I arrived at Mancini's and took a seat at the bar. I ordered a Chardonnay and a glass of water, and paid the bartender. I sipped my water and nervously waited. When Mandy came in at about 4:15, she reached for the wine glass and said, "Come over here." She continued on to a booth, and I followed. I sat across from her, and as soon as we sat down, I blurted out, "Mandy. Please. You have me in a very awkward situation here. I'm begging you. Please return that envelope to me. Please. There are a lot of people at stake here. Yes, it's true, Katherine and I had an affair, but we're not doing it anymore... things kinda... things went south for us, and of course it was a stupid, stupid thing to do in the first place. But ... please ... just ... if this ever came out, first of all it would just devastate my wife. She is such a wonderful, caring person. She doesn't deserve the humiliation this would bring on her if this secret came out. Please, Mandy, there's no reason for you to get involved in all this. I'm begging you. Please just return that envelope to me, so I can destroy it, and we can all just move on with our lives..... "
I continued rambling for another minute or so, until I realized I was beginning to talk in circles. Mandy just sat smirking at me, and sipping her wine, until I was reduced to repeating "please... please, Mandy, please ... just ... please."
When I finally stopped, she said, "It's Miss Murphy to you."
"I'm sorry. OK. Miss Murphy. Please, Miss Murphy, I'm begging you. Please give me back that envelope."
"David, perhaps you didn't hear me this morning. I'm not giving you back the envelope. You need to learn to listen better. I've been listening to you, and you know what I'm hearing?"
"Wh- uhh... what?"
"I'm hearing you say, 'Yes, Miss Murphy, I will be the best little worker for you and do absolutely anything you say.'"
I slumped, and sniveled, and tried again: "Mandy--"
"Miss Murphy!"
"Miss Murphy, I'm sorry. Miss Murphy...."
"David, there's no need for more convincing. You already have the job, haha. I completely understand the fix you're in, and that's why I have every confidence that this little arrangement I've worked out will work out just beautifully for both of us."
"Um... arrangement?"
"Yes. Let me show you something."
At that point, she pulled a piece of paper out of her briefcase, on which she had drawn up a Monday-through-Friday schedule. It appeared to be very detailed, but at first I couldn't quite comprehend it all.
She explained: "Monday morning, you're going to meet me at work at 8:30. You're going to have those tests graded, and you're going to have a lesson ready for my 9:00 class, which is Math 190. At 9:00, I'm gonna introduce you to that class -- as my teaching assistant, Davey -- and you're gonna teach that class for me. Then you're gonna go to your 10:00 class. Then later you'll have your 1:30 class, and then that evening, you'll meet me again for my 6:30 class, I'll introduce you to those students, and you'll teach that class, too, until 8:35."
"Well, wait a minute," I said. "I don't teach evening classes, and my wife knows that. What am I supposed to tell her?"
"Tell her something happened with an instructor, and they asked you to take over that person's class for the rest of the semester."
"But ... if that really happened, they wouldn't ask me to fill in. They'd ask a part-time instructor."
"Tell her they were really in a pinch, and really needed you to step in. You're gonna have to tell her something, David, because from now on, every Monday and Wednesday night, I'm gonna need you free for this class. So you're gonna get free."
I shifted in my seat and hemmed and hawed a bit, until she said, "Got it?"
I sighed. "OK."
"Uh, the right answer is 'Yes, Miss Murphy, whatever you say.'"
I sighed again, to which she stared at me sternly. "Yes, Miss Murphy," I said. "Whatever you say."
"Good. Now, as for my Tuesday-Thursday class, from 10:45 to 12:25, it overlaps with your 10:00 to 11:40 class, so how we'll work that is, you will make up the lesson plans for that and drop them off in my mailbox before you go to your 10:00 class. Then, as soon as you're done with your class, you'll come to mine by 11:45. I'm going to schedule a break from 11:35 to 11:45, so when you get there, I'll let you know how far I got, and you'll do the last 40 minutes of the class for me.
"Same deal on Thursdays. Um, let's see. The 9:00 class meets Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday, so you'll be doing that one completely from now on. Um... the 10:40 class I'll have to do on Mondays and Wednesdays, but you'll do it on Fridays...... You'll be doing all my grading from now on, and coming up with all the lesson plans for all my classes."
My mouth dropped open. Was she serious? She was going to make me do pretty much ALL her work? Her entire job? How could I possibly manage all that?