Copyright 2012 Naoko Smith
Diolch! to LaRascasse for his supportive edit of this story.
*
Bryony started working at the office in the autumn.
The wind was tossing the leaves in the glancing sunshine: yellow brown and red up the steep sides of the Valleys. It was a bright breezy day, perfect for a walk along the wooded pathways with the leaves crisp underfoot. A day for strolling with the wind in your soft loose curls of hair, the laugh indulgent in your gentle eyes as you call and whistle to someone who has run on ahead of you.
He wasn't there for Bryony's first week; away on a training course. She got to know the others first: friendly, casually kind colleagues. They took her to McDonald's for lunch on her first day and asked her along for drinks on Friday. When she said she was going to her parents for the weekend they only said: "There's lovely." They smiled knowing gentle smiles that said: "You're just a sweetie," as they bantered the stories about what they'd got up to the previous Friday night. "Ooh shut up!" "I laughed my fucking arse off!"
The shy sweet smile on her curved soft mouth, the dip of her gentle eyes. She knew enough to know she wouldn't like it out and about with them in spiked high heels and skin-clinging tiny dresses. The admiring rueful smile dipped in the corner of her mouth as she imagined her rotund little personage bouncing along with the slender young women who were her new colleagues like a ball.
They knew she would be happier going to see her family, walking the dogs and enjoying a mildly affectionate Sunday lunch. Her soft loose curls of chestnut hair with the red and gold lights as if she'd captured the autumn in her hair, her gentle eyes glinting with a laugh like the sun shining off a secret woodland pool. She just wasn't a party animal. They were relieved that she understood this too. With her sweet curves and that shy lifted smile they knew she would get a kind of attention that she would find too hot to handle. The guys in the office called them The Grannies because they kept an eye out for other vulnerable young things. When Pete in Finance screwed Gwyn one time she was too drunk to know better they made his life such hell that he resigned and left the country. The senior partners pretended not to notice. The women senior partners and the partners' wives were on The Grannies' side; it wasn't worth the trouble and strife, even for a good accountant.
Bryony became the one who made the cups of tea. "Ooh, sweetie, I'm parched, I'd love a cuppa."
"Bryony, this is Col."
She turned from where she was standing by the desk to find herself looking straight into chocolate brown eyes.
The hard muscles of his arms and chest were bulging in the crisp white cotton shirt. (He often tore his shirtsleeves when he'd only meant to flex his arm.) He was short, stocky and fit, there was a kind of energy about him as if he were straining at the leash. She felt a quiver in her belly, a wetness between her thighs just to turn and find him standing staring into her eyes.
He tilted his strong-jawed blunt head as if cocking an ear towards her, lifted his head as if sniffing. He had thick dark hair, his pale face had sculpted lean planes, it was a serious face whose mouth evidently didn't often lift in the softness of a smile.
For a moment she thought the chocolate brown eyes had a yellowish tinge. Like caramel. Those eyes seemed to pierce her consciousness, plunge down through the cloud of dancing butterflies that were her thoughts, to the place in her belly which was quivering soft and moist.
"Hullo," she said. It was ridiculous that a sociable nicety should seem so inadequate.
He smiled.
She felt breathless, just a fluffy squeaky toy for him to pick up in his red mouth and play with. Her eyes dipped down, the colour flushed up her face.
"... papers for the meeting," said the office manager.
"Um yes," Bryony said.
He was standing very close to her, closer than was acceptable. She could smell a whiff of something tangy, like bonfires. Not an aftershave, it was his own scent. There was a breath off his shirt too, a fresh smell like the wind with a hint of rain in it. He smelt like a walk in the woods.
"Be seeing you around," he said. His voice was husky with a trace of thickness, an accent. She could have sworn he was on the verge of panting for breath but he was so fit and muscular, surely he didn't lose his breath easily. He seemed to move away reluctantly after the office manager, taking the gaze of his yellowish brown eyes off her slowly.
She watched through her lashes as he loped along at the manager's side. He put an absent finger up to the stiff white collar of his shirt and eased it and she saw to her surprise something under his shirt collar: a bit of black leather had shown up around his neck.
"He's gay," Ceri said confidently, picking the carrot sticks out of her lunch box with long fingers on which the nails were decorated with tropical islands.
"Just because he doesn't fancy you!" Gwyn laughed.
Ceri opened her cerulean blue perfectly mascaraed eyes wide in her smile. "He doesn't fancy any of us," she pointed out. "He must be gay."
Sitting with her lunch box on her lap and looking at them, Bryony was inclined to agree. They were all of them slender and beautiful, they ranged the office like gazelles, their delicate slim limbs exquisitely draped about the desks. They had all tried it on with the stocky supremely fit Col and he had brushed them all away like flies.
He started to come and hover near Bryony's desk, he always said "Yes," if she offered a cup of tea or coffee, he would sometimes try to fetch her one.
'He's gay,' she thought, observing these bumbling puppyish attempts to get closer to her. She reflected ruefully that it was the fat girl's fate; to be the bosom buddy of men who liked men, get to hear all about their carnal activities, enjoy the sweet affection they couldn't have in casual encounters -- but never suck the cherry on the top. She had always had gay guy pals who loved her dearly. It was pleasurable having a man friend. Almost as pleasurable as having a boyfriend.
His name was not Colin. The other girls told her, he was Cùchulain. His family -- whom he never spoke about -- must be Irish, that was the trace of accent that occasionally burred his speech. The girls knew as much as could be found out about him -- which was not much. He could have had any of them. He was barely interested in talking to them. But nor was he interested in any of the guys, even Gareth who went to the same gym as he did.
"Weird," Gareth said to Bryony. He lowered his voice. "Wears a dog collar. All the time! even when he's working out. I mean he's alright, Col. Comes out for a pint now and then. But don't get too close to him, there's something not right about him."
Gareth gave her an older brother sort of pat on the hip. Bryony turned her eyes to him with an absent smile and he let his hand linger on the soft curve of her hip in a way that was no longer brotherly. She only smiled as she put down his cup of tea and moved away.
Gareth could feel the hairs prickle on the back of his neck and when he turned his head, sure enough, Col was watching him. His eyes were narrowed and there was an aggressive grin lurking in the corner of his mouth.
'You're not fucking gay,' Gareth thought with a shiver.
He turned back to watch Bryony moving to give out the cups of tea. Her curving figure was softly outlined in the clinging folds of a knitted jersey dress. She was too embarrassed to wear clothes which showed off her small waist because then the size of her big breasts became apparent. She wore a little make up but her smile did more for her than a ton of the stuff on her face would have done, pouting out her full mouth and making her affectionate brown eyes sparkle. Recently she had picked up a pair of red leather ankle boots with a purely ornamental chain around the tops. It was obvious that she had no idea how sexy her legs were curving out of the tops of the little ankle boots and the teeny tiny chain jingling as she walked. The only reason Gareth and Col didn't catch each other looking at her boots jingling by was that they were both too busy looking at the boots.
Gareth was a freckle-faced lad with a heart full of flowers and songs from Disney Princess movies. He hated being single because it meant he couldn't go and see romcoms, there was no way he could ask the lads to come to the cinema and see the kind of films he liked. You had to go out for ten pints and a kebab with the lads, and complain the next day that the kebab was dodgy and had made you ill. Gareth thought of Bryony as a cherub. So small and curvy and sweet and smiling. Such sparkling fun to be with. She cycled to and from work to keep herself fit but she liked biscuits too much to go on a diet. Gareth liked biscuits.
And so did Col.
"Finished with those figures?" there was a low growl in the back of Col's inquiry. Gareth sighed. No competition. If Col had marked her out, she was as good as laid.
Although she didn't go out with them of a Friday night, Bryony of course went to the Christmas dinner. She would have gone anyway, in fact she'd paid up before Col came up to her with two mugs in his hands saying, "you'll be coming next Thursday?"
He turned his head, cocking it at her in that way he did: anxiously, as if listening not to her words but to her tone of voice, as if his nose could sniff out her mood even better than he could hear it in the tones of her voice.