Why had I started playing bingo? I ask myself this question every day now. I must have been mad to believe that you could win the way I had, and gone on to be in the situation I now find myself, without any hope of getting out from under it.
Unless I was given the reprieve I needed.
I had seen an advert on TV for on line bingo, where you were given 'free' tickets to start, and a cheap joining fee. I applied the following morning on my laptop, it cost a tenner to get going, and I won, I won 40, then later 90, a week later I won 400, I was on a roll. The trouble was it would roll me right into the shit heap I now find myself in.
I never told my husband, I didn't think it mattered, and it didn't really, until it flowed over my head. I saw another advert for on line gambling, poker and some other things. It seemed to be the same format, free try's, nominal joining fee etc.
I had no idea how to play, but the site had a learning programme, and you could actually play, but only for tokens. Once you attained a certain level, you could have a proper go, and if you got better you could play for good money.
I soon found I had an aptitude for it; soon I was winning well on the tokens. Then came the day I played proper, but only for peanuts. But I loved it, it excited me greatly.
2 weeks later I was playing against other players. I won, and won, then lost, then won, soon I was getting more and more money in my bank account. The reason it all went wrong was, I thought I was better than I actually were.
There was/is a casino not far from where I live, so one afternoon I went there; It had all the tables, blackjack, roulette, craps, 21s. Gaming machines, etc etc. I joined, I wanted to see it, look at it, and decide if I could do it, I decided I could!
So one afternoon, I was there with money in my purse, I had listened to the man who had told me, 'Never take with you, more than you can afford to lose.' Words I heeded. I took a hundred with me, and came home with 130; if I had lost I would have given it up there and then. But I had won so no problem.
I went back the day after, the same thing, 100 became 120,, then 180, then a loss, then a win, the thrill of it overtook me, but I wasn't aware of the danger I was heading to.
Soon I was a regular player at the poker table, dinks and food became free. But I was always home to cook dinner for my husband. My home life didn't suffer, I love my husband, he is the centre of my life, he is in fact still that centre. But now my life is somewhat askew!
Me? My name is Lena, I am 25, my husband is Albert, to me its just Al. He is nearly 22, we met at college, him in the first year, me in my last, I met him by accident at a college do, and even now I can't remember what the attraction was, but he asked me out the following week, and it led to my now married life.
He is from 'good stock', but this comment always makes me smile, His family is well to do, whereas mine are not, but we get on great. His long divorced dad paid for our wedding. He is 'something' in the city or whatever. Just what, I don't know, but he certainly has contacts, some of whom I'm not sure of when ever I have met them.
Al was taken under several collective wings, and he also now has a good income, but if I ask he is always vague, so I don't bother now. He spends a few days away on business here and there, so I have a tiny kind of life of my own too. I just live the good life in our large house, children are not on the horizon yet, but they are on the agenda.
He is an only son, his parents got divorced shortly after his birth, his dad never remarried, and his mother has never been seen since. Even after many searches by his dad, and Al, nothing.
I am 5ft 5" tall, not bad looking; even now I still get wolf whistles, which is always nice, because it lets me know I still look good. I love sex, and all that goes with it, though Al needs it a bit less than me, I have a rabbit for fun when I need it. My body is always sensitive to the touch; I have remained faithful to Al, but only just. I have almost been seduced a couple of times. I have managed to hold onto my vows, but I was sure that one day it would happen, I just knew it would.
But not in the way that it did, and still does.
I was telling you about me, I have a really good body; it's well shaped and very curvy. And plenty for a man to get a hold of. My face is good and my hair is great, soft, and brown, with wavy loose natural curls down past my shoulders. My legs are strong and toned, I used to run athletics at college and am still in trim, I train and still jog.
My gambling career was going on a high; I was winning regularly, and beginning to move up the league tables. I was being matched with better and better players, and I was beating them more than they beat me too!
I had an account of several 1000s which went up and down as I won and lost but generally it was on the up. I stopped asking how much was in it, I knew what I was doing, once or twice the croupier who was there on most of my games, hinted that I was losing, so I would stop and go home. The next day I was back.
This went on for months, I never asked for money out of my account, it was just filled automatically, and I signed for it as and when. Then came a day when I was asked into the manager's office. I imagined they wanted to know how I did it, have I got a system, how did I know to play so well. I was excited; I must be a bit of a celebrity or something. Well I was, but not the kind I thought of!
'Ah Mrs Harker, Lena?' he said, 'please take a seat; we need to discuss your account.' 'Yes Mr?' I asked as I looked at his badge to get his name right. 'Joplin.' 'Mrs Harker, there is a somewhat large deficit in your account that needs some urgent attention from you, if you would be so kind?' 'Deficit?' What is he talking about? I thought. 'What do you mean Mr Joplin,' I said. 'I'm afraid you art 30000 overdrawn Mrs Harker, we need to get the balance down, and in fact, it needs to be paid off.'
I nearly fell off the chair, 30000? That isn't possible, it can't be right? 'But I have credit; you must have made some sort of a mistake.' I said easily. 'Yes ma-am you do, but it has gone too high, it must be dropped to zero as soon as you can?'
'But it can't be right, I have been winning, I have the win cards?' I told him. 'Yes Mrs Harker you do, but you also have the losing ones in your cubicle.' My heart was beginning to shudder in my chest. 'Please show me how you have arrived at this figure,' I asked, still believing there was an accounting error.
He did, and I nearly died. He show me the winning amounts for the 8 preceding months, all signed for by me. And then the losing ones, again all signed for by me, there was no mistaking my signature. I had made this signature my own, virtually impossible to copy, It was mine alright.