Alien Sex at Low Resolution

I saw here a few weeks back that "Old Scratch" had written in with some more of his poisoned crap, and I figured I should set a few things straight.

First of all "Old Scratch" ain't that old. He's a bullshitter from the getgo tho' and it shows.

For example he sez he was there when Zeus raped Leda.

Bwah. Leda's safe in Hades, now, where Scratch has no dominion (another of his lies.. he dares not walk with the dead) so I s'pose there's no harm now in saying what went down.

It all started, I guess, one day when I was lazin' about sunnin' myself on some warm rocks, feedin' my pet "budgies", and minding my own business.

All of a sudden, I get this weird tingling in the hairs on the back of my neck ('bout all I got left for hair) like I hadn't felt in years, 'cus the Gods don't come to visit me too much anymore, and suddenly theres lightning and thunder all about and the next moment his BigNess, hisself, is standin' there in front of me.

"Listen, old friend," he begins.

'Old friend?' I think to meself, but he continued: "I know we've had our differences, but we've got a problem now that you can help me with."

'Hoho', I thot, 'the Imperial We of Olympus has a problem that he needs my help with? "Must be quite the problem, indeedy."

Zeus continued "If you help me with this, I'll unbind you from this rock, so long as you don't, well, let the sisters know your loose."

"The sisters? I thot them your good slaves. Whassup, Massah?" I replied, my interest suddenly peaking.

I stood up and shook the diamond chains he'd laid on me at those bitches behest. "I don't gotta even listen till you take these offa me" I snarled at him "I've wiped your ass and theirs too many times for this shit." Poof. The chains were gone and my "pets" flew screeching off like the world biggest tomcat had just dropped into their midst.

'Must be *quite* a problem' I thot again.

"One of them is going to murder this, er, girl," Z went on, "and I need your help to stop them".

'Aye, here's the rub', I thot, 'He's got another tart and the Ladies don't like the competition.

"No, I know what your thinking and it's not so. I wouldn't bother attempting to suade you to my side for a piece of fluff. You'd look into that place you see all thoughts and play me and hang me by the balls, just for a laugh.

"No, its a problem perhaps more of your ken." He looked suspiciously at me from under an eyebrow so black it was purple. "And it won't help you to imply it's already in your mind."

I was actually stumped. Not an ordinary occurrence.

"Her name is Leda, and the oracle has told me that if she is harmed Olympus will fall. And those fool women think it's some plot of mine to replace them with mortals or I don't know what.

"I want you to watch her and keep her safe. Take her and hide her from their wrath. When you meet this Leda, you'll understand what the problem is. Aphrodite just wants to fuck her, but Hera, 'Tena and Di are insanely jealous for she's their equal at the hunt and command.

"She's not to my taste, you understand."

I did. Zeus has a thing for pliant fluff.

"Keep her safe 'til she passes Charon's raft again. The oracle tells me she is some creature of Hades, who has passed back across the Styx, and that her unnatural life or death will unbind Chaos, tho' I ken not how.

"Help me with this. She is innocent, and it will not trouble your foreseeing to help her."

We stood there a moment, and I sat back down, saying nothing. This was strange news, and not much that's new I don't know about. I was already hooked and he knew it, so it wouldn't hurt to let him stew a moment before my answer.

Eventually, I spoke "Alright. But the chains stay off. As for the Sisters, tell them what you want, but if any issue comes of this, the blame is yours."

And that's where the Rape came in.

It was all just a lie that Zeus, true to his word, made up to hide the fact that Leda's children were all by Forethought;-)