Chapter 7
Being alone on the holidays is still hard to get used to. I have no living family and no close friends. Usually, my goal is to work as many shifts as possible so that I am too exhausted to think about missing my loved ones and realizing how very alone I am in this world. This year was no different.
The hospital was all decorated complete with a tree in the lobby. Someone had created a stocking for each one of us. They were green or red and had our names written on them in silver glitter. They were strung across a wall just above a fake mantel and fireplace. It was really quite cute and more than any of the other places I have worked at ever did.
Christmas Eve and the following day were both quiet. I made rounds and spent time with a few of the friendlier patients. When the silence and boredom finally got to me, I decided to call some friends and wish them a happy holiday. I know it was lame but it was better than sitting at the desk in the center of an empty ER.
Flipping through my contact list, the first person I consider calling is Angie. Since moving here I lost track of time and had not followed up with her to thank her for this opportunity. Plus, hearing her voice always cheered me up and believe me, I needed it.
"Hey girl!" Angie yelled into the phone after just one ring.
"Hey yourself. Merry Christmas!" I said using the happiest tone I could muster.
"What's wrong?" she asked. "Do you not like the job?"
"No. No. The job is great. I really wanted to thank you for thinking of me and getting this all set up. I just get lonely around the holidays. That's all. How are things with you?"
"Oh busy. You know the drill. My contact did tell me that you have made quite an impression there. They are very pleased with your work and dedication. I knew you'd be perfect for the job." Angie gushed.
"Thanks again. Yeah, it's been real interesting. It takes some time to get used to seeing so many muscular men and tough as nails women. Most of them want me to stitch them up without any anesthetic. It's crazy. They don't even flinch."
Angie laughed as I rambled on like a kid on the first day of school. I told her about some of the trauma I had seen and some of the psych cases that had been presented. The whole discussion was all about the hospital. I never once mentioned the Colonel or anything outside of work. When I figured I had probably bored Angie to death, I ended the call with the promise that we would talk again soon.
After our call I sit and try to clear my mind. The only thing I can think about it the feel of the Colonel's lips against mine or the sound of his deep sexy voice. I grin to myself that I even miss him man-handling...but just a little.
I still don't know what to do about him. How can I date someone who is possibly in need of a psychiatric evaluation. Part of me wants to flee and part of me really wants him to prove me wrong.
Before I can talk myself out of it, I dial his number and press the call button on my phone. My heart beat picks up immediately and my hands are starting to sweat. You would think I was a teen calling a boy for the first time.
"Sam?" He sounds both surprised and hopeful
"Hi. Merry Christmas." I try to sound calm and collected and even casual but of course my voice gives away my nervousness by cracking slightly.
"Merry Christmas Love." His voice sounds so silky and steady.
I wait for him to say more, but there is only silence. Well this is awkward I think.
"Um, well I don't want to bother whatever you're doing, just wanted to um wish you a Merry Christmas. So um Merry Christmas." Damn my nerves making me sound like a bumbling idiot.
"You already said that Sam." He chuckles on the other end of the phone and I can picture his face and sparkling eyes.
"I miss you." I rush out quietly hoping that he might not have heard me. That was not supposed to be said out loud.
"You do?" He asks. His voice is neutral not giving away any emotion. I have no idea if I have blown my window of opportunity.
"Look Sam, I told you I would be here when you are ready. I don't want to push you, but honey when you tell me you miss me, I want to rush over there and kiss your sweet lips."
I gasp surprised by his honesty. My mind is racing with conflicting thoughts about how to proceed.
"Sam, why don't we try dating and see how it goes?" He offers slowly after several minutes of awkward silence.
"Ok." I whisper still unsure if I can do this. "I have to go. I guess I will talk to you later. Bye Taylor."
"Bye Sam. And thanks for calling." He replies quietly.
The next few days I see him a few times at the hospital in passing. He always seems to be around but not exactly near me where it would be polite to talk or even say hi. We have a few casual conversations on the phone and each call feels less and less awkward.
I spend New Years alone and surprisingly not working. I even tried to trade shifts with someone so I could work, but no one took me up on my offer. Wearing comfortable silk pajamas, I veg in front of the tv surrounded by my favorite junk food. I watch one movie after another and eat myself into a sugar coma.
My phone rings the day after New Years, Monday afternoon, while I was enjoying the silence of a break during my shift at the hospital. The caller id tells me it is the Colonel. He invites me out for a date for Thursday. He must be reading some dating book that tells him that three days notice is the minimum required lead time. Instead of giving him a hard time, I reward his attempt at dating manners and accept.
An hour before the Colonel is due to arrive I'm still throwing clothes all over my room trying to find the perfect outfit. I am nervous and anxious which are not common emotions for me. The word "date" is not in my vocabulary. I have sworn off dating partially for this reason. It drives me crazy. I get too nervous and then I can't enjoy myself.
The Colonel had told me that the attire is casual dining. What does that mean?! I am trying to find something attractive and maybe even a little flirty even though I have not decided how I feel about this whole wolf situation.
Then there is the transportation. If he is picking me up, there is a 99.9% chance I will end up on the back of his motorcycle again. That is all I have ever seen him drive other than my Jeep. And there's a thought, he could drive my Jeep. So that again changes my idea of what I want to wear. My final decision is to wear a pleaded black skirt that is shorter than I would like with a black sweater and a silver fashion scarf. I finish off the look with black velvet flats and my hair in a simple up-do.
My door bell rings exactly on-time as I expected. I open the door and am speechless. The Colonel is wearing a black suit and a silver tie. How did he know what I was wearing?