Connor Thomas

Thank you for patiently sticking with me.

- The Rev.

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Say yes we live uncertainty

And disappointments have to be

And every day we might be facing more.

Yes we live in desperate times

With faded words and shaking rhymes

There's only one thing here worth hoping for.

- The Avett Brothers

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Candice will not mate until she speaks to her father. He arrives tomorrow. One half of me is furious. Rodrique, my wolf wants her now. Connor, my conscience is glad for the reprieve. I mean mating is forever. Candice will be my mate, my wife, mother of my children. At the same time I have feelings for Vivian. I love her. I know I said I love Candice but I don't really know her. I think my Were half loves his mate but that has no bearing on my real emotional state.

Permanent mate. Is that not what happened between Viv and me the other day? The feelings afterward were intense. I took her several more times those first days before she quit coming. I have been kept in seclusion. At times my wolf flips out, others I am my usual rational self. Unstable is the only way to describe myself. So I have been kept under lock and key. Everyone afraid I will lose all sanity. Search for a way to my mate.

Mate. Sigh. I am back to the same dilemma. Seriously, I always thought there was one woman for me, couldn't wait to get married. At one point I thought of asking Kayla to marry me but now that the moment is here I am having second thoughts.

"You are thinking too much," the woman between my legs says.

"How can you tell?"

"Usually when I suck a guy this big down my throat he blows pretty quickly," sitting back she continues to stroke my hard length.

"Do you believe in mates?"

Her tongue runs up my shaft, circling the head before she sits back, "of course."

"I can assume you are unmated?"

"I have not yet met my soul mate."

"But you believe in him?"

"Yes, I believe there is one person out there made for me."

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"What makes you believe in soul mates?"

"It is just something all Werewolves are brought up believing." I harrumph. "I notice you didn't ask if I believe in love or have ever been in it for that matter."

"Well do you?"

"Yes. I once loved a male in my pack. He was not my soul mate but we were in love."

"What happened?"

"His father forbid our union. I was not high enough rank to be his bride."

"Is that why you left your pack?"

"Not the only reason but one of them."

"Can I ask how you came to be in this clan?"

"You are a strange one." I quirk an eyebrow at her. "I have never had a male want to have a conversation instead of this," she motions my hard cock with her hand.

"Why are you here anyway? I know you said Vivian sent you but why?"

"She said you needed to relieve some stress. I was told to suck you off but not engage in intercourse."

"Even though you are aroused?"

"Yes," she sighs.

"Why were you forbidden?"

"You are the Heir. Your seed is meant to breed Alphas. I am a Gamma."

"I am to assume that is bad?"

"Alphas and Betas mix pretty regular. Both tend to fuck Gammas if they feel the need for release but we are never to be elevated beyond. I've seen women forced to miscarry because the pack did not want an Alpha bastard born to such low ranking whores. My love was a Beta. Our families made it clear that it was only recreational fun between us. He let our Alpha force him to mate another, when that happened I fled. I could never accept a system that made you bend to their will regardless of your happiness."

"But this clan imposes the same rules upon you?"

"No. Today is the first time I was ever told not to fuck someone. Usually we are all allowed any freedom with our bodies. Male, female, Weres or Immortals mix regularly around here."

"What would you say if I want you on my cock?"

"I feel your power. I wanted to fuck you the moment I saw you."

"You hold back because?"

"Vivian gave me a home when I had nothing. She has given me a family that accepts me no matter my race or rank. I don't want to let her down."

"So," I lick my lips, "If I threw you down on the bed and ravaged you, you would fight back?"

"I'm not stupid. I know your wolf wants to dominate."

"That wasn't a no."

"It was not a yes either."

I pull her up onto my lap, she gasps as she looks down at me. My hand grips her hip as the other slides between her legs to feel how excited she really is. I bare my teeth at the wetness I find. Rodrique quickly pushes to the forefront. We could care less of her rank. She is a willing female Werewolf and we are going to have our way with her. My hand moves to my cock, stroking it a few times before holding it up to her opening. She half-heartedly squirms away from me. I lift my hips and press the head into her. Her lips part on a gasp. Grabbing her hips with both my hands I slam my entire cock into her welcoming core. Basking in her scream.

In no time I am gliding in and out of her. My hands moving her on my cock as much as she is. She is looking at me in awe as I push up into her. I pull her off and flip her over. She instantly positions herself on her hands and knees. I waste no time lining my cock up and slamming it back home. She is very vocal as I assault her pussy. My hand is on her neck pushing her face into the mattress as I fuck her. I realize I don't care about her at this moment. My wolf only wants its release. To fill her with our seed, ensuring our survival. Blood is everything in a Werewolf's world. My blood, my seed is shooting out of my cock into this viable vessel right now. She is clawing at the bed beneath her as her pussy milks me for my seed.

Self-hate is what I feel as she collapses beneath me. I could never admit it to her. I find no real pleasure in the fact that I used her like the whore her clan claimed she was. I am such a bastard.

"You have to go," I choke out.

"That was.."

"Don't say it. I am such a bastard. Just go. I have ruined you."

"No Connor...."

"Go!" I scream at her.

"Did I do something wrong?" She is on the verge of tears. I begin pacing, a loud growl coming out of my mouth. She shrinks back into the corner of the bed. I stop and look at her.

"She should not have sent you." I begin pacing again. "She knows I have no impulse control. Did she really expect me to resist a willing female?" That's when I have a revelation. She wanted this. Vivian wants me to procreate. Must be why she quit coming to see me. Our coupling could never produce any fruit. She is worried I might fail to defeat Roderin. If there are bunch of little Connors running around she will have more options later. I should have seen this coming when she became excited about the possibility of Candice being pregnant.

Oh great, Candice. What will she say if she finds out I impregnated another female before we are mated? My furred fist connects with the wall. Fucking great, I'm so worked up I shifted and didn't even notice. A whimper from the corner brings me back to the naked female on my bed. The fear in her face lets me know she feels my rage. I step closer, breathing deep. Rodrique savors the smell of fear on her.

"Run," I growl. A small shake of her head. I reach out and grab her ankle. Her other foot slams into my chest as she tries to free yourself from my grasp. "Yes, fight back little one," I growl again. The scent of fear grows stronger as she kicks with her free leg, her hands scratching at my body as I pull her to me.

"No," she screams as I drag her onto the floor. Her resistance doubles as she shifts into hybrid form. She clearly thinks I am going to kill her right now. For a brief moment I wonder where the guards are but quickly get back to my previous intent. Rodrique would be purring in happiness right now if he was a cat. My wolf loves the struggle the female is putting up, that is until her claws scrape my right cheek deep. Then I am snarling in her face, dripping blood. She stills and her eyes widen when she understands my real intention.

My cock is buried deep in one thrust. Snapping my teeth inches from her face, she whimpers and bares her throat. My teeth clamp down, not breaking skin just holding her still. Her claws sink into my back and she whines as I pound into her. Growling incessantly I work her hard and fast. My wolf enjoying his small victory and chance at reproducing. When she tries to move with my thrusts my teeth clamp down harder and she stills. Rodrique wants complete control in this moment. He wants his pleasures from this warm body and nothing else. It disgusts me that I have such animalistic tendencies. Maybe Werewolf packs don't purposefully disrespect the women it is just more of a base instinct. I throw my head back and howl loudly as I roughly shove my cock in as far as it will go and unload inside her.

I look down at her as I feel her contracting around my spent cock. How could she have enjoyed that? I used her body and possibly impregnated her yet she had an orgasm. Then I feel it. Vivian is near, she knows. Fury overtakes me. My wolf wants to stay inside her, make sure our seed is accepted. The human part of me in enraged. I pull out of her and fling myself at the door.

"You bitch," I growl. "How could you!" I scream. I begin to beat on the door. Bloody dents appear in the steel as I ruin my hands.

"Stop," a soft plea as a hand touches my shoulder. I turn on the woman. Teeth bared I grab her by the throat and slam her into the wall. Her hands immediately trying to pry mine off so she can breathe.

"Are you happy? You enjoyed getting fucked by the Heir. You can brag to all the others that you had me, are going to have my child. I can see why women and children were destroyed over unwanted spawn. I hate myself for what just happened. A woman I love and trust just manipulated me. Used you just like she used me."

"Let her go Connor. She is innocent." I turn to see Vivian just inside the room. I keep my hand on the female's throat as I pull her in front of me, her back pressed against my chest.

"I can kill her before you could stop me."

"You won't."

"You are so sure?" I snarl at her.

"You would hate yourself too much." God damn it, why does she have to be right? I push the woman forward into Vivian; she stumbles back as she catches her. Unbelievable rage is coursing through me. Where are these violent urges coming from? Before Vivian can open the door to release the girl I am on her. Vivian lands on her stomach as I take her down. My full weight has her pinned as I grab her hair. Jerking her head to the side I bite down and savagely feed from her neck. She screams in pain as she tries to buck me off. Her efforts weaken as I bleed her. I don't think she can die from this but I only really want to teach her a lesson.

The guards cannot get in the room because our bodies are blocking the door. The female is screaming, trying to get free from underneath us. She is partially pinned by Vivian's limp body. Hate is in my eyes as I look at her. These women used me. I am an Alpha, The Alpha. No one uses me and gets away with it. I am quickly on the woman. The screams stop suddenly when my teeth rip out her throat. I know she cannot survive it as I ravage her neck. I can taste her blood and flesh in my mouth. I feel Vivian's strength flowing through my veins.

I back up and wait for the door to burst open. I do not care what comes through it. I am going to be free once and for all. No more prisoner to other's will. I am the Alpha not them. How dare they keep me hostage. I should be worshiped like the king I am. Not treated like a criminal. I watch as the door slowly gets pushed open. The two men in the door are looking down at the bodies and too late realize the threat. I am on them in the blink of an eye. The next minutes are a haze of blood and screams.

"Not you again," I groan.

"You were expecting someone else?" my wolf half has a smart look on his face. I want to wipe it off. I step toward him and he grins.

"Why are you doing this?" I stop advancing, realizing that he wants a fight.

"Freedom."

"People are dead. I can taste their blood in my mouth."

"Delicious, isn't it?" licking his lips.

"Why am I here talking to you?" motioning to the cave. "I thought we are the same person."

"We are. You know when you talk to yourself it usually means you have mental problems," the wolfish grin reappearing. Rodrique thinks he is a comedian now.

"The only mental problem I have is you."

"I am you, so you must be insane."

"Why did you become violent?"

"You already had these urges before I was unbound. Did you forget about the boy in the orphanage? Did he ever regain vision in his right eye?"

"Fuck you," I snarl.

"Stop fighting your destiny."

"I don't want it."

"Too fucking bad," he screams at me. "I am fucking sick of your bitching. This," motioning to himself, "is the real you. The binding has crippled you physically and mentally. I can accept the things my body lacks physically but unless you really want to go insane you have to accept the mental. You are a Werewolf. An Alpha Werewolf and do not deserve to be chained any longer. For twenty three years you, me lost out on our nature. Deep down you knew it, still know it now."

"The violence, the death, was it all necessary?"

"They can no longer ignore the fact of what you really are."

"You."

"The personality is all you. I am more your base instinct. All you have to do is trust it."

"Look where that got me," my response is sarcastic.

"You embraced it well in the end. The woman was delicious alive and dead. You cannot deny the rush of power you felt as you tore through the others." I glare at him, unable to lie to myself. "Hold on a sec. Listen."

"What is that?"

"Shh," waving his hand.

"Good lord he was fast," a male is saying.

"I have never seen you bested like that by one creature," another responds.

"You are getting off track," a female cuts in. "What are we to do with him?"

"Can this really be because he has been denied his mate?" I recognize the speaker as Darius.

"I think it is a part of it. The captivity is most likely the cause of the violence," Desmond responds.

"I still do not understand why he turned on me," Vivian sounds sad.

"I should not have told you to send the female. I just wanted to be sure in his identification of his true mate. The fact that he did not bite the female during intercourse proves it," Desmond explains.

"If that didn't I'm sure the fact that he ripped her throat out helps," Darius tries to joke.

"So is everyone agreed on the next course of action?" Desmond asks. Half-hearted grunts are his agreement. "Bring the girl. We have a mating ceremony to begin."

"Wait, what if she refuses?" Bruno questions.

"We set Connor free and he will take her in his own way. Let me just say it will be easier for me to do the proper rites if it is done here," Desmond is the man with the plan.

"So don't tell her why she is really coming down here?" Bruno asks.

"Exactly."

I look over to Rodrique with a smug grin on his face.

"This was all about you getting laid?" I am exasperated.

"This was about joining my life force with another."

"I thought that was what I did with Vivian?"

After a moment he responds, "Your vampire half mated with Vivian but Candice is my Werewolf mate."

"Wait, what? Vampire half?"

"I can't believe I never thought of it before. I always thought you were just the human half but now I realize we really are different parts of the same body," talking more to himself than me.

"You are not making any sense. There is no way I can be part vampire. I am not immortal, I can go out in the sun, I eat real food."

"Not an Immortal in the way Vivian and Darius are but our blood is part Immortal. Remember on the battlefield, Father told us about Arden strengthening his children with his Immortal blood. The whole time it was a mix of the races. Arden never reached full maturity but he was still born of Were blood. After his death the blood was still passed down through his offspring. It took Vivian's blood to awaken that part of you."

"She gave me her blood the night we met."

"I remember. It unlocked my cage."

"What cage?"

"The magic created an unreachable part of your mind. Down that path is the room that I was imprisoned in," motioning to the opening on the left.

"Didn't you create this?" motioning to the cave.

"It doesn't matter. Nothing changes the fact that I was locked away."

"Okay, whatever. Let's get back to the point." He just looks at me. "That you and me really are different people, halves, whatever you want to call it."

"Two halves of the same whole. One without the other is not complete. This duality when awake is because the different instincts are warring, confused perhaps."

"How do we fix it?" After a moment of consideration a mischievous grin appears. He walks over and puts his arm around my shoulders. Looking up I realize he is what I might look like if I was never bound.

"Come, let me show you my cage," trying to keep a straight face.

"Fuck you," I laugh as I shove him away. Just looking at each other we both burst out laughing.

"It's this better than the fighting?" wiping away a tear.

"You can't think of anything can you?" I ask Rodrique.

"You can't either," he teases.

"No, I really can't."

"For now I say let us go through with the mating. Once both of us have joined with our mates we can discuss this further."

"Oh great, now every time I am asleep I have to look at you."

"Well I am the better looking one."

"The vain one maybe." We both laugh. No matter how you look at it my drive and determination comes from my Were half. He is the embodiment of my strength, my core. "Let's go get laid," with a suggestive eyebrow wiggle. His laugh was the response I was going for.

"For sure, but don't fight your instincts this time. It is time for them to feel the full force of this True Alpha's power."

How do you choose one mate over another? I feign sleep and watch the scene before me, Vivian, Darius and Desmond in deep conversation. I don't try to listen in. Instead I just enjoy watching their body language. It takes me a few minutes to really absorb Viv's appearance. Her skin is extremely pale; a bandage wraps around her neck and disappears beneath her top. What did I do to her?

"He is awake, you know?" All of their eyes fall on me. I smile sheepishly. I try to rise but can't. I growl.

"Can you contain him again quickly if he loses control?" asks Darius.

"Yes," Desmond nods.

"Then let him up," Darius looks unsure.

"It is done," Desmond says. Even though I feel no different, I try to rise and can. Sitting up I take a quick assessment of my body. A few scrapes, nothing major but I am still covered in blood and grime. Also what does a guy have to do around here to get some clothes?

"Why aren't you healing?" I ask Vivian.

"You nearly bled her dry. It takes powerful blood and a lot of it to heal her," Darius answers. I give him an angry look for answering. I was clearly talking to Vivian.

"Since the same blood runs through our veins, come feed from me," I look her in the eye as I speak. I snarl when she looks to Darius for his opinion. "I am your mate. You do not need his approval."

"I am not asking for his approval. I do not trust you and want to be sure it is safe," she finally speaks to me.

"I am sorry for what happened. I thought you manipulated and betrayed me. I love you, Vivian. You are my Immortal mate. I will never again bring harm to you." I can see my words have shocked her but she slowly makes her way to me. Sliding in between my legs her hand moves up to my hair. None to gently she jerks my head to the side and bites down. It should hurt but I have become accustomed to the pleasure of her bite.