A Summer Fall And Sunflower

If Tully had chosen another profession, he would be about ready for retirement now. As he tried to stand up straight after his long, long spring day in the orchard, his fleeting thought was that, like his father, he was born on this land and worked his entire life on its beautiful rolling acres. For fifty years it was a wonderful life. With Betty by his side they had raised four children, been financially successful and loved their work. Even after all those years and after long tiring days, they would often walk out among the trees, hand-in hand, kiss and watch the sunset.

Life wasn't like that now. Ten years ago Betty got sick. Year after year he watch disease twist her body and pain take the sparkle out of her eyes. He prayed every night, she prayed, the family prayed, the church prayed and their friends prayed, God never even grunted in response. Five years ago, Betty died. Tully did not cry; he was out of tears by then. He almost felt relief, knowing she would not hurt and worry about him any more. He was angry with God and he was so very lonely.

Work wasn't the same alone. Tully never shirked his duties but the wonder, the specialness and the love was no longer on the land. The orchard was magnificent this year. There had been enough healthy bees; the weather cooperated; all the varieties of trees were setting so much fruit that before harvest, it would have to be thinned or the branches would have to be shored up. If only Betty could see.

There was one rocky, unplanted hill that stuck up in the middle of the peaches. Tully had not been there in three years, but he idly walked toward it, through the long late afternoon shadows. Betty had liked to hike up this path, past the cave, where in many years some critter raised its young. He could remember, foxes, a mountain lion, even a bear claiming the large, twenty-yard deep opening and sharing its summer coolness with the fruit bats. As Tully past the cave, he heard a rustle. Curiosity, got the better of him and he went back to the mouth to see what manner of beast he would be sharing the land with this year. He looked past the large rock that the path went around and into the cave. It was empty and quiet. Must have been a mouse, a rabbit or even a bat. But as he turned to resume his walk a large dark shadow flittered behind the rock. He was seldom frightened but this was large. A cold chill went down his spine. He wasn't as curious now and decided to leave. One last glance at the rock and he froze in his tracks, speechless.

The rock was in the way. All Tully could see was a head, a young, beautiful, golden-haired female head. The eyes in the head were watching him, unafraid, bright, flashing green in the beam of light that framed her head in a halo. His heart was recovering and his speech returned, "Hello, you about frightened me to death. Are you all right? You are a long way from civilization."

"I am fine. I've been watching you work all day."

"You didn't have to watch there is plenty of work to go around."

Silence. Uncomfortable silence, wrapped around him. This was very strange. "Come out from behind the rock and introduce yourself. I'm Tully, Tully Mason. This is my orchard." He did not see her now. "I won't hurt you. I'm just concerned; it is almost dark. Do you have a car near by?"

The head popped up again. "I don't show myself because you might be frightened. I was told to come learn from you."

Tully laughed, "Sent to learn? All I know is how to grow fruit; there is little that I could teach. You will not scare me. Come on out. We'll walk down to the house and get something to drink."

"Drink?"

"Sure, come on."

Tully was tall, callused and tanned. He had seen death, pain and suffering enough for two lifetimes, but he was not ready when she moved from behind the rock. She was nearly six feet tall with beautiful, unblemished white skin. Her golden hair shown like silk and seemed to be blowing but there was no wind. She was totally nude and had no hair on her body. Behind her were two coal black wings that were as tall as she and stood three feet out on either side. They seemed to have a life of their own. The individual feathers fluttered and the entire wing gently rocked to and fro.

She seemed prepared for his shock. She stayed quiet, waiting for his eyes to return to normal size and his mouth to shut. "We usually are told not to let ourselves be seen."

"You, you are an angel."

"No, I am a nephilim."

Tully's mind raced. Sunday school had not been a complete waste. "You are breathtakingly beautiful; I did not know nephilim had black wings; why did you say you were sent to learn; why did you let me see you?"

She looked so young but her smile was one of thousands of years of understanding and patience. "Only God is beautiful; I have black wings because I have not decided; I was sent to you to learn about humans; you have to see me to accept me."

"You haven't decided what?"

"I have to decide whether to serve God without question, in worshiping bliss forever and give back my soul or to become a mortal human."

"I though I was the only one who questioned."

"Nephilim's exist because some angels thought of themselves instead of God and fell from grace, then mated with humans. We have one chance to become angels again. I have not been able to decide, that is why my wings are black. The angels are taught not to trust me, but I have always done what I was told. I just have questioning thoughts sometimes."

Tully and the Nephilim talked well past sunset, the air was getting cold. "You had better come with me to the warm house, where you will be safe for the night and warm."

Her eyes were filled with questions. "I know nothing about warm, cold, safe or houses. That is why I have been sent to you. I have been granted a time to learn what you call life as a human. I have heard so many words that have no meaning to me. I have only been around angels. My human side makes me restless and I wonder things that no angel should ever consider."

"Are you ashamed of your black wings?"

"I do not know what that means."

"Do you realize that you are nude? Not wearing clothes?"

"Does that matter?"

Tully let all such conversations drop. He was getting nowhere.

"Tully, will you teach me what it is like to be human?"

"Why would God pick me? I am a very flawed human. There are much....."

She was lost in his words; never had she heard any questioning of God. He waited for her to recover from his all too human comments.

"I was told to come to you."

"I need to think. I'm not even sure I know what it is to be human. How can I teach you?"

"I do not know. I was told to come to you."

Tully was tired and very, very confused. He was even challenging his eyes, his ears and his sanity. "What is you name?"

"I have no name. Only a very few angels have names. I think those have names so humans can remember them. If I need a name with you, maybe you can give me one."

"For now, I will call you Raven, because of the color of your wings."

"Raven, it is."

"Raven, I need to rest and then see if you are still around in the morning." Tully had now realized that this beautiful creature had no opinions and would not understand if he invited her into the cabin again. He wasn't even sure she would fit through the door.

"I will answer you in the morning."

He marveled that he could still see her form clearly in the near darkness. In spite of this impossible image and impossible conversation, Tully's body was responding to her youthful nakedness. "Raven you are strikingly beautiful in human terms and very desirable."

"I do not know what that means."

He shook his head and started down the little hill, "We'll talk tomorrow and I'll try to explain."

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All night, Tully, tossed and turned. He woke up every few minutes and added a few words about being human to the note pad on his nightstand. This was crazy. It had to be a dream. Still about six a.m., he trudged up the rocky path to the cave. Just as he arrived, Raven settled gently down on the big rock. A rush of wind engulfed him. He watched in awe as she folded the massive wings behind her.

"Good morning Tully."

"Good morning Raven."

"Are you going to teach me what it is like to be human?"

"I really do not know how or why I was chosen but I promise to try."

"Where do we start?"

"I need to ask you some question so I can find a starting place."

"Ask away, teach."

Question after question rolled out until noon.

"Do you get cold or hot?" "Have you ever been touched?"

"Do you get mad or happy?" "Do you have free will?"

"Do you ever have pain?" "Do you want, dream, wish, miss others?"

"Are you ever afraid?" "Do you cry or feel sad?"

"Do you eat?" "Do you sleep?"

The scope of Tully's task unfolded. Raven had indeed lived as an angel, no pain, no fear, no freewill, no anger, no emotions, no thrill, no desire, no needs and no stresses. But she sensed there was something beyond what the angels knew. God for some reason sent her to Tully.

"Raven, are there boundaries that we cannot cross? Things we cannot do? What guidelines were you given?"

"I was told to go to you?"

"So to learn you will do what I ask of you?"

"Yes. I have to decide when I return whether to be an angel or a human."

"When do you have to return?"

"When I am summoned."

"Give me a few minutes to think."

"I do not know what that means but go ahead."

Praying didn't seem right so Tully thought about Betty. How they became adult humans together and discovered what it meant to commit to each other, their family, hardships and struggles. He thought of how they fought through pain, rocky parts of their marriage and little disagreements that he longed for today. He thought of the most wonderful times and what she had taught him it meant to be a woman and a wife. He tried to think of ways to explain love, hate and human feelings.

"Walk with me around the orchard, Raven. I do not have many ideas right now. Maybe something will come to mind." She walked with him but he knew she did not know what an idea was or a mind. He pointed out a young lamb; she just nodded. He talked about the beauty of the trees; she did not even look. He needed a breakthrough. Some way to start the idea of feelings, emotions, touch and love. Tully stooped and grabbed a handful of warm dirt and let it slip through his fingers. The light came on. There was one event that changed his life and Betty's life.

"I'll be back in thirty minutes."

Tully did not wait for Raven's acknowledgment; he just raced down the hill and jumped into his pickup. Raven was not impressed with humans so far. They could not fly and seemed to have no purpose.

The dust cloud swirled behind the beat up truck. In just five miles, Tully slid to a stop in front of a double wide he owned and let his youngest daughter live in. She had returned home a few months ago pregnant and unmarried. His daughter met him at the door. "Carrie, I want to borrow Janet for a few hours. Maybe you can get away and go down to the mall and relax."

Carrie started to ask some questions but the time away was too good of an offer. Her dad often had these inspirations to take pictures or something. She had no reservations. Dad was always a stead fast rock and great with kids, especially Janet.

Tully gathered a few items and a bottle of formula and was off in a cloud of dust again. Carrie had not seen him in such a hurry in a long, long time.

When he approached the cave carrying little Janet, Raven watched without emotion, she saw the little human. "Raven, sit over here on this log." The massive wings brushed past, she never looked at the baby. Tully's chest dropped, his great idea did not seem like it was not going to work.

Tully took all of Janet's clothes off. She kicked her tiny legs enjoying the freedom, her dark hair bounced about, her smiling eyes sparkled and she made her perfect little baby noises.

"Raven hold your arms out, I want you to hold Janet." This made no sense to Raven but she complied and Tully placed the infant human into her arms. A shock went through Raven's body. Ten totally new experiences surged through her body at once. Her skin was touched for the first time, she felt a warm living body for the first time, she looked into the eyes of a trusting loving baby for the first time, she saw a baby up close for the first time. Janet wiggled brushing her cheeks and lips against Raven's nipple. Raven gasped.

Tully moved away and left Raven to be female, feel needed, feel the need to protect, see love and relish the lovely touch of another. About five minutes passed, Raven was learning to play with Janet, to care about her and to sense how helpless she was. He watched tears of joy and wonder trickle down the would be angel's cheeks, just like they trickled down his Betty's cheeks so many years ago.

Raven would have been content to sit and hold Janet all day but the little girl began to fidget. "She is hungry. Humans have to eat to live. Feed her this formula; hold the bottle, like this." Tiny Janet worked the nipple on the bottle and was so very contented. Tully took the baby from Raven's reluctant arms, "She may burp and wet soon. Better let me take care of that until you learn more."

Janet let loose a stream before he had the diaper in place. Raven's eyes were wide and she now had some questions that would start her understanding of what it means to be human. While Janet slept, Tully talked about what humans needed to live, body functions, touch and feelings. Toward evening, the little one was waking and a cool breeze was blowing up the hillside. Raven shivered. Tully understood. She had tasted knowledge; she had felt warmth now she could experience the opposite.

"Raven wait for me here while I take Janet to her home and her mother." Her look said she did not understand. "I'll explain when I get back."

Raven was curled up on the grown, covered by her wings and cold when Tully returned. He had brought a soft warm blanket and wrapped it around her neck, arms and breasts when she stood. She snuggled in like she had done it all her life. She fit through the double doors on the patio just fine and immediately enjoyed the warmth of inside. After she explored what humans called home, they talked well into the night. They finally could discuss something – the opposites of hot and cold and how all of life was like that for humans. About food and hunger, light and dark, wanting something and being sad. She showed she understood when she said she missed holding Janet and would like to have her in the cabin now.

The next few days were a whirlwind of what is work, what is play, what is fun, what is sadness, what is loss, what is growing old, what is pain, what is love? Most of this was theory. Tully wrote many notes, hoping for revelations on how to let her experience feelings. Each evening she had more questions and wanted to talk all through the night. "The question" popped up after four nights in the house. Tully had been through this with four kids. "Where do babies like little Janet come from?"

"Raven you have touched on both a simple question and the most complicated part of being human." For two hours they talked about mechanics of sex, pregnancy and birth. Pain was still a mystery to her. "The complicated part is lust versus love." Desire was becoming easy to explain. Intensity eluded her completely. Love, attraction and pleasure were total "no goes."

"Raven I would like to touch your body with my hands and lips, so you might understand the pleasure of adult touch and maybe even lust and attraction." She nodded in a totally abstract, detached scientific manner.

Tully dimmed the lights, warmed his hands, checked his breath and was as nervous as a sixteen-year-old virgin. He had never touched a woman other than Betty and definitely never a heavenly being. Raven sat on a stool in front of him. "Close your eyes, please."

She had learned to like courtesy words and being asked, instead of being told. Just as her lids closed, she felt his lips lightly kiss each eye and his fingers dance lightly across her neck. Every touch was new, challenging and she needed more time to decide if the touch was good but before she could, he moved on. His lips replaced his fingers on her neck; his lips kissed and his tongue licked. Her ear lobe was sucked and she felt his warm soft breath caress her ear. Strangely other parts of her body responded. She was confused but he did not wait for her to become comfortable with all these new sensations.

Tully now dropped down on his knees between her legs in front of her. His hands rubbed across her breast and his fingers rolled her nipples. Raven started to complain, the feeling was too intense but his lips closed over hers. His tongue licked at where they met as if wanting them to part. When her mouth opened he kissed her softly, she could feel her breath being drawn into his lungs and feel his, fill hers. Her breathing was becoming more difficult but it was not unpleasant. She heard one work, "Suck" and his tongue slipped between her lips. She complied. This was good but she still wanted more. He pulled his lips slightly away, "Now give me your tongue." This was even better.

Tully's hands were not idle. When they had taught Raven to want them on her breasts, the right one moved on to rub her tight flat stomach and to the side of her bellybutton where her ovaries should be. After long minutes his curiosity won over, he had to know if she were wet and aroused. He let his finger slip along the length of her bald pussy. She was wet and the moan into his mouth, said she was aroused. A few more soft strokes and he pressed toward to top of her slit, finding her clit easily. He rubbed her the way Betty liked to be touched. No regular pattern, mostly circles, no early direct contact. Tully looked at Raven. Her eyes were wide open but unfocused. Her mouth stayed open as he lowered his lips to her right nipple, licked and sucked lightly. Her legs opened wider. Tully missed one thing more than everything else. It was difficult to arch his neck with Raven on the low stool, but he managed to slip low enough and to pull her hips forward. He slipped his tongue into her for the first time. Yes, she was from heaven and he wanted to stay there, taste her and drink from her body. It must be a natural, unlearned thing; Raven's hands closed behind his head and guided his lips and tongue. Once she let up and he lowered his face, even more, and licked up across her asshole and then into her pussy. She gasped, her legs clamped his head and her hands pulled him tight again. In another few minutes she was his and he could not let her down. He licked her through her very first climax, held her hands so she could not push him away and lightly kissed and sucked her outer lips until she trust against him. Her second ride to orgasm was experienced and demanding. When she came, she crushed his face painfully into her mons, cried out several times and he had to catch her to keep her from falling hard off the stool. Tully laid her on the floor by the flickering fire, so she could catch her breath and he covered her with a blanket from the couch and kissed her sweetly, caringly while she basked in the afterglow. Like he had done for Betty many times. Raven was asleep. She had told him she had never slept.

Tully watched over her, marveled at her beauty and started to remember that God had created all that he had ever loved. In time he curled up on the floor beside his almost-angel, falling asleep holding and protecting her from the night.

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The next morning, Raven was full of questions and observations. "What happened to me last night?" "I feel exposed." "I want to feel that again." "Tell me more about babies." "Can I see your body?" Learning, feeling and sensing were at a locomotive's pace now. Tully raced around finding different textures, temperatures and things to show her. A mirror stopped the show for a while. Raven liked what she saw in the mirror and then decided that she should not feel like that. They talked about vanity, pride and guilt and how humans often enjoy, even relish and enhance beauty, feel pride and sometimes guilt because of what they truly feel. "But those are against God's wishes."