That is it so, it enough explicitly sounded
." She removed the hand from his knee and propped the chin with wreathed hands. His words shocked her like a bolt from of the blue.
So that was a woman. Actually she should guess earlier considering that their intensive so far and passionate sex life started in the last weeks losing its impetus. She never took such a possibility into consideration dormant with tenderness and the mildness of the husband. After all such things are happening exclusively to different people. She wasn't prepared for accepting such a message, not today, not now, when she was fine hugged to the husband's side, never.
However now in her agitated head started flashing the thoughts distant from the ones which usually accompany betrayed wives when they learn about the betrayal of the husband. Not only the ones anyway. Suddenly, with force of accompanying pangs of conscience, in front of her eyes did stood a distinct image of what she did five months earlier, and what at all costs she wanted to forget about as soon as possible. Behind the curtain of tightened eyelids everything appeared to fire what so stubbornly she wanted to throw away from her past.
***
The company planned sending her for this training for ages and in the end it took place in the end of the June. She was even pleased with a possibility of getting away from the cares of daily life for four days. The place was encouraging. The modern training centre situated in depths of Masurian forests attracted with one's location the more so because heat began on this summer earlier and nothing announced their weakening. Indeed, only an air-conditioning installed on a lecture hall enabled to carry normal classes on. Even nights didn't give the respite being enough after days spent at lectures, pestering as even as for this season exceptionally with high temperatures.
The dinner organized on the eve of the departure didn't herald exceptionally itself. Martha planned even an early return to the hotel room wanting to get enough sleep neatly before the journey to the house on the next day. She had four hundred kilometers in the train with the break for the arduous change in the capital city. Celebrations were a standard party for trainings of this type, which costs were counted into the price constituting the additional attraction attracting customers. Considering the low average of participant's age organizers decided to spice up the bore normal on such suppers of the gluttony and the drunkenness with dance at the calm music and the softened light. The supper ran in the convivial atmosphere. Martha quickly relaxed plunged in the cheerful conversation with people only just got to know. Alcohol, music and an atmosphere of informality didn't give cause for glancing at watches. It was more and more cheerfully, more and more loosely, more and more the wine enjoyed a lot, less and less world of chatty people became distinct, and more and more pulled to itself the parquet on whom more and more affectionately it was possible to lean against the partner in the dance.
Karol, probably that was his name, paid her attention to himself from the beginning of the course. Apart from the fact that he was simply handsome, he had something in the manner what attracted her. As if alienated out of the rest of participants of the course he didn't participate in loud talks filling adjournments of lectures up with the not ending stream of jokes and rumors. He walked along corridors as if lost in the world of his own, from time to time stressing only one's membership in the group with friendly smile sent mainly to women. People of the similar manner have always pulled Martha. Jack was best example of it with his regular „emigrations" to one's personal universe, to whom even closest didn't have access. Sometimes his personal world just shaped their everyday life, but in spite of it they were fine with themselves. Karol in this respect reminded her husband very much. „So more of such copies walk on this world" she even thought up to the end of the first day of the course. The more so she was glad that he had sat down by her when as last person went up the room in which celebrations took place. It didn't disturb Martha at all that there had been this only vacancy which then still stayed and quickly she got in touch with him. She was pleased that she had managed to tear him out from the meditation and at least for one evening to restore him to this part of the universe, on which they travelled together. Even she overlooked the moment when she talked exclusively to him, when she danced only in his shoulders which with every instrumental attracted her more and more closely to the hot male body. It is hard to say which moment alcohol and music got their conversation by the table to undertone, and words swam in the dance more and more with sensory whisper annoying the finger tip of her ears with Karol's warm breath. More and more instead of dancing she swam into the rhythm of the music hugged to his breast, more and more she walked away far from the rest of the company and from world which only tomorrow was to remind her of its being. No, she didn't think about Jack and about children, not at the moment. Even when he pulled her firmly to himself with hand put low on her back and she felt on her belly his hard manhood, she didn't feel ashamed. Only warm pierced her body with the pleasant surprise. She overlooked the moment, when the safe edge walked away from the reach of her hand and she let tides of passion triggered with delusion of looks, words, and the drunken night pull herself up. However she understood it too late, only after a few hours. He crushed her to him still more firmly whispering to the ear: „And you can see what you did to me?" From this moment Martha said nothing up to the return to the hotel room. It was probably a longest period of silence in her lifetime. Almost involuntarily she plunged in - incomprehensible until now for her - the amok of devotion oneself to the different man so much, that up to today the reaction of her own soul remain a riddle for her.
She did not protest, when he led her out from hall full of the sounds of alcoholic conversations. „Let's go, we will have a change of fresh air." He said, and she obeyed him without the word. She did not protest, when he did not stop on the terrace of the building and led her for the hand in the direction of the nearby forest. She did not tell anything, he did not tell anything more too. They had been absorbed by thick, sweltering night whose darkness lit up only silver faint light of the moon among the trees of the forest.
They went through the forest in the silence, and Martha knew for what she goes. The world whirled around her in the almost narcotic drowse and she was already able to do nothing except for the adaptation one's step to the man leading her. It did not surprise her, when she heard after a dozen or so minutes of the silent walk: „This is here". She remembers today that one can qualify his behavior since this moment as the working of the robot. Mechanical actions devoid of emotions and passions stayed then in the contradiction with her condition of intoxication of the June night so very much. She was not able however not only to react on his soullessness, but to even express one word of the comment. When she heard as he unbuttons trousers and then as he speaks: „kneel down." She slumped on knees without the word of the protest. At once she met with the mouth his stiff manhood. She closed eyes and did her duty with devotion on what she could afford. It did not disconcert her neither did not arouse reluctance, when raising her from knees he said after several minutes as if he was more interested in the starry sky than her: „take off panties and tights only from one leg not to lose this somewhere here". Feeling the rotation of the world around and still the taste of his dick in the mouth she did what she was told. She left one slipper in her hand, she was not to use hands any more. „Lie down on the back, the grass is dry." His next words were equally dry and mechanical as previous. Martha did not even wonder what will happen in the moment to her blouse and skirt already pressed in the carpet of green vegetation, this world did not exist for her yet. Lying down she got to hear the sharp sound of the ripped packaging of the condom which was foreboding of inevitable. As only she felt on her back the chill of the June grass, she begun to react mechanically not waiting for his next command. With free hand she drew up the skirt above the navel and spread her legs simultaneously bending them in knees. First she felt the chill on already moist labia lips and soon after his burning-hot head of penis which was looking for entry to her body. Lack of passion and soullessness of his behavior became clear to her now. He drove himself in her with such impetuosity and without any preparation that she had groaned loudly. This was odd, that this moment could lightly hurt even after so many years of the marriage. Karol quickly passed to the proper rhythm to that, what did not even resemble the passionate intercourse and was only ordinary, strong and devoid of senses fucking. He had not kissed her for all the time, he had not even looked in her the face. Holding Martha's hips with both hands he was staring in the place where his stiff penis operated with male stubbornness…
***
Paralyzing now the confession of her husband was mixed with the feeling of the guilt. She did not admit to this hoping that she would never have to. She loved Jack and he loved her, but she was terrified of fear putting their love to such test. The temporary drunken stupor and the temperature of the June night did not make up in her conviction of any justification. Only what she could do, was to try to forget. It was not easy to look eyes of loved man, but betrayed by oneself. She felt lousy, for many intoxicating marital nights she could not throw out from her memory the painting of that forest glade and free oneself the feeling of the doing harm to the someone she loved. However what she heard completely from him now turned her life of value upside down. The betrayal of her husband which hurt so much was mixed with her own betrayal which hurt still more. Moreover, if he had admitted to his betrayal now, then he at least would behave a lot of more decently than she had. In which way would she be able to bear him the grudge with such dose of the feeling of the own fault? How has she to react? Not, she will not summon herself up to admission of that June night, but this weakness only increased disgust for alone herself.
"Martha…" Jack roused her from torpor. "I apologize, forgive me, if you feel repugnance to me … this has nothing to do with my love to you… as I love you very much, Martha…"
She closed her eyes. She wanted to have this behind herself as most quickly as possible. She needed the time to consider what had happened to both of them.
"Cough it out off yourself at last." Her voice was trembling but sounded calmly. "Say though, what is her name and what is she better than me in. " Last words surprised Martha on her own. It was difficult for her not to ask herself simultaneously the similar question only replacing the word „she" with that man's name.
"What?" The surprise sounded in his voice. "What are you talking about? Whose name?"
