Goblin Wives -- A Strange Christmas Eve
© JAKwriter aka writerJAK -- December 2023
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It was Christmas Eve, and a massive winter storm was hitting the area. Power had been knocked out for the past couple of hours. That meant no lights and no heat, so I was sitting by the fireplace, bundled up, and trying to stay warm. I had plenty of firewood and had brought a couple of days' worth into the house just before the storm hit.
Cell service was also down, so I had my phone on Battery Save. The last news on the radio indicated that power was down over a multi-state region and that some areas may not have power for a couple of days, maybe as long as a week to ten days. Given past storms, my area likely would have power within 24 hours of the storm ending.
So, with nothing else to do, I stared at the fire and reminisced about how screwed up the past year has been. Just after New Years, I found my wife fucking some dooshbag. She met the asshole a few days before at the New Year's Eve party. Guess she decided getting a bit of strange was a good New Year's resolution. Too bad I found them fucking in OUR bed.
That started all the fun. I filed for divorce. We battled over the kids. I lost. Turns out Mr. Dooshbag had got her in a family way, so I got out of a lot of financial pain in their rush to get the divorce finalized. Only bad part was she got the kids and I get the standard "every other weekend, alternating holidays, and six weeks in the summer." That agreement didn't last a month. Every other weekend became maybe a day a month because the kids were "busy." Alternating holidays went down the drain when she, Asshole, and the kids went to HIS parents' house, out of state, for Thanksgiving. That meant I was supposed to get Christmas/New Years.
Given that I'm all alone staring at the fire with no kids cuddling with dear old Dad, I assume you figured out they are off with their Mom and new Dad. They're skiing in the Rockies for two weeks. I was going to take them to Hawaii for three. Can't figure out why they want to leave the snow and cold here to go to someone else's snow and cold, as opposed to balmy 80 degree tropical weather, sun, beaches, and surf.
So, now I'm back to staring at the fireplace. In my stocking is an envelope with the trip itinerary. Now a trip for one vs. a trip for four. The rental house and other fixed costs didn't change, and I was able to redeposit my frequent flyer miles for their tickets. No presents under the tree since I dropped them off a week ago. Looks sad, but it is what it is.
Looking at my cell, it was close to midnight. I started nodding off when, suddenly, loud noises were coming from outside the house. I thought about getting my Glock, but I don't have a gun. And thank God I don't, since I would have shot the bitch and mother fucker last January and I'd be in jail making friends with Bubba right now.
Damn! More bangs, clangs, bumps, and crashes. What the hell is going on? I thought about getting my Louisville Slugger, but, damn, my son took it with him when the ex took the kids away. I was fortunate that he was with his friends after their baseball game and still had the bat when I found the cunt fucking away our marriage. Again, if it had been in the house, Bubba and I would be working on our cell mate relationship.
BAM!!! BAM!!! CLIPPTY CLOP!! BAM!!! BAM!!! BAAAAANG!!!
Shit! What the fuck was that? Sounded like a fucking airplane just crashed into the roof. Then more noises coming from the damned fireplace, LOTS of noises!
I grabbed the fire poker and stood back from the fireplace, waiting to see what would happen. The fire was still burning, so I couldn't figure out how something could make it down the chimney without getting roasted or suffocating.
With a final crash, a hunched over figure appeared on the hearth. It was dressed in a red outfit, an interesting red outfit. What was IN the outfit was also interesting. The figure was soot smudged and was working hard to clean itself. Then stood up.
I must be dreaming. A smoking HOT looking green elf with a VERY sexy Christmas outfit was looking at me. She was about my height but was wearing a pair of sexy red heels giving her an extra five inches. So that put her around 5' 5" to 5' 6". Her outfit was a Santa hat over long red hair, a fur lined red halter top that showed off both her assets and her cleavage. A bare midriff showing lots of green skin. Below that, fur lined bikini briefs and a pair of long, sexy legs.
Yep, I was dreaming. Nothing THAT hot comes down MY chimney on Christmas Eve.
"Hi!" said the elf. "Are you...."
"Jak! I'm just Jak!"
Looking at the stocking, she noticed the envelope in it.
"Uh...Jak...did someone already come here? You have something already in your stocking."
"I put it there. It's my vacation itinerary. A gift to myself. By the way, who are you? Why are you here? And where is Santa?"
The Elf looked nervous, shuffling her feet before replying. "Uh...Santa's dead."
"SANTA'S DEAD!?! What's going on?
The elf seemed to think for a few moments, then responded. "Santa got shot by an upset husband. Uh...he was fucking the guy's wife in front of the Christmas Tree. It had to do with her being naughty this year and getting plowed by Santa was her gift since we don't give out coal anymore...and Santa ranked her at an 11 out of 10 on the MILF scale. Anyhow, with Santa dead, all of us in the Workshop got drafted to finish delivering presents. All the elves, dwarves, gnomes, goblins, halflings, kobolds, and other workers got sent out. Santa can cover the world in a night. Fortunately, he completed delivery to about 75% of the world before corking off. It's taking a few thousand of us to finish things up. Oh...and my name is Vyntaria, and you're my last stop."