***I sometimes 'complete' characters visually. That is, I have an idea but nothing visual at the outset. I might be looking at something and they come to me. It didn't work that way with Dahlgren.
For Dahlgren, I happened to be looking at the cover of a PC game and there was a guy in the background. He's not Dahlgren, but if you saw the picture, you'd get it as far as the clothing and his physique went.
When I invented the character who would become Faith, I was looking at a drawing with nothing relating to my story. There was a thin thing in the back of a bunch more and he was male, but I already had the backstory in my head. I just knew that it was the bodystyle that I wanted. As far as her mannerisms, it came from her growing up poorer than dirt, but trying awfully hard to get by. Her speech pattern had nothing to do with that, coming mostly from where she grew up. I wanted a character who could make me smile just by being herself. She has nothing, but she has her own charm and there's a dignity in that which works for her. It worked for me. 0_o
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Book of the Merren Part 8
She heard the morning songs of a few birds and she opened her eyes. Faith found herself still lying on her front and still on top of Dahlgren, but he had moved up a little somehow or, maybe she had moved back. She lifted her head to look at him and he groaned. She was very careful as she moved and hugged him very gently.
"That's alright," she grinned, "I've gotta pee too. I understand how it is." She kissed the center of his chest and pushed herself up and off him using her hands on the blanket.
"So tell me," she said after they'd both come back, "What would you be doing now, back where you live? I know I'd be heading over to the town again to look for some food, and then I'd likely just amble off. There's a little place that I like to hole up in sometimes and it's pretty cozy and out of the heat of the sunshine. What would you be doing now?"
He smiled at her, liking her for her mannerisms and the rather endearing way that she looked to him today, a little tousled and not really awake yet. They seemed to have become closer as they'd slept. He really couldn't explain it- even to himself, but there was a pleasant familiarity there that he found so appealing. "I'd just fly back to my home. I have a daughter, and she's very nearly six now. I think that I'd be trying to think of something to give her on her birthday."
She slipped her arm around his waist and began to lead him to the pool, "Tell me about her -- and also tell me about her mother."
"It's not like that," he said, "I never met her mother. She's an orphan and I've adopted her. Her name is Nahl'een and she's like us, a little of two kinds. She lived alone for the first few years of her life, and she's a little slow in learning to speak properly, but she's coming along pretty quickly. She loves to talk forever now, and I love to listen to her."
Faith looked at him a little pointedly, "You know, I don't know what it is with you, but I ask a question and you answer it -- some. Sometimes, you don't tell me what I want to hear at all, like last night when I almost had to jab you with a stick to get your name outta you.
Don't you know nuthin' about girls, Dahlgren? I asked and I got told a bit about your little girl. That's really nice to hear and all, especially the way that I can feel that you just love her to death. That's what a good daddy ought to be like. But I asked about her mother to see if you've got somebody for you. Now you said that her momma's dead or somethin' like that. What I want to know is if there's a female in your life."
He smirked as he looked down and he laughed after a moment, "You mean other than my mother?"
"Lookit here," Faith scowled at him, "You ain't one of them momma's boys, are you?"
It made him laugh more. "I never used to be," he grinned, "but ever since Nahl'een has been with me, my mother comes there fairly often, I'd say. I'd even say that she's there a little too often, by my old standards. But she doesn't come for me, really, and I'm not under her thumb or anything like that. She comes to help with Nahl'een.
It doesn't matter that there's no blood connection between them, my mother took Nahl'een as her granddaughter on first sight. Sometimes that's helpful to me, since we live alone, mostly. So she looks after my daughter if I have to be away - like I am now. If she can't come, then Nahl'een goes to the orphanage where I first brought her after I found her. She's always welcome there, and there are other children for her there to play with."
He looked at Faith a little fearfully. "I know. Sorry. You want to hear the answer to one question and now it seems that I'm dodging it. There's no one, Faith. There hasn't been anyone in a long time, since before I came back here to do what I do -- whatever that is when I'm not killing red demons. There was somebody that I might have gotten a little close to a little while ago, but it didn't happen."
"Well," Faith said brightening, "would you want somebody?"
His expression made her laugh at him. "I know, I know," she said sweeping her hand out toward the desert floor below them, "it was a real close thing in so many ways and so hard for me to choose. There's all these hopeful men out here, ... all of 'em lusting after my little ass the shameless way that they do,... all of 'em needin' the soft touch of a quiet little girl such as I am. Why it's lucky there haven't been fistfights and duels fought over me, just sayin'."
She looked down as they walked. "I know I ain't much to look at, Dahlgren, "she bent down for a moment to pick up a stone and throw it down the slope. "But I like you an awful lot, and I ain't exactly got me a full dance card around here at the best of times, like right now."
"Right, uh, ... now?" he asked.
"Yeah," she said, "Don'tcha see all them men out there just waitin' to grab me and make me their girl, bangin' me all night long? Why, there's whole herds of them, there's -- "
"I don't see anybody, Faith," he said softly, "but I know what you mean."
She nodded and was silent for a moment. She picked up another rock and threw it hard. Dahlgren watched as it sailed on almost out of sight.
"If you know what I mean," she said almost as a whisper and he had to listen hard to catch her words, "then you might see that I'm already yours - leastways if you'll have me. I ain't pretty, like I said, bu-"
"You're more than pretty," he said, "I think you're lovely. You ought to stop hitting yourself over the head."
She shushed him a little impatiently, "Dammit, Dahlgren, can't you see that I'm trying to tell you something?"
She moved to stand in front of him. "Listen," she said, her black eyes almost pleading with him all by themselves, "I know we only met yesterday, and, ... well, after last night, and how good it felt to have a man like you to lie on, well I'm, ...
I want to tell you that I think I love you, Dahlgren. I know that you likely don't love me, but give me a chance. Something like this doesn't ever happen to me. I've only ever been alone and - well I ain't never been in love before."
She looked down at his chest and laid her hand against it. She was a little surprised to see just how small it looked there, and how very good it felt to touch him again. She knew that he'd probably listen to her make a fool of herself like this and she knew that he was only being polite to be hearing her out the way that he was.
He'd fly away in a little while and she'd be alone again. She'd never minded it all that much, once she'd gotten used to it since there was no alternative.
But she knew that this time it would be very different. This was going to hurt a lot.
"I'm nuthin' like what you'd want, but if you'd take me with you, I'd let you fuck me all you want to, Dahlgren. I think that maybe I need that now. I'd try really hard to make you love me. I promise I won't even talk if you're with one of your better friends so's they don't see how rough I am. I won't shame you. Just take me with you. Please?"
She didn't dare to probe with her thoughts. She just knew that she'd lost, that was all. She leaned forward and placed her forehead against him, wanting to feel it one more time. She'd never meant for it to happen and she knew that she didn't really know any better, though she supposed that she should have known, the way that he'd made her feel. All that she knew was that she needed him. It was long past a want in her.
She squeezed her eyes shut but even so, a couple of tears came to her to betray the last depths of her heart's desperation. They left her cheeks to fall onto his feet, as lost as she was.
"Please, Dahlgren," her voice came out of her as a tiny thing, "I'm begging now."
He reached for her and held her tightly. She looked up in shock and gasped as his head was suddenly against her own. "Don't beg," he said into her ear, "You don't have to try really hard to make me love you. I'm a little lost here, I guess. I don't know how to do it yet, but you can come with me."
She pulled her head back and saw his smile. He watched her eyes glaze over happily in the way of demons, "You really mean that?"
"Yes," he said, "I can't promise anything yet, really. There will be at least some problems, and it has nothing to do with how 'rough' you might think that you are. It has to do with your blood. "
He kissed her hard enough to make her groan and press herself against him.
"What are we gonna have to do?" she asked in the second that she felt that she had for it.
