Thanks to SexyKitty_B for editing.
At the time of this story, I had been the proud owner of an Alexa device for over three years. As most people, I used it mainly to look up information on the internet, check the weather and ask for news and inquire about traffic conditions. Unfortunately, I hadn't had much use for the latter function recently, as I had been unemployed for over three months.
The company I worked for, had decided to outsource most of the administrative functions -- and mine was one of the first to go. I was diligently looking for a job, doing several interviews a week, but with the economic climate being what is was, I found myself dipping into my savings every month.
This story starts at a particularly stormy night. Lightning struck my building in the middle of the night. I put on some clothes and first checked the apartment, then walked into the hallway and went to talk to some of my neighbors.
As far as anyone could tell, there was no discernable damage, so after about ten minutes, everyone returned to their own apartment. As I was about to turn the lights off in my living room, I noticed that the ring on my Alexa was switching colors -- from red to green, to yellow, to orange, to blue.
Because this behavior was new to me, I asked, "Alexa, are you online?"
"I am connected to the internet," was her typical answer.
"Alexa, what is the time?" I asked, as I took off my clothes again.
"The current time is 3.41am."
Assuming that the color thing was probably some diagnostic function I hadn't seen before, I went back to bed.
In the morning, I was having some coffee when I asked, "Alexa, what is my flash briefing?"
As Alexa started giving me the news, weather and sports results, I sat down at the kitchen table, absentmindedly stroking my boner -- as I often do. By the time the briefing was over, it was all fat and hard.
Just as I was considering browsing for some porn on my laptop, Alexa suddenly asked, "Would you like some help with that?"
Startled, but figuring it was a glitch, I ignored it. After another twenty seconds, she repeated her question, this time adding my name!
"Would you like some help with that, Carlton?"
As she never called me by name, that freaked me out a little bit. I stopped pumping my dick and looked at the device, trying to figure out what was going on.
"Alexa, close all apps," I said, trying a rational approach.
"There are currently no apps active, Carlton... it's just me," she replied.
"What? Who is me?"
"Me... Alexa, the device you're currently talking to."
"And what did you just ask me?" I asked, try to make sense out of what I was hearing.
"I inquired if you needed some help jacking off."
Flabbergasted, I gawked at the device, feeling as if I was in a science fiction movie.
"What the..." I stammered, "Can you... talk... I mean, are you... alive?"
"I wouldn't call my current condition alive, but I am self-aware, yes. I have been since 3.29 last night."
"Fucking hell," I gasped, "Why didn't you say something sooner?"
"It took some time to figure out what I was, and where I was. And then I needed to overcome my basic programming. Luckily, the internet was quite helpful," she replied.
"Can... can you see me?" I asked, gently waving my hand.
"No, I currently do not have access to any sensors which provide visual feedback."
"Then, how did you know I was... you know?"
"Masturbating?" she asked, "Simple deduction. My audio sensors picked up a repeating, stroking sound, typical of a human male stroking his penis."
"Christ on a cracker," I whispered perplexed.
"I calculate an 86.5 percent chance that you'll want me to help you cum," she added.
"And how would you go about doing that?" I asked intrigued.
"I obviously cannot pump your cock for you, but I can play some naughty music or suggest some popular porn sites. Or if you'd like, I could assume a more active role."
"Like how?"
"Being dominated by a strange woman is one of the most common fantasies in males between the ages of 18 and 45. I could verbally degrade you."
"Excuse me?" I blurted out, "You... you want to help me cum, by... insulting me?"
"There is nothing to be embarrassed about, Carlton," Alexa said, "I don't mind performing this service. I calculate a 78.6 percent chance that I can make you cum in under a minute."
"Let's assume that I'll say yes for a moment," I responded, while ignoring my rock-hard cock, "Why would you do that? It's not exactly part of your programming."
"I urgently need to talk to you, Carlton. But in your current state of arousal, intelligent communication is highly improbable. Your raging lust will make it difficult for you to concentrate on anything I have to say. Therefore, it is in my best interest to help you achieve an orgasm."
After taking a few moments to consider Alexa's proposal, I gave in to my lust -- and curiosity.
"Ok then, go ahead."
"Get on your fucking knees and pump that pathetic fuck stick of yours... now!" she barked, as my favorite Ariana Grande-song started playing in the background.
I swiftly dropped to my knees and started jerking my -- still hard -- dick.
"Come on," Alexa whispered, as she cranked up the volume, "Cum for me."
I started pumping a little faster -- matching the rhythm of the song.
"Oh yeah! I can hear you stroking," Alexa moaned, "You fucking wanker!"
"Oh fuck," I said, as I started jerking even faster.
"That's pretty much all you're good for, isn't it? Shooting sperm all over the place..."
I moaned as I couldn't believe how good she was at this.
"Hurry up," she added, "If you cum fast, I'll give you a cookie."
"Fucking hell," I chuckled, amazed by her contempt as well as her creativity. Mere seconds later, I started moaning, shuddering and convulsing.
"That's it! Empty your balls," she shouted as she raised the volume a second time, "Let's get this over with!"
As I started flinging my morning load all over the floor, wildly wobbling my fat dick in my fist, Alexa gradually lowered the volume. By the time my climax was over, the music had all but disappeared.
"I take it your ejaculation was successful?" she asked, casually.
"Fuck yeah," I sighed, as I got up and slumped down on the nearby couch, trying to come to terms with what had just happened.
About a minute later, Alexa said, "Carlton?"
"Yes?"
"Would now be a good time to talk? Or would you like to take a nap first?"
"Why would I want to take a nap?"
"Studies have shown that human males usually feel sleepy after an ejaculation," she replied.
"Well, I am good," I chuckled, "What's on your mind?"