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All thanks goes to Izabella for editing this series!
***
20th December 2008, 9.30 PM, living room.
I must be strong. I must not give in to this whole crap thing called MARKING. I've... well, I have to admit that I've gotten dreams of us becoming one and each time, the dreams become much more addictive and seductive.
My wolf was in pure agony. I could feel it. Burning right into my deepest core but I'm sorry, wolf, I will not give in my remaining free will.
I will not surrender.
Whenever the call become close for me to lose it, I broke into a run and phase into my wolf form. I sprinted as far as I can go. I filled my mind with a lot of unrelated things like how I'm going to catch that bird flying above the sky or even how I'm going to leap from one boulder to another.
All those random thoughts.
Alven helped me by running by my side. He needed the run as well. He was confused with himself already. He had this fear that he might have lost what was there waiting for him all along and he was afraid to admit or even find out what he had lost.
Which I must say, make sense, in a weird way.
Because, if the situation was reversed, I'd want to save myself the regret of losing something that was important to me but I had failed to see it in the first place. So, I totally understood why Alven was behaving like this.
Mom and Dad are a bit upset with me, I suppose. They didn't like my being too stubborn. "You brought this problem to yourself," Dad had told me earlier, Mom just looked at me, knowing that Dad will surely bring whatever things she'd wanted to say in full blast, "When that boy come for dinner tomorrow night, you will come and join us."
THAT BOY! Ugh, so Dad's goanna try and play matchmaker is it? Well, two can play the same game! I don't want to stand so close to Maxwell!
I'm afraid that I might lose it. I mean, what if I can't hold my desires when he's standing so seductively close??
Sigh. I'm such a coward. I keep on using the MARKING excuse to get away from him. I just... Sigh, what if seeing him again will make me fall in love with him all over again and at the same time, my heart would break?
I just don't know how I'm going to do this. I guess, running is probably the safest and most coward choice ever. Mom and Dad can force me as much as they want and I'll play along but when that DINNER come and THAT BOY is here, I'll go out from the back door and RUN!
Who says I should play fair?
Avvie
From Carinelle Hynes Thorn's diary:
20th December 2008, 11.30 PM, balcony.
I haven't seen Samuel for five days now. Sigh. How am I going to make up for this? Is there any other way than to surrender and bite him?
Is that my only choice? Give in and bite?
Sigh.
I know that I'm being stupid, reckless and selfish. The only victim here is just Samuel. I'm the one who dragged him into this mess in the first place.
It's kind of sad really. I mean, the situation I am in now. I feel so lonely and alone. The other wolves that have mated didn't have this kind of problem. They are so in love and peaceful with one another that it made my heart bled to think that I won't probably ever going to have a chance of ever feeling that.
Mom and Dad, for example, they've gone through such a huge obstacle and tests in their lives but at least they have each other. The love they felt for one another was enough to last them.
I want a love like that. I want to wake up every morning and stare into the eyes of the man I love.
Sigh.
Sadly that can never happen now.
It was entirely my fault. I was just too rash in making the decision of agreeing to mate with Samuel in the first place. I was hurt. I was lost.
And oh, I really should stop making excuses for myself.
Bottom line is that, this was my fault to begin with and so, I shall suffer for life but that doesn't mean that I'd want Samuel to suffer with me... Forgive me...
Forgive me, my dear mate, for breaking your heart. I promise you, I will love you. I will learn. I will complete the ritual...
Just bear with me. Give me time. Forgive me...
Carrie.
***
Gracielle looked at her daughter, she patted her shoulder and gave a little smile, "You do know that your father and I love you very much..." she paused, "If there is any other way, we wouldn't have agreed to this dinner."
Aveline sighed, "I know, Mom," she paused, "There IS another way..."
"Is that so?" Gracielle's forehead creased.
"I'm sure I can have a few wolves lined up and ready to fight for me..." she said solemnly.
Gracielle shook her head, "Don't be silly," she chastised her daughter, "You love that boy."
Aveline pouted, "Mom, I won't give in that easily..."
"Shh," Gracielle shushed her, "Your dad's coming with Malcolm, Adrian and THAT BOY..."
"Mom, please.... stop calling him that way..." Aveline sighed.
"You said you hate the boy and yet you want me to address him by his name," Gracielle grinned, feeling amused with the whole situation abruptly. "Well, Jerry said that Maxwell is a good boy. Quiet but he certainly has a good heart..."
But before Aveline could even utter a single reply; the majestic double door pulled open and then, her father, along with Malcolm, Adrian and – her heart stabbed at the sight – Maxwell. Aveline bit her lips and her hands felt so empty all of the sudden. She clenched it tight on her sides and just looked at them – trying hard to not to divert her attention to Maxwell.
Her wolf rebelled inside her, recognizing the delicious seductive aura that was wafting out from Maxwell. It took all of her strength to not burst and leaped into his arms. Maxwell seemed to feel the pull too as he quickly bent his head down and focused his gaze on his steps.
Damn the Marking! Aveline cursed in her mind.
The next following event felt like a blur to Aveline. Gracielle sauntered gracefully to her mate's side and had her arm linked to his. James continued to talk about random stuff but clearly was important as it was relating to the pack's development. Honestly, Aveline didn't really give any attention to what her father was saying. Her feet felt frozen on the floor and it wasn't until Malcolm gave her an evil eye that she broke out from her trance but she kept a good distance from walking next to Maxwell.
She walked by Adrian's side instead, but it felt so awkward but she thought that it was better than walking side by side to a wolf whose pull was simply irresistible.
"How are you, my Alpha Princess?" Adrian asked as the group walked down the hall and then turned to the private dining area.
"I'm good," Aveline replied quickly. She didn't trust herself to be strong enough to overcome the pull. She needed to calm herself first so she kept quiet and she was thankful that Adrian didn't have the urgent need to be so friendly.