Hall Pass -- 66 -- You tell me
By: Linda
Hello again, everyone,
I asked Luke this time, to permit me to write one more episode. He said that it would best fit into the timeline here. He will continue his narrative in the next chapter.
This story has to be told. It is an account of the experience that affected me emotionally the most of all our adventures. I think it might have the same effect on some of you.
Please forgive my use of strong language. I know that some of you will think of me as an unabashed slut, but this is what happened. I hope you will enjoy my story anyway.
Linda
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My mind has been in turmoil. I hoped to get some help today.
I walked with Luke to his truck and kissed him goodbye. It was the first Monday, after returning from our short vacation in the Rocky Mountains. It was a workday for Luke. I sipped my coffee and watched him until he passed through the front gate and drove out of sight.
I had found a few minutes of privacy the day before and I had called Kay Linden, on the phone. Kay is a psychiatrist. She is the mother of a close friend and she has befriended Luke and me. She is elderly and retired. She closed her practice several years ago, but she has taken an interest in the lifestyle that Luke and I follow. She has made a study of our relationship. We consider her family. She dates my Uncle Gus, off and on. We call her Aunt Kay.
I promised her breakfast if she would give me some of her time this morning. I let her know that I had a problem. She had said that she would be here at nine. I had about forty-five minutes. I made ham and eggs with all the trimmings for us and timed it to be fresh on the table upon her arrival. She arrived right on time. She always does.
I forced myself to smile and hug her when I helped her from her car. I wanted to burst into tears and spill my guts to her, but I managed to stifle those feelings. After breakfast, would be soon enough. Luke says that I always procrastinate.
I used the time, while we ate to calm and prepare myself. Kay's presence always has a soothing effect on me. Mentally she is so strong and so stable. She has helped me over other humps. I hoped she could help me now. We indulged in pleasant but meaningless chatter as we ate.
When we finished, she allowed her demeanor to become serious. She looked at me and asked, "What is the problem, Sweetheart?"
Tears welled up in my eyes and ran freely down my cheeks. I suppressed a sob and blurted, "I was raped, Kay." I lost control. Heaving sobs overwhelmed me.
Kay rose and came around the table to me. She pulled me from my seat and held me tightly in her arms. I needed that. We stood there in the dining room, and she held me while I cried. Time passed and I began to quiet down.
She whispered in my ear, "You are not alone Linda. I was raped when I was a girl." Then she gave me hope. She said, "My world didn't come to an end and yours won't either." I became very calm inside. I had been alone for these last days, but now, I was with a friend.
I continued to let Kay hold me. I spoke to her in an even voice. I said, "I have to talk about it. I haven't told anyone. Luke doesn't know. I want to tell him, but I don't know how." I broke down again. Between sobs, I said, "O God. How can I tell Luke? How can I tell him that I allowed myself to be taken this way?"
Kay said, "We will sort this out." She said that we would need a place where we could both be comfortable for a long time. She asked if we could use Luke's office. That is where she has her private conversations with Luke. It is set up well. The furniture includes a comfortable chair and a couch. She retrieved her notepad and a pen before I took her there.
She had me lie on Luke's couch. I had a problem. Luke and I have made love on that couch. The only time he ever spanked me, he was sitting on that couch with me across his lap. I realized there was no place in the house where I didn't have some history with Luke. I lay down and tried to make myself comfortable. I imagined that I could feel the warmth of his body on his couch.
The first thing Kay said was, "Tell me what happened."
I answered her. I said, "A complete stranger took my arm, led me out into the dark, held me down and used me for sex against my will." I felt tears forming in my eyes again.
There was quiet in the room for a whole minute. Kay said. "That's not what I need, Linda. I want you to take all the time you need to tell me everything. I want to know how this happened. I mean the complete unadulterated truth just like this was a truth time with Luke. I need to know everything this man did to you and every emotion you felt. I want you to make me feel like I was there."
I remained quiet as she paused. She said, "I can help you through this. That is what I trained for, but you will have to do your part. We have to talk about this. I want you to tell me the story in detail and then you must answer my questions truthfully. I want you to make me feel like I was watching when this thing happened. Use ugly words if you must, but give me an accurate accounting of what happened." She became quiet.
I took a couple of minutes to organize my thoughts before I began my narrative. I promised myself to give her the truth she was asking for. I thought that talking would help me let Kay help.
I said, "Okay Kay. This is what happened. Luke and I took a short vacation in the Rockies. We decided to spend our last two days before we started home in Cody, Wyoming. It was the Fourth of July and rodeo time. The world's biggest outdoor rodeo is held in Cody. The last night we were there after the rodeo was over, we went to a concert that featured a popular western rock star named Eddie Rabbitt. The concert was held in a cow pasture on the outskirts of town."
I continued, "The music was good and Luke and I sat in the grass enjoying one another. There was a hastily constructed plywood combination band shell and stage set in front of a large wooden dance floor. The floor was built about ten inches above the ground. Of course, this was all outdoors under the night sky. There were only a few footlights in front of the stage and some bare light bulbs scattered around the concession area. There was a twenty-foot tower made from construction scaffolding that supported a platform for a spotlight. The spotlight was trained on the stage. Away from the artificial lighting, it gets very dark in Wyoming."
"There were several hundred people in the crowd," I said. "People were dancing and drinking and having a good time. I excused myself to go to the Port-a-Potty and told Luke that I would get us a beer. The potties were in a line along the perimeter of the property and at the edge of darkness. I had to walk around the dance floor to get to them."
I continued, "Suddenly a man on the dance floor took my hand and pulled me up the one step to stand beside him."
He said, "You are the most beautiful girl here. Please dance with me."