***This was a chapter which gave me a lot of trouble, since it takes one of my fave characters in this to where she needs to be while at the same time leads her away from something that she really wanted. It took a few tries to get this as I wanted it. I`ve stopped it at a point for length, but if you`re big on Selena, just hang in there. Her journey isn`t done after this - and she`s still the same girl, just really embarrassed after this part. 0_o
--------------
Book of the Merren Part 15
Shaevre lay low in the bath with her long legs hanging over the sides of the tub as she talked quietly with Selena and allowed herself to be sponged gently, since regular washing was out of the question until most of the bits of shrapnel had been found. "One of the first things that I will do is seek something which I can use as a bathtub for me. I know that I am too large for the humans to have thought about when they made their bathtubs, but I ache for something better."
Selena nodded, "How was Arrax? I wish that I could have been there too. I'm not afraid of a fight if it has to be, but I think that I'd have been pretty useless out there. I would have liked to get another look at him, though."
"Well I looked at him on your behalf," Shaevre grinned, "and I can say that he still looks as fine to me as ever. Better even."
She sighed, "There are moments when I look at that male and I almost ache to be the one to give him whelps."
Selena laughed softly, "I'm not even the right kind for him, but I know what you mean. I've had the same wish before in a passing moment. He's huge and so strong, but he's always so gentle and friendly. I've seen him with my sister and I've had the same thought then. He`d make the best kind of father. From what I've learned, Xer have such a strong family structure. I'm not a Xer, but somehow I'd love to be able to hold the place in his heart as the one who bears his children."
"Would you?" Shaevre asked as she sat up for a moment, "Do you mean that truly, or is it only a little wish?"
"Well you know that it's not possible," Selena chuckled, "but I guess it's been a little daydream that I've had with some sort of longing to it. I do know that I'd love to be his -- as long as I still have you in my life. Why are you asking this? I wouldn't admit this if it wasn't just us here."
Shaevre took Selena's hand in her wet one and leaned forward, "You know of what was said between us all outside before Arrax left to go back. I heard it as it was said, and I had a thought, so I approached him. If he is successful, he will need to hide as well for at least a time."
Selena nodded, understanding it up to that point, "Go on."
Shaevre leaned back to enjoy the soothing heat of the water before it cooled. "I mentioned that if he could do this, then he would need a place to stay in this mountain fortress. I reminded him that he had no female for him on this world. I suggested that he might wish to stay with us -- you and I, and he told me that it was a thought that would warm him before he returned."
"What -- what does that mean? Selena asked, "I think there's a Xer turn of phrase in there."
"There is," Shaevre smiled, "If it happens and he accepts, then my half-demon girlfriend will have to make a choice. I will not leave you, but I wish to mate with Arrax and he has as much as accepted since he said the correct phrase and then he took my hands in his and he kissed them. It ought to tell you something of how he regards you and I. He is too refined and polite to accept in the way that a common Xer male would.
If you would give life to our daydream where we share him, then you and I will need to try to think a little differently because it is very possible. It will be different for me as well, but I have decided how it must go with a male such as Arrax for us.
"What?" Selena laughed in her astonishment, "OK, you'll have to explain all of the mysterious Xer things in this for me. You're telling me that you've what? Offered yourself to him? I know you already, Shaevre. How do I fit into all of this?"
Shaevre shrugged, "It cannot be that hard for you, Selena. I know you to be a very shrewd girl. But I understand how the 'Xer things' can confuse you. I only laid out the facts that he and I are the only Xer here. We say other words to each other, but I was certain that we liked each other long ago, and I have a strong feeling that he likes you. In fact, I know that he does.
I used all of the careful Xer speech, but in so many words, I told him that he and I should mate, and he agreed in a careful way, because we are Xer after all. But then I told him that you and I are as a pair. He knows this already. I only said that such a pairing would need to last long for the whelps and that even though you cannot give them to him, it changes nothing in my eyes. He would have to accept you as well as me."
This was growing more strange to Selena by the moment, but she knew that she could never wend her way through the canyons of Xer conversation for something like this. "Now I wish I'd been there even more," she said with a grin, "I'd have loved to see his face at that point. Did he stare? What was his reaction?"
Shaevre tried to remember exactly, and after a moment, she looked at Selena and said, "As I recall it, he blinked once and he agreed to this level of the courtship."
Selena's jaw dropped open, "He agreed?"
"You must remember something," Shaevre said, "We have both admitted to each other that we would want him. There are no Xer other than he and I. We would likely mate under these circumstances if we hated each other at first. I only saw our chance. Between two Xer all alone here, we would find ways to love each other. He likes us both. Why not pair this way? The only thing here is that it is for long with us. Our naughty little daydream can be ours to have, but he gets two females, and we get one wonderful male.
You must do as I do and take my lead. He is worth the trouble of it and more. We will make him an evening of food and company at some point, and then you and I will kneel before him and offer ourselves for our lives if he will do the same. The kneeling is only because we both wish for him. Without this, it would be he who would kneel. If he accepts, then he will have two females for a very long time."
She smiled, "Xer courtship is sometimes direct and sometimes hidden. For something such as this, it must be more talk before anything else, so that all in it know clearly. I decided and said words to him. He accepted in a preliminary fashion. We made our compliments to each other over our bodies, and he told me to tell you that in the framework of this discussion, that he is honored to be considered by such a fine bitch as you. Those are the Xer words that are to be said in such a case by the male."
"You -- you've negotiated for me?" Selena gaped. She didn't know what to think, she --
"Why not? I saw the chance for us after our talk of wanting to share him." Shaevre said, "I am only speaking plainly. You and I are friends and though it surprised us both, we are lovers and have the chance for this, Selena. Tell me that you do not want Arrax for your own. After the dark day that I have had, I need a good laugh.
All that you need to consider is whether you want to take him as your mate and if you think that you could share him with me. You and I would have a strong and powerful male for us both. He knows the way that we are between us. I know that he longs for a good female, and he knows that he has the chance at two. It must be done in this way because we normally only take one. The words are to prepare us all for this sort of multiple pairing, him as well as us.
He does not want anything less than our love for a long time. He has passed the point where a Xer male's nose turns into the wind to sniff for a bitch. He knows us and we are what he desires. He is not a stupid male and he had a heart in him, a big one. He has to prepare himself by considering this. That is where it lies at this point. Oh!"
Shaevre sat up and took both of Selena's hands in hers, "I am to do this for you from him. He told me very carefully to make sure that I show you this as his response, just as he showed it to me." She lowered her head and Shaevre kissed Selena's hands very gently for a long moment, licking them carefully as well.
When she looked up, she smiled, "I know that this means little to you, but if you were a Xer bitch, this is a gesture that you would smile softly at and hold the memory of close to you forever. It means that he has love for you in his heart.
He also gave me words to say to you. I do not know what they mean, but he said that you would know. He said that you have already chosen wisely for the time ahead and that if this begins between us all, then your choices would never fail you. I think that he meant that he and I are your choices for something."
Selena nodded and was silent for a moment. She tried to see herself with the men that she'd had in her life, and even any that she might wish to have. Dahlgren had chosen Faith. It had been terrible for them all, since they'd all liked her so much after so short a time. Faith had been just that sort of girl. Now they were all very saddened as Dahlgren mourned his loss, though with the help that she planned to give them, Nahl'een now had her family. Selena knew what she had in her heart, but this was a new wrinkle that she hadn't seen coming.
With a little thought, Selena decided that as much as she liked Dahlgren, there was likely no way that she could get closer than her role as the sister of his adopted daughter, especially since it was rather well-known that she was with Shaevre. The two of them didn't think that it was a barrier, but Selena thought that from a male's point of view it could very well be one. There wouldn't be a barrier at all from Arrax' view and thinking practically -- which meant setting the downright sexiness of the thought aside with difficulty, she'd have one beast of a male who had already shown that he could handle having a female of another species and quite obviously liked her as much as she liked him.
Then she thought of Arrax and Shaevre. They weren't like her on the outside, but there was something like kinship between her and Shaevre that was more than two females who made love together. Whenever Shaevre said that she wanted to spend her life with Selena, she felt such a good feeling in her.
Then she thought of Arrax. The thought of being one of his females brought a want out in her only to hold in her mind. The thought of him with her legs around him, ...
It was the strangest thing. She'd had a few men in her day and she liked a good tussle in a bed. But that was nothing to her like the way that it felt to her when she wrapped herself around Shaevre and held on tightly. It had to be like that with Arrax as well, but with all of the pure maleness added to it. It was hard for her to do, but she slowly pushed that from her mind and tried to see Arrax in her life, day after day, night after night, eating with him, traveling together, hunting and anything else that came to mind.
She thought about how it would be to be seen with her two mates as they walked into an inn for a tankard of ale. It was another hypothetical situation in Selena's mind. If this happened, she'd likely never go into a place like that again. If she did, they'd be stared at and she'd see the thoughts of the males as well as the females plainly on their faces. She asked herself if she thought that she could handle something like that and she had her answer in a heartbeat.
Let them all stare. She'd feel nothing other than pride to go anywhere with the two Xer. Then she had the crazy thought where she saw herself there with Dahlgren as well. She had no idea where it had come from -- she only saw them all walking into a place like that and everyone knowing that she belonged to them all.
She pushed the thought away quickly, deciding to consider it later in a private moment. There was something there which intrigued and enticed her, and it was the strangest thing because she wasn't the sort of girl who could manage to have even one person interested in her at the best of times. Something always went wrong, and to her mind, it was usually her who ruined it anyway.
When she slept in Shaevre's arms, she felt so safe and warm. She loved it when their limbs were intertwined and they slept with Selena's face against Shaevre's powerful chest. She smiled to herself. Something as strong as that would likely seek the same comfort against the massive chest of Arrax. She could see them together asleep.
Selena sighed and Shaevre heard it as she watched her lover consider. The Xer wanted to hold her rogue tightly for the sweet little smile that she saw as Selena looked up into her eyes. "I'll really never be cold again," she said.
"I want it. Just as you said, if you were all alone here, you'd find ways to love each other. I can do the same."
