This is part one of five.
"Well, Ms. Lord?"
I had her, and I had to fight to keep a sly smile of triumph off my lips. "Do you, or do you not accept my offer?"
Poor Penelope! Her eyes were big, brown saucers. The look of disbelief was almost complete, but I could see, surfacing pathetically, beneath her incredibly cute features, the realization that she had no options. I, indeed, had her.
It had actually begun six weeks earlier as a simple, mundane business transaction. This young woman had come into my office at Downtown Mortgage and Loans, looking for a loan. She was an innocent, rather naΓ―ve looking blonde, who wanted to borrow a half a mil, quick. Her boyfriend had said if they could move really quickly they could double their money in just a few weeks. She was willing to put up her car β a Mercedes 500 SL β and her West End condo as security. Now, I've got to admit, we, here at DM&L, are not necessarily the most scrupulous of financial institutions, so, despite my personal misgivings regarding amorphous get-rich-quick schemes, given the security she was offering, I agreed to loan her the money.
"Don't worry," she had said as she left my office with a bank draft, "we'll pay it all back, with interest."
"You bet you will," I whispered as she roared off in her sporty silver bullet.
Despite her good intentions, she had missed the first payment. I called her shortly after the due date to make an appointment for her to see me. She had come earlier that afternoon, and sat before me wringing her hands. Her frightened look was almost enough to melt my heart β certainly enough to fire my loins. She was beyond apologetic; she was distraught. "I'm so sorry, Mr. Jackson," she sobbed. "I just don't know what to do." A very small idea of just what she might do began germinating in my head. I asked her to tell me what had happened, and through an accompaniment of tears and nose blowing, she explained.
The boyfriend, it seemed, had put the money into some sort of scam that went bad. All Ms. Lord knew was that he had come home a week earlier looking terrified. He'd said that the money had been lost and when she had asked him how, he gave her some long convoluted song and dance about investment risks. The next day she couldn't get a hold of him, and a few days later, just as she really started to get worried about his disappearance, he'd called her to say he had to go away for a bit and he didn't know when he'd be back.
"'Don't worry,' he said, as if that were possible." Penelope gave an almost derisive snort, and wiped her nose once more. "Anyway, the bastard left me to look after the loan payment." Her eyes were beginning to crackle with affront. "And this, after he had already 'invested' all our β my savings!" She was starting to seethe, but that was not my problem.
"I'm very sorry about that, Ms. Lord," I said as sympathetically as I could, "but that doesn't change the fact that you still owe $26000 plus $6500 extra accrued interest on the missed payment. And that's not to mention the next installment of $26000." I paused to let the amounts sink in, before continuing. "Let's talk about how you're going to meet these obligations. I don't really want to foreclose β I don't want your condo and car, butβ¦" I left the threat hanging.
Her jaw dropped. "But β but β but I can't afford that."
Putting a rather pompous edge in my voice, I replied, "Ms. Lord, DM&L is not a charity. We lent you the money in good faith. If you lost it in some nefarious business dealing, that's not my concern."
"But, Mr. Jackson, I didn't lose it," she moaned.
I kept the edge in my voice. "Neither did I!" I didn't really enjoy being a smart-ass shit, but I was trying to make a point. "It's gone, nonetheless."
"Robbie did it," Penelope whispered, her voice quavering with despair, "and he's gone, too!"
"So, go after the bastard." She started to say something but all that happened was that her mouth dropped open. Oh, what a perfect sight. Her succulent lips, pouty and moist, looked almost irresistible. "You should have been more careful. He was obviously a very bad risk," I reprimanded. "In any case, if you're not prepared to make good the schedule, I'll proceed with foreclosure."
"Isn't there some way we could renegotiate this," she cried. "I can't lose the condo. I just can't. It was my inheritance. It's all I've got left."
"You got your looks and a body to kill for," I thought to myself, but I simply said, in a smarmy voice, "It would seem, my dear, that you can't even afford the interest. Just how were you planning to renegotiate."
"I don't know." She was shamelessly whining now. "There's got to be something I could do."
"Hmmm." I put my chin in my hand and thought. I had already figured out what the 'best' solution would be β for me, anyway. Now I was trying to decide if it was worth the risk β could I actually get away with it. "Just let me think, Ms. Lord. There may be a way out of this."
Her red eyes sparkled again. She leaned forward, her luscious breasts rising wondrously with a quick intake of anticipation. "How?" She looked so charmingly hopeful. "What is it?"
"Well," I began, standing up and walking thoughtfully from behind my desk. Maybe, I thought, maybe it might just work. I think she's eager enough β or desperate enough. With a little bit of creative book-keeping I might just pull it off. I heaved a deep sigh. I knew I couldn't pass up the chance. So I plunged right in. "Perhaps, Penelope β may I call you Penelope? Perhaps you can work off the debt."
She looked a bit puzzled at first, then disbelieving. "Oh, come on," she said. "Even if you paid me fifty bucks an hour full-time, I'd barely be able to cover the interest." Maybe she's not quite the ditz that I suspected.