dried sweat and blood, but it was overpowered by Tasia's scent.
"These cages weren't made for animals. I saw them when I came in. I think Osgrove has been using them for people." Tasia shifted in her cage. "That pompous fucker."
"He's in league with a demon. We didn't know that when we came, but we do now." Dana felt a subtle shift in the trailer. "Shit. Time to play Andy's Coming."
"What does that even mean?" demanded Tasia, but Dana went limp in the cage, making sure that her wrist was by the door. She forced the air out of her lungs and stared straight ahead as someone came into the room and turned on the light. One of Deacon's security detail stared at her, but she held perfectly still.
The man opened the cage and stuck his hand in far enough to check her pulse. When he didn't get one, he let out a grunt and grabbed the walkie on his shoulder. "The intruder is dead," he said. "Do you still want me to bring her up?"
There was a moment of interference, and then a harsh voice came through the speaker. "Do so."
The guy sighed and knelt down to grab Dana's wrist. "At least you aren't too heavy," he muttered, sliding her out of the cage. When he leaned over to lift her up into a fireman's carry, she put the man in a chokehold and squeezed the sides of his neck. He gasped for air, but it wasn't air she was cutting off. A proper choke cut off the flow of blood itself, and he slumped over, his brain temporarily deprived of oxygen.
"Damn, that was slick," Tasia muttered from her cell.
Dana searched the man's pockets and took his keys before shoving him into her old cage and locking it shut. She took a peek out the door to the cage room. The trailer was empty, but that didn't mean someone wasn't outside.
"Let me out," Tasia begged, pressing her face against the bars.
"I'm not sure I should," Dana replied. "I don't have time to deal with you."
"Look, I'm in a bad spot and..." Tasia groaned. "The guy who captured me said I was going to be an experiment. This is absolutely an enemy of my enemy situation."
"I was never your enemy." Dana stared hard at Tasia, then unlocked her cage. "You might not know this, but I drowned your sorry ass in Hawaii and then helped bring it back. We had conflicting goals, but that was it. If the shoe had been on the other foot, I have no doubt you would have...damn, that's a lot of blood." Dana examined the giant stain that ran down the front of Tasia's outfit. She looked like an extra from a horror movie with blood down to her legs.
"I'll live," Tasia muttered. "But we need to get the bullets out."
The smell of Tasia's blood aroused something in Dana, and she subconsciously licked her lips. It was hunger, but in a way she hadn't experienced before. It was true she consumed Mike's magic juice, but that was out of necessity. Feeding on the Nirumbi had been instinct under extreme circumstances. This was something she wanted to eat for pleasure, to experience the taste of it on her tongue and feel it run down the back of her throat like hot chocolate on a cold day.
Tasia slid forward and stood, hunched over with a hand on her stomach. "You're drooling."
Dana wiped her mouth with a hand and walked out of the room. Her phone was sitting on a nearby table, along with her fake pass. She picked it up and saw that she had missed a text from Lily. When she opened it, she frowned at the one word missive.
Lily had wanted her to run. But from what? And why? What could spook the succubus enough that she would try to chase Dana off? Dana was in the middle of typing her reply when someone else stepped onto the bus. She looked up and locked eyes with another security guard. This one was faster than the first and pulled out a baton with one hand and a stun gun with the other.
She leapt toward him, taking the baton across the face and slapping the stun gun aside. He struck her in the chest and knocked her to the ground, then tried to stomp on her neck. She twisted to the side and heard something snap. Thinking he had just broken one of her bones, she groaned when she saw the man lift his heel from remnants of her cell phone.
Tasia caught the man in the face with a flying knee, and both of them crumpled to the ground. Dana stood and picked up the remnants of her phone. Only the screen protector held the thing together. She shoved it in her pocket and helped the werewolf up.
"I thought he was going to take you out," Tasia muttered. "Should have known better. Where's the succubus?"
"Her name is Lily. She said we need to run." Dana pulled Tasia to her feet. "So I'm guessing that's what we do."
"Maybe you can run." Tasia lifted her hand away from her stomach, revealing fresh blood. "I guess this is where we part ways, witch."
"Call me Dana." She slapped the stun gun into Tasia's hand. "And you're coming with me."
🧟♀️🐶😈
The parking lot was dimly lit, but Tasia could see clearly as if it was the middle of the day. The convention center was abuzz with noise. The people inside were singing hymns, and she could smell the excitement in the air. The performance had reached a fever pitch and was likely going to end soon.
Dana slowly led the way, but Tasia directed her toward an area with fewer guards. They stank of hotdog meat, sweat, and...sulfur? It made sense, based on what the witch had told her.
No, not witch. If nothing else, Tasia needed to let that idea go. Dana clearly wasn't a witch. She did have an odd smell about her, but it was hard to parse what it was with so much other activity going on. The pain in her gut didn't help, either. The bullets burned like tiny fireballs in her belly, and the sensation was radiating down her legs. She stumbled a few times, but Dana caught her with those uncanny reflexes of hers.
"Once we get past the gates, I've got somewhere we can go. We'll meet up with Lily and figure out our next step." Dana knelt down behind a parked car. "But only if you agree to play nice."
Tasia wanted to argue that the succubus wouldn't make such an agreement, but realized her preconceived beliefs might not be true. After so many hours inside that cage and the rest of her team dead, it was obvious this situation was far bigger and more dangerous than what she could handle on her own.
