Becoming Monsters: in the Mirror

This is still a story of the Becoming Monsters universe by Ai Loves, setting used with permission. All canonical and mechanical errors are my own. The yarrb is the creation of FelisRandomis, used with permission.

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Chapter 16: Before The Fall

I missed dinner. That was a new one. My eyes slammed shut and did not open again until just past midnight. Nobody else was in the room with me, but even I could tell how bad I was smelling. Well, I did promise I'd stay there until tomorrow, and that happened five minutes ago.

I stood. I wobbled. The side of my face hurt. So did my shoulder muscles, back, hips, legs, and

especially

my feet. Sprinting several miles, supplemented by wingbeats, then falling over at the end will do that.

I made my slow and painful way to the bathroom. Turned on the shower, as hot as I could tolerate. It helped, some. Once I dried off a bit, I came out and opened the bedroom window. Let some of the musty stink get out. Stretch some more. Actually look at my Status screen.

My readouts were still shockingly low, especially considering how long I'd had for my abilities to tick my levels back up. Well below half on Health and Stamina. Using the Gold Battery to put some excess mana away actively hurt, I didn't want to think too hard about what it would do to me if I had to fight again today. No way to know if I would be called to do so.

As I was standing, trying to take stock of my body, letting the night air help me, I became aware of a shimmer in the corner. "You can stop hiding. I know you're there."

As it turns out, it wasn't one person. Emily and Amber both appeared from behind curtains of illusion, their Auras seeming depleted but present. Emily quirked her fox head. "Heard the shower, came to check. How could you tell?" Amber quirked hers in almost the same way.

"I could see your Aura shimmer. Both of you still need rest. Emily, don't you have a shift coming soon?"

"Don't you have a

death by exhaustion

you need to avoid? Not much room to talk about rest." Amber would fit right in. I could just tell. Still, in the hours since we spoke, I could tell certain things were changing. Subtly, I might not have noticed had I not known they were going to happen, but certainly there. Her eyes were brighter, the subtle structures of her face and shoulders shifting, her bust and hips expanding slightly.

"I'm also the one with two different rapid-recovery abilities. I've slept for, what, twelve hours? Call it eleven when you write off the bit I spent talking? I was getting restless. Still moving slow, like I promised."

"Then lay down on the floor and let me try something." I was curious where this was going. She laid her hand on my chest, over my heart, and I could feel her power reaching into me. Threads of it, stopping in seemingly-random places before withdrawing back to her body. With a grunt of pain, she withdrew her hand. "You are not nearly healed, Jeremiah. You just can't feel it because your entire system is screaming at you simultaneously. I pulled less than one percent of your injuries out and almost screamed right with it."

I blinked. Between my readouts telling me to calm my jets and that? Yikes. "Alright, alright, can I at least get new bedsheets? The ones I slept on smell like a swamp slime did aerobics on it."

"That much, I can do. And pillowcases. One day, I'll give you the rundown of regeneration waste excretions, but know that when I do it will be because you need a shower." Even with her help, I was shockingly tired by the time we finished even the simple task. It felt like every light sheet, every pillowcase, was made of lead. My SP was under 10% by the time it was through.

"Why do you push yourself this hard? The world will not miss you if you take a day for a break. It will still be there." Amber really needed more time to finish fitting in, apparently.

"You'll learn this about me, Amber. What we do? It is something that many

should

do, and which almost nobody actually

does

. It is endless, and thankless, and random. Thing is, if nobody does it, people die. Those lives have value. Each one, the ability to change the world. Especially now. I can say, with a fair bit of certainty, that without me and those like me, this city would have been destroyed in the first year."

"Yes, but you have a team."

"For two years, it was just myself and Lucy, struggling to make ends meet and occasionally shooting a giant rat. In the last ten days, this Guild has tripled in size, but we are not yet ready. The newcomers haven't been fully trained and integrated to the tactics. A million steps remain, but things are happening

now

." I sat on the bed.

Emily was looking at me funny, again. "You know, I've heard that one before. At least, ones like it. The hospital psych staff deal with it all the time, usually right before someone burns out completely. Please, take the advice. Your wife knows you're right at your limit, and if you haven't realized she's completely correct you have a long way to go."

Let it be known: I really do not like being wrong. Especially when it came to things like this. I was trying to respond, but the pillow seemed to sing my name, and suddenly I was horizontal once more.

About a second and a half later, the sun was shining through the window as my eyes snapped open. The room was empty of other people, though some of the bags and clothing had moved around. I slowly stood. This time, I went for the door. Moving was slow, but it didn't hurt like at midnight. It opened easily, the smells of breakfast wafting in. I stumbled forward. There was a blur, and I was surrounded. Pressed on all sides by the largest group hug I had ever been a part of. All six of my ladies were there, holding on as if afraid to let go.

It was... nice. Very nice. I could breathe. I knew I had done right by them, despite everything. It was a moment or an eternity later that my stomach rumbled from the middle of the mass. "Sorry for worrying you, everyone. Do I smell coffee?"

I got food, the tail end of the breakfast they had been sharing, the last bit of coffee. Beat the tail off of the hospital fare. Lucy promised mayhem if I attempted to leave the front door before the next sunrise, or if I did anything that cost more than 2% stamina. Considering how fast that was draining, it was quite a limit.

"Lucy had you all sitting down for coffee and cocoa. If I know her... and I do... a plan has been assembled."

Lucy nodded. "We're all scattering hither and yon, but you are staying right here. Feel free to practice whatever as long as you don't hurt the apartment or touch a weapon, got it?"

"One other condition," Emily interrupted as I began to open my mouth. "If it hurts enough to mess with your focus or get a grunt past your lips, you also stop. You are

resting

."

"I can live with that, I think. Amber, before you go do whatever you're doing, I need the basics of how your ability works. Extradimensional Space. I need to practice and plan, that's part of it."

She tilted her head a bit. "I just grab what I want and reach into my space, like it's a pocket. Takes some power to set up, adjust organization, or push things, but it's mostly passive. Why?"

I grabbed a fork and visualized such a space, extending my right arm. The hand disappeared, the sensation cool and slightly prickly, and I deposited the fork there before bringing the hand back out. "Because I will need practice."

Her expression was priceless. "I see I am not the only one changing. How did you do that?" I gave the quick outline. Lots to do after all. As I did, though, I looked around the table. That odd syncing and desyncing of auras was happening again. Just about everyone flowed well with Lucy, other than Gloria and Amber. Sarah did so with Whitney as well, but not the others. It was confusing. I could feel that it was important, critically so, but not how.

"Anything I need to know about before you all scatter? I might not be doing much physically here, but you know I'm going to plan."

Whitney piped up. "I ended up with an ability called Conserve Potential. Branched off my Two-Hander Specialization, but what I found says it can be used on a lot. Going to practice with it, but not today."

I nodded. "I can try to research that as well."

Emily was next. "I also found a much bigger apartment up a few floors, meant for large families or the like. It will fit us much more comfortably, but there is an issue. We need to be working 20 hours a week among us at the hospital, fire station, or other local services per adult housed. I have an exception for this apartment for now due to helping you in a crisis."

"The problem being that you are one person trying to do enough as it is, right? You can't work 140 hours a week." She nodded. "Do you think the hospital needs a trained and credentialed child care specialist?" She nodded. "Information technology?" Another nod. "Kitchen staff?" A third. "Generalist Enchanter?" Emily got the point. "Everyone see where I'm going with this?" A lot more nods. "Any objections?" Nothing. "Aright. Everyone, get your skillset summary to Emily by tonight. Résumé if you have the time to do it up. Emily, if you can bring them to the attention of whoever needs it, I think we can help each other. I just need them to understand that we are still Surface Hunters. Heck, that's part of what we offer, last two weeks, we've stopped two demons in their vicinity."

"It's easy to forget sometimes that we need more than doctors and nurses. I'll let them know this is a versatile Guild. Combined with our circumstances, we might be moving upstairs soon." That seemed to be the signal, everyone going to wherever their brand of "hither and yon" happened to be today. In almost no time at all, I was left with Nibbles. Nibbles was left with orders to stab my hand if I tried to reach for a weapon absent us getting another home invader.

I decided that would not be worth testing.

Thankfully, using mana by itself did not hurt today. Not more than, say, weightlifting with sore muscles. I got to take advantage of my regen. Fill a battery. Practice with my new abilities a bit. Stretch some more. Scoot to bed when Nibbles poked me, eyebrow raised (seriously, the freaking

yarrb

was eyebrowing me now?), indicating I was overdoing it.

Take a nap. Open my eyes to realize it had gone twice as long as intended.

By the time I was eating lunch, even I had to admit that the rest was helping. Dangit. The pain was receding inch by inch, each layer gone revealing a new and different pain underneath that it had been concealing. Emily came by around then, Aura doing much better than before, and soaked some more of my pain away. Not much, but some. I could feel muscles start to unclench a bit. Emily wasn't long, but it was nice.

When Sarah got home, she told me to lay down and strip. Her hands began to touch my back, and I

immediately

understood why the others had reacted the way they did. She played every cord of muscles beside my spine like a lute, pressing in to push out what felt like a bag of gravel. Knot after knot of tense muscle melted under her palm. I had never gotten a massage in my wing muscles, and the feel of the tension leaving them sent aftershocks through my whole body. With a series of pops, she adjusted what felt like every bone in my spine to sit right, from my hips to the base of my skull, then my arms and hands.

Then she rolled me over and did something that was unique for me. She removed her panties, straddled me, and inserted me down to the base. With gentle motions, she kept the sensation up there while massaging my chest and neck. Each abdominal, each pectoral, every connector and stabilizer got individual attention from her. She spun to face my legs and did the same. When her thumbs pressed into the arches of my feet, intense and pleasurable, they popped loudly. To be fair, right about then, so did I. I barely had the presence of mind to Shapeshift myself infertile before blasting up into her. It had been nearly a full day, the amount was enough to fill her completely and overflow.

Cleanup was worth it.

With a smile on her face, she cleared off a bit of space to set her desk back up and got tinkering. I glanced at my phone after a message came in, then caught the date. Hard to believe it was Saturday again already, a week ago we had been training to prepare to send Lucy down into a delve. Two weeks ago, and I... yeesh, was it really only two weeks ago that we were struggling to make rent and Feed?

I shook my head. Mind was drifting a bit. I checked my Status again, and really wished I hadn't. Mana was nearly full, but my health and stamina were most certainly not. Maybe Emily would know something about taking care of the fact I was recovering so slow? Sarah seemed to be working on a glove of some kind. I remembered what seemed like a lifetime ago, asking her to make something like that.

Something was bugging me. Several somethings. Patterns were forming up, but just not making sense. It all felt like... a puzzle piece was missing. It all felt like I needed to figure it out, like it was important. It was making me restless. It was no lie that the sensation of onrushing events was getting stronger. What was the next threat going to be? Another demon? A mob attack? Police? Knowing my luck, it would be a mob-compromised policeman turned into a demon.

Demons. Curses. What was even going on with that horrible curse I kept on having to deal with? Why were the tactics changing? It was a magical construct, it shouldn't have been doing that. It didn't make sense.

And what about my crazy new abilities? Do I just sit back and accept the development as I go? Try to grind out more practice and levels? Suggest a strict regimen of sex to accelerate things as much as I could? I was not sure exactly what made my Charisma percentage meter fill that fast. It was not slowing down much, either, already progressing forward.

And, of course, the Auras. Was it possible for everyone in the family to sync up? Would that be a good idea? What even caused it? Too many choices coming too fast. I could feel myself breathing harder. My vision narrowed. My brain was spinning itself in circles, I couldn't stop it. I had to stop it so that I could work on the crises in front of me, on top of the little logistical things, but they built up and I couldn't. The fact that there were so many unresolved kept me from focusing on any of them enough to do anything about it.

I felt her hug me, reaching a scarlet hand to pull my head down to rest on her bosom. Lucy and I were sitting on the bed, somehow. I heard her whisper something into my ear. A reassurance, acceptance. I felt my own tears start, then. They flowed freely, my throat raw, my body shaking. She was patient. When did she even get home? I'd missed it. She laid me back down. I wasn't asleep, I could hear people talking after she quietly stepped out.

"He's always been a planner. Really controls things. I think the last two weeks are catching up with him. How are you supposed to plan around

this

?"

"That explains how I've been feeling recently. He wants predictability with limited spontaneity in certain situations, a bit of an odd mix. I feel like I need to sit down and write out the perfect days to randomly pull down his pants and give him an hour-long edged handjob." Sounded like Amber, but... her voice had changed, subtly. Firmer? Half a hair lower?

"Yep, that's him alright. Nobody else quite like him, not in all the years we've been married or before. He acts confident and mysterious, but half the time he's just as surprised as you are when something happens. He just... already had a plan somewhere it fits into."

The voices faded, must have walked out of earshot. Pity, the conversation was informative. One woman who has known me better than anyone but myself for most of seven years. Another who is being actively shaped by my subconscious. There isn't a psychologist in the world who could come close to that.

I laid there, just breathing. Recomposing myself. Nobody but Lucy needed to see me breaking down, despite all of them seeing me fall yesterday. I stood again, ready, but the door opened before I got to it. "Time for a checkup, Jay." Emily's Aura still was not back up to snuff, so I knew this time was not a euphemism. She didn't siphon any pain or injury directly this time. Must still be recovering from yesterday.

"Emily, I have a question. Ever since the Black Cat attack, my everything is dropping extremely fast, and I'm not recovering well. Any idea what that means more precisely?"

She froze. Looked me in the eye. "You are Critically Injured? And you fought a demon in that state? I've asked you before and I'll do so again,

how are you alive

?"

I blinked. I didn't feel THAT bad. "What do you mean?"

"You know that our readouts don't have the same meaning for everyone. A level one child at 100% HP still has less health than, say, a supremely overconfident Incubus Tank at 20%." Okay, ow. "Critically Injured is a theoretical status. It doesn't show up on your screen, but we know it has to exist somewhere. It indicates that you have been playing hopscotch with the line between life and death. Most people who get into circumstances where it shows up don't get to ask doctors about it later, they're too busy chatting with Saint Peter. Explains why trying to pull injuries out of you almost made me faint."

... well then. It did explain a lot. Other than, of course, how I was still alive. "Um. Well. Know anything about how to get past it?"

"No idea. Hard to gather data on something so elusive. Some of the suspected cases just never improved, or died shortly afterwards. Others said they got better over the course of months, still more reported waking up one morning with their readouts under half after going to sleep at a hundred, and feeling like their old selves again."

"I can't afford to take that kind of time. I need to be able to lead from the front."

"You have to accept that isn't going to be a thing for you anymore, Mr. Guild Leader, Sir." Oh, the tone of voice there at the end was sharp enough to use as a scalpel. "If you're lucky, hang out on the back line with your wife and Gloria. If you're not, then you're going to be leading us from that bed." She turned and left.

I felt cold, in a way that had nothing at all to do with the temperature. I had built my entire life around certain capabilities. Around a body that worked a certain way. I had poured blood, sweat, and tears into it, both literally and figuratively. Now, the moment my Guild was on the rise once more, I was out of the fight. The door creaked open again, Nibbles wanted some cuddles. It helped.

It was better to be here for my team. To still be the planner, the diplomat, the logistician. The husband that Lucy deserved. I still wanted to live this life, as crazy as it was. I shook my head. There were things I could still do. First among them was to recover, as much as I could. I could not do anything else effectively until that happened. I could still coordinate. I could still plan. I just needed to redo things with new limits in my head.

It still hurt worse than getting the wounds in the first place.

I was composed when I stepped out of the room, and started taking stock. Most of the ladies had returned, and were swapping notes. Really, could have been a particularly demonic book club to an outside observer. Notebooks, chattered conversation, laughs, nods. It was nice. Lucy had even gotten Amber started on a notebook of her own.

The Auras flickering everywhere got my brain started. I could solve that. Simple chart, right?

Lucy was synced with everyone but the two newest girls, Gloria and Amber. Those two were not synced with anyone. Sarah's Aura seemed to do so with Whitney as well, and really strongly with Lucy. Almost like it was an active sync instead of a passive? What could it...