CHAPTER FIVE
My First Time
Something had changed between us. It was subtle enough to go unnoticed by others, I thought, but undeniable just the same. I was beginning to feel comfortable around Dolphus in a way I never dreamed possible.
His hands were forever roaming freely over my bare flesh. It started with him insisting on bathing me at the hot spring. Then as he helped me along the treacherous trail, I noticed that his palm brushed against my swaying breasts many times. I thought it was by accident until I caught glimpse of the grin tugging at his lips. In his dwelling, he was even more obvious about it.
On some level, it felt wrong. No Sibian coupling was like this. And no male satyrs were fondling satyresses two weeks before mating season. But it was hard to pay attention to that reasoning.
When Dolphus' palms cupped my breasts, his fingers pinching and squeezing my nipples until they protruded, a stirring would begin inside me that made me forget all reason. All I could think about was how much I wanted more, needed more. Whether he could smell it or sense it on me, he always knew, too, and didn't pass up the opportunity to give me what I wanted.
Too many times per day to count, he would take me to that blissful place until I was shuddering in his arms, too weak to move. He appeared to be just as addicted to it as I was, even though he rarely experienced his own release.
I asked him about it, of course. I had no secrets and held nothing back from him. He explained that it took a great deal of energy out of him each time he released and he worried about what that meant. He was concerned that when it was time to mate, his seed would not be viable. So little was known about how these things worked. So few satyrs had ever ejaculated outside of breeding season so no one knew the potential consequence of it.
I questioned my own wantonness, but Dolphus wouldn't allow me to consider it anything but perfectly normal for a Baltian woman. According to what they knew of the Baltian race, they were very sexual by nature. I knew so little of my background and longed to ask my father questions that would fill in the blank spaces for me.
I thought about him a lot, my father. I wondered if he was still living free, having learned his lesson after losing his only daughter to Grachhus, or if he was a slave himself somewhere. Was he in the dark mines? Being chased through the forest and sodomized by ogres when caught? I shuddered at the thought of my beautiful, tall, dark-haired father being thrown to the ground and raped. He hadn't been the best caregiver, but he didn't deserve to be treated like an animal. In many ways, he'd done the best he could, considering he'd had to raise me on his own.
"What are you thinking about, little one?"
I blinked a couple of times to bring me back to the present. "My father."
"Do you miss him?"
"I ... Not really. I miss not knowing about my family history. I don't even know very much about how my parents met, or what my mother was like."
"Do you remember your mother at all?"
I shook my head. "She died giving birth to me."
Dolphus' body tensed. He stopped breathing altogether for a couple of seconds. I turned my attention toward him.
"What's the matter?"
Dolphus shook his head. "I'm sorry for your loss."
He'd been aware of her death, just not the circumstance behind it so I was surprised by his sudden concern. "It's okay. I've had my entire life to get over it. I just wish I could talk to her now. I have so many questions."
"I must go to Aeron and discuss business."
I turned to face Dolphus. He'd not mentioned leaving the den that day and I couldn't help but think that the decision to go was very sudden. Studying his face, I noticed that Dolphus' expression had turned utterly grim.
"I've been spending much time away from flock business."
"What is there to attend to? What sort of satyr business could there possibly be? It's not like you have stores, or written laws, or elections, or schools, or corrupt men who get rich off of other people's gambling weaknesses. You eat, you mate, you raise offspring. How complicated is that?"
"Quiet, Ashira. You are approaching the brink of insult. Clearly I've been spoiling you far too much."
I gasped at how much that statement stung. Apparently, I'd only imagined that he was enjoying our time together as much as I had been. For several silent moments, I simply stared at him with mouth agape and eyes wide in shock. A look of regret washed over his face but he made no effort to retract the statement. Instead, he simply left the domicile.
"What just happened?"
I spoke the words out loud to no one. Loomis was spending the day looking after his chosen partner, Haibu after a nasty misstep. I'd actually thought that Dolphus would take advantage of our being alone. We hadn't yet engaged in copulation, although Dolphus had promised we'd do so before breeding season, just two weeks away, and I was more than ready.
Heavy disappointment weighed on my shoulders. I allowed my knees to buckle from the weight of it until I was sitting on the floor. Had I offended him? I replayed my words and the voice in which they were spoken. My tone had been a condescending, I had to admit. I didn't mean it. Satyrs were simple, but intelligent. Much smarter than the average Sibian. And Dolphus...Dolphus was the most intelligent of them all.
Tears stung the corners of my eyes. Glancing around the empty domicile, I suddenly felt very lonely. I'd said those things to keep him from leaving. I was being selfish. He was right; I was spoiled. I'd come to rely on his presence, his feather kisses along my neck and shoulders, his soft caresses down my sides and along my hips. His constant warmth and affection. If he didn't want me to crave those things, then why did he make them so pleasurable? Why did he find it necessary to push me over the edge so many times a day if he got nothing out of it?
My own answers were ones I didn't want to hear.
So that I would readily submit to being bred when the time came. To fulfill my purpose and become impregnated with his offspring.
It was so easy to forget why I was there in the first place. It wasn't because I'd chosen to be there. I was Dolphus' slave. He'd been very clear about my role and expectations.
I spent the remainder of the day pacing the den and the area just outside of it. Thunderstorms were brewing around our mountain range so I dared not stray any farther. When droplets of rain began to fall, I withdrew and climbed into bed, allowing boredom to lull me into a fitful sleep.
A loud clap of thunder awoke me. I must not have been asleep for very long because night had not fallen yet, though the sky was very dark. Glancing around the domicile, I realized that Dolphus had not yet returned.
My heart ached for him. It was the longest we'd been apart in over 5 days.
Rolling onto my stomach, I buried my nose in the downy bedding where he slept. His rich, woodsy scent filled my nostrils and made me long for him even more. How had I become so attached to this mercurial satyr? Before I could think up an answer, my body responded. A dull, aching throb took root deep within my core.
Mental images of his fingers parting my heated flesh and exploring me there sent lighting bolds straight to my center. The throbbing increased until it was unbearable.
I rolled onto my back and reached down between my thighs. My flesh was swollen and hot and wet. So much so that it was soaking my thighs and trickling onto the bedding. The first touch of my fingertips along my blooming slit made me lift my hips off the bed. It was so naughty, and yet felt so good at the same time. We'd been taught as children in school never to indulge ourselves in this way. It was strictly forbidden and the punishment for disobeying was more severe than for stealing.
But Sibiu was so far away. And Dolphus...Oh, dear Osmos...
Just the thought of Dolphus sent my hips to rocking wildly against my hand. I kicked the coverlet off me and splayed my thighs so that I could shove two fingers inside. It wasn't enough. With my free hand, I tugged and twisted my nipples like Dolphus so often did. Adding a third finger, I furiously pumped my palm against my now greedy opening. Three fingers still didn't approximate the thickness and length of Dolphus' digits. I needed more ... I needed him ... Inside me. Not just his fingers.
I was too lost in frustration to notice Dolphus' arrival. It wasn't until I withdrew my fingers in defeat, having not reached the heights that I sought, that I saw him standing at the foot of the bed.
I froze.
With the exception of my panting, I remained perfectly still for several long moments. Guilty thoughts littered my feeble mind. To have been caught so fully in the throes of self-indulgence like that was humiliating. I turned my face away from him and began to roll onto my side in shame.
