It's one of those nights.
The day must have been so cloyingly hot the air has stayed thick with it for hours after sunset. I'm restless right through to my bones tonight.
The wind picks up, hissing through the thirsty trees on the square. Fat drops of rain hit the asphalt. In the center of my chest I feel a distant roll of thunder long before the flash. The air chills as the rain falls harder. What a relief. Should be for someone, somewhere anyway.
I spark up a smoke, standing in the lee of a big old brownstone. Sounds of pots and pans and male voices carry through the open door of the restaurant kitchen. Divine scents of focaccia and ragu carry too, simple things thrown together with enough skill to make a tidy profit for me. I have my fingers in many pies, this restaurant being one of my more honest ventures.
I hear the woman's step before I see her. Tap tap tap, high heeled sandals on concrete. She runs past the alley where I'm smoking, her purse held up to protect her curls from the rain. Her filmy red sundress clings to all her curves. No bra. No panties. My oh my.
"Hey!" I call, doing my very best to sound concerned and non threatening,
She looks back at me, her punk frown melts when she sees I'm just a woman, smaller and weaker than herself.
"You can wait under here til it passes? If you like?" I say.
I stub out the cigarette on the brickwork, toss it into a bucket of sand overflowing with dead ends.
She's shivering, arms and shoulders soaked. I duck into the kitchen and grab her a clean rag to dry off with. She dabs gingerly at her dress, which leaves nothing to my imagination. Her nipples stand out so well I can see the texture of her areolas.
"My damn phone is broken," she sniffs, "piece of shit."
"Want me to call you a cab?"
She says nothing. She catches the sweet scent of garlic and sun-dried tomato sauce, her stomach clenches in hunger and it takes her a second to process what I said.
"Sure. I guess."
"You far from here?"
She shrugs. "I got a friend I can stay with in Charlestown. Fuck it, I could walk."
"Up to you. See that window up there?"
She cranes her neck to look behind the iron fire escape.
"That's my place. It's not the Elton, but you can warm up 'til the rain stops. That is if you don't mind the stairs."
The corner of her mouth curls up in bemusement, "Huh?"
"Beats running through the streets with no clothes... I mean no coat on in this weather."
"Right. I guess." She crosses her arms, too little too late, her shoulders slump with embarrassment she seems to shrink a little.
"You like seafood? Pasta?"
"Yuh huh, but this place is waaay over..."
I lean through the kitchen door and shout for Giuseppe, the junior chef. He tips me a wink when I order a take out lobster ravioli.
"Sure boss. Want me to bring it up?"
"Nah, they need you down here tonight big boy. Send Leo up in half an hour or so?"
I see the resentment in his eyes as I return his wink.
I lead the way up the wobbly iron stairway, the poor girl clambers up in her high heels clinging on with both hands. I can hear her heart racing over the rain.
Third floor.
Of the many places I call home, I prefer a cozy little garret; unassuming, safe, isolated by the effort it takes to get up there.
Inside I flick on a reading lamp and toss the girl a dressing gown. For her comfort I turn up the thermostat.
"Want me to toss that dress in the drier?"
For the first time, she hesitates. I try not to dwell too much on why. A sixth sense maybe? A hang up on what this place really is? I don't live here of course. I don't
live
anywhere. With careful appraisal, anyone would notice, though most people don't look, or they don't want to see.
"Can I use your bathroom?"
"Sure. Take all the time you need."
That seems to set her at ease. I hear everything as she takes a piss, washes her hands, splashes some water on her face, sits back on the porcelain throne and has a little cry.
I dig a bottle of merlot out the back of one of my sad kitchen cupboards, wipe the dust out of a glass and set a place for her at the coffee table. I spark up another cigarette, and make myself a hot chocolate to hold. It's funny how those little things help. The warmth of the cup takes the chill off my fingers, the cigarette helps me remember I should breathe.
When she comes out, I'm sat on the couch, feet curled up under me, normal as could be.
Her face is puffy, but she's reapplied her makeup. Gorgeous lipstick. Big long black eyelashes. She has the wet dress bunched in a fist, and she's wearing the silk robe I gave her.
"God, I needed that."
I smile and offer her the glass. "You want me to open it?"
She drops onto the couch with a sigh.
"What's with you? What's with," she glanced around my sparsely decorated rooms. "I mean, y'know? This."
A flash of lightning blurs my eyes, and thunder tears through the air. The roof vibrates with the intensity of the downpour. I hope Leo has the sense to wait a few more minutes. I wouldn't want to stand on a cast iron fire escape in this.
"I'm nosy I guess," I try to break the ice. "I saw you running and I wondered why. Something upset you."
She takes a long sip of good wine. Now that's magic. Her brow smoothes out and she sighs as it hits the spot. "Bad date is all. Rough ride. I'll pay you back just as soon as I sort out my bank cards and shit."
"You're a working girl, right?"
"Abbie. My name's Abbie." She rolls her eyes. "Jesus. 'working girl'? It ain't like that miss ah... what did you say your name was?"
"I didn't. Obviously I don't mean that you're a street walker, but please don't insult my intelligence. You do sell yourself. Fancy making a quick fifty?"
She looks at me carefully, sizing me up. The color rises in her cheeks and she sips the drink again. "You don't seem the type. Ma'am."
"Anything you don't do?"
"For real?" She says. "Maybe I don't do girls." She flinches as lightning flashes again. "I did not expect you to hit on me."
"I'm not hitting on you, Abbie. I'm offering you fifty dollars for the use of your cunt."
"Shit," she giggles and toys with the glass, though her eyes aren't smiling at all. "Just goes to show you can't judge a book by the cover. Okay ma'am. I'll bite. I'll put out for fifty, dinner, and somewhere to crash tonight."
As if by magic, Leo begins hammering on my door and I quickly let him in. He's a compact shortish twenty year old kid with a thing for older women. I've used Leo a few times before.
He takes in the beautiful half naked brunette on the couch and looks to me for instructions.
"Freshen up, boy. Take some time to get the kitchen stink out of your hair."
"Yes ma'am," he says, sheepish.
As the door closes, Abbie huffs indignantly. "Fifty won't cover a three way."
"It's fifty, lobster, merlot, and a bed for the night, Abbie. Don't get fresh."
"Whatever. Wait. Lobster? For me?"
I kneel on the floor beside the coffee table and carefully plate up the meal for her. She really is starving. I watch her eat, savoring the heady cocktail of lust and resentment that roils in my heart. "What did you do today?"
"Like I said, bad date. I mean, before that I took a walk, I guess? Scored some weed and a couple of lines?" She smiles a more genuine smile. "I like to get ahead while I'm in the mood." She takes a big breath, enjoying the slightly acidic tang of the sauce. "So I make some solo content with toys. I have some paid stuff up on 'only fans', if you're interested?"
Some people are so disconnected from the moment. So disconnected with what this is all for. Why breathe, why eat? Why struggle so you can fuck plastic on camera?
"I prefer this." I slide my hand under the hem and caress the smooth olive skin of her inner thigh.
Abbie hurriedly stuffs another couple of mouthfuls before lying back on the couch and spreading her knees for me. "How do you want this? You wanna go first?"
Now that I'm touching her, it's hard to block out the noise of her anxiety. She's been crashing at a friend's place since her uncle kicked her out, and tonight, the so-called friend tried to take advantage of her.
She's noticed my lack of personal effects. She's painfully aware that there's no easy exit, she's rightfully suspicious of me, but can't put her finger on why. She's never done anything like this with a stranger.
"You are so uptight." I slip in beside her on the couch, and pull her around so her face is in my lap, looking up at me. I know I'm being a cruel. This is far too intimate for first contact. I pull aside the robe and cup her breast.
Her hand snatches up to catch my wrist.
"You want me to stop altogether, or do you need a minute?" I ask.
"It's just sensitive."
"Here?" I strum my finger across her fat nipple.
"Yes! Too much."
"Put your hands underneath your ass. Keep them out of the way."
"Yes ma'am." She reluctantly obeys.
"Much better."