Darrell laughed at me.
I gave him my best pouty look. "I really want a shower and some clothes that fit me."
"You shall have them. Go take your shower and your clothes will be waiting on the bed for you. Oh and should you need help washing your back, I will gladly volunteer for that." He said with a smirk.
I shoved at him and went into the bathroom. When I was in here the first time, I didn't really appreciate how big it really is. There is a huge jetted tub in the corner, surrounded by marble tiles; next to it is a shower that is big enough for at least 4 people. It reminded me of the bathroom renovations I had watched on TV. It had the dual shower heads and a rain head in the center and it also sprayed from all sides. Wow, I have died and gone to shower heaven. I thought.
I turned on the water, adjusted the temperature to pleasantly hot, and jumped in. It felt great to have all that wonderful water hitting all the parts of my body. I could stay in here forever as long as I had hot water.
Holy shit. So much has happened in such a short time. I feel totally safe with Darrell, and his sister Julie is great, but can I handle this. I know he thinks I am strong but I am really not. I just do what I have to. I always have. I make things work, or at least I try to. But my life is a mess. I couldn't hold my family together after my Mom passed away, granted I tried, but my brother's are all whipped and their women are crazy money grubbing bitches that had no idea how to take care of my Sissy. I did what I had to. I had to protect her from their continuous broken promises and hurtful lies. I was only strong for her. It killed me inside.
I kept thinking about things, and was so absorbed in my own thoughts that I didn't hear the shower door open, and Darrell come in. I almost screamed when he touched my back. I know I jumped.
"I didn't mean to scare you. Where were you, you were so lost in thoughts and I felt your sadness. Want to talk about it?" he asked.
"No, not really, I was just thinking that you have a lot of faith in me to be strong enough to handle all this, but I am not that strong. I just try to make the best of all the shit I have on my plate. I am only strong because I had to be for my sister. I had to protect her. It tore me up inside. I always questioned if what I was doing was the right thing. I spent many nights crying myself to sleep over the choices I made to protect her. I wasn't strong." I said with tears in my eyes.