People often say that, as you grow older, you start noticing with greater clarity what’s going on around you. Now I always wrote that off with every other saying like, school years are your best, you have to be pretty to count, diamonds are a girl’s best friend and so on. Now unfortunately I must admit that lately I have been noticing things around me, things I don’t think I’m all to keen on noticing.
My solution to this was to buy a diary. Not to original I must admit but hey, it’s worked for others so why not me. Anyway, instead of starting with “Dear Diary” I think I’ll just cut straight to the chase.
My name is Sally, I’m relatively good looking, I’ve relatively good grades which I get at a relatively good University, I’m relatively poor so I live with my relatively normal family in a relatively safe neighborhood. I guess what I’m trying to say is I’m normal.
Now up to about my last birthday, I just turned 19, I thought our family was normal but nice. Sometimes I must confess, I fantasized about some excitement. Now I’m starting to think I was dreadfully wrong.
I first noticed “funny things” when our new neighbors arrived. They seemed fine at first but there was just something not quite right. Then Ma started going over a lot. She’s been unhappy since my father’s death, 18 years ago he got run over by a lawn mower. Recently however, that changed and I have been left to get reacquainted with a mother who whistles (rather badly) to the Beatles in the morning.
At this point, after reading what I just wrote I must admit I kindda want to call myself an idiot. Your mother who’s been a sour old bitch suddenly blooms into this nice, pretty thing who’s happy all the time. Heck I should run over and kiss my neighbors feet and his sons just for good measure. However I hesitate to do so for several reasons which I shall state below.
Firstly they do not have a dog. Wait for it. Secondly there’s howling every night coming from their place. Do not even think for a second it’s the TV.
“Dear, can I come in?”
“Sure Ma, it’s open.”
“Here’s your ironing darling, all neatly folded. Do make sure you put it away now won’t you?”
“Of course.”
“Oh and dear?”
“Yeah?”
“I’m going out with Jeremy, you remember Jeremy? Well, I really don’t think it would be safe for you to stay here on your own so I invited his sons over.”
“What? I’m 19 I’m perfectly safe. I know how to handle a gun and I don’t need a stranger in my house.”
“Dear, look, sit down.”
“I’m sitting.”
“Oh, well look hunny I know this is a bit sudden, but, Jeremy and I are getting married.”
“Oh.”
“So as we plan to live together after the wedding it would be good for you to get to know your brothers a bit better.”
“I see. Well, congratulations, I hope he makes you happy, heck as long as you keep doing my laundry I really don’t care. Just kidding. So am I invited?”
“To what dear.”
“The wedding.”
“Why of course darling. Now look I’ve got to get ready, I’ll give you all the details later. Now remember to be nice to Richard and Gilbert.”
“Yes Ma.”
Wow, wow, what? Married? Oh dear, what if I don’t like him? What if I don’t like him so much I have to leave? I can’t afford that! Ok, it can’t be that bad, all those things I saw can’t be true. It’s just my imagination, now where’s that diary. I better burn it. Oh, gosh all those stories about dreadful brothers and what they do to your private stuff. Well as long as I make it clear that they can’t steal my dirty laundry or walk in without knocking then we’ll be fine. I can handle this, I can, I’m a strong mature adult there is no need to panic. After all, my mother is getting married, I should be happy for her she obviously is.
I need to take a shower. Of all the annoying habits, needing to take a shower when I’m nervous why can’t I just pace?
“Oh, sorry Ma, didn’t know you where in there.”
What was that? It looked like a molting werewolf having a shave. I didn’t know my mother was so hairy, especially in those parts. I didn’t know anybody was that hairy there. Please God this does not mean I’ll developed a full grown beard down to my knees as I get older. I should have paid more attention in biology class; I’d be able to know everything, even the percentage of hair I’m likely to grow because of our mutual hairy gene or whatever they’re called.
“Hun, it’s the doorbell, can you get that?”
“Sure!”
“Hello?”
“Hi, I’m Richard.”
“Oh, do come in, nice dog. Where’s Gilbert? I was under the impression that you where both coming over.”
“Yeah, he couldn’t make it. Last minute adjustments on an important deal at work, you know how it is. He said it would take him all evening to finish.”
“Oh. Ok.”
1:00
Well that wasn’t too bad. He likes movies and art. Big plus, sure he likes football but at least he doesn’t play. He has a good job, though for the life of me I can’t remember what it is. I wonder why two grown boys live with their father, especially since they both have good, well paid jobs. The overall impression was nice, I especially liked that gorgeous dog of his, couldn’t stop petting him all night. I wonder where they keep him; I’ve never seen a kennel or anything. At least it explains that dreadful howling, I can even forgive Rover for it. He was so lovely and that silky fur, oh! Well I better stop thinking about tonight, it’s so time for bed and I’m dreadfully sleepy.
Wha- what? What? Not again! Instead of Rover they should have called that dog Siren. I’ve never heard anything like that howl of his, its dreadful! I have to get ear-muffs. Hey wait a minute, I’m going to be related to that dog, I can go and complain. Well if you have the right, for God’s sake exercise it before your eardrums burst!
“Open up!!!! Richard, open this door right now! You can’t be asleep with that howling going on, so open the damn door before I break it in!”
“Shhhh, you’ll wake the neighbors. Now go home, it’s late.”
“Richard I’ll be damned if I’m going home, now let me in, I want to know what’s going on. What are you doing to that poor dog?”
“Dad can I let her in?”
“Yeah.”
“Come on in.”
“Well it’s about, what the fuck????”
I did not see that, I did not see that, I did not see that. Please, pretty please I did not see that.
“Dad, I think she’s freaked out.”
“Give her here Richard, don’t you know not to keep a lady standing? Especially, a lady in shock.”
“Shut up Gil.”
“Don’t YOU touch me.”
“Sally its ok; I’m not going to hurt you.”
“Not going to hurt me???? You just turned from a nice dog into a human and you expect me to believe a word you say??? Don’t touch me!!! Let me go, LET ME GO, LET ME GO!!!! HELP!!! SOMEBODY, HELP!!! M-mmm-mm-MM!!!”
“Richard, Dad, look I think I should handle this. You both have important things to do tomorrow. I’ll explain everything to her.”
“You sure man, I mean, she’s really struggling.”
“Yeah son, are you sure you can handle her?”
“It’s fine. Just a minor inconvenience, by tomorrow morning it’ll all have been worked out. We were going to have to do this anyway so better it’s over and done with. Now off you go, goodnight.”
“Night man.”
“Night son.”
“Now Sally, listen, I’m just going to wait till you stop struggling and then I’ll explain everything to you. I won’t hurt you I promise.”
HELP! HELP! Help? Wimper... This has got to be a dream; a mad, dog-human thing is holding me captive. Sounds like a newspaper headline. Ok, let’s think this through rationally. I’m getting really tired of struggling, number one, I’m kindda thirsty, number two, and if he was going to kill me he would have done it earlier. It would have been a lot quicker and a lot more painless, for him. Anyway, I liked him as a dog so what’s to say I won’t like him now. Sure he’s weird but aren’t we all, a bit? Maybe I should give him a chance. Bottom line he’s stronger than me so I might as well succumb to the inevitable, whatever that may or may not be. I think I’ll stop struggling now, I’m really thirsty. Maybe he’ll get me a glass of water.
“Sally? Ok, if you’re ready to listen, nod your head.”
That’s kind of hard when it’s being crushed to your chest you idiot! Nod. God I’m exhausted, I couldn’t move if I wanted to, most inconvenient really.
“Now listen closely, I’m not letting go of your mouth cause what I’m about to say will probably come as a shock. I’m a werewolf.”
No kidding, I would never have guessed. I do watch movies you nit, get on with it, I’m really thirsty now.
“There’s more. This too could come as a shock but, here goes. You’re a werewolf too.”
“H-mmmm-mmm!”
“What? Oh, sorry, I’ll take my hand off your mouth now but I’m not releasing you completely.”
“I’m no werewolf. I think I would have noticed the excessive hair, the howling, the shape changing and most of all the love of human harts and the allergy to silver. So I’m sorry but your way off the mark wolfy, oh dear, that doesn’t mean your going to eat me does it?”
“No, um look. I’m afraid all those stories are a little off. Werewolves don’t eat meat, but fruit. We love silver, we’re very romantic, mate for life and only a small proportion of us change monthly. Mostly we can control our bodies completely.”
“Fruit? You’ve got to be kidding, are you really telling me that werewolves are just nice, cuddly freaks?”
“You could put it that way, yeah.”
“Fine but that still doesn’t explain why you think I’m one of you.”
“It’s very simple really, your mother is.”
“Oh, I see. Well that does explain a lot. Um, could you shift a little? I’m getting a crick in my neck and if possible I’d like some water.”
“I’ll carry you to the kitchen.”
“Better?”
“Yes thank you. I have a few questions now if you could oblige me.”
“Sure, you comfy?”
“Yes thank you, your chest is very nice. Now, why didn’t my mother tell me?”
“After her mate died she fell into a depression. Till she met my father, you could say she didn’t give a damn about anything.”
“Ok. Next. How can you howl all night without the neighbors complaining?”
“Only werewolves can hear each other howl.”
“Oh. I guess my next question is why are you howling?”
“I’m lonely and it’s a way of calling my soul mate to me.”
“Your soul mate?”
“Yeah.”
“Any luck?”
“Not yet.”
I’m really sleepy now, I can feel my eyelids drifting shut. Oh, no, not good, not good. However nice and comfy his chest is it’s not advisable to fall asleep on a werewolf one’s just met. It’s not polite either, especially when he’s telling you how lonely and sexually deprived he is. M-mmm, sleep, it sounds so nice, maybe if I just close my eyes and listen to him for a little while longer...
Oh, I feel so refreshed. M-mmm, he smells good, must be a special were cologne. Uhh, go away light. I hate the way it edges round your tightly sealed lids and pops in, makes my head ache. Maybe if I shift and bury my head in his armpit, ah better. My God, he smells yummy. You know, that dreadfully alluring masculine sent that just whispers of good, oh so good violent sex. Then if your lucky he caries you off to bed and makes soft love to you till your so sated you can’t move. That sent, mmm, my toes are tingling. Obviously I need a boyfriend, desperately.
“Morning bro!”
